11 Unfortunate Things Women Do That Make Men Back Away
The key to his heart is time, patience, and deep connection, not rushing.
MAD_Production | Shutterstock While there's a temptation for women to get really excited when they finally meet someone you like, it can be a bit off-putting, especially when it's just a first date. Of course, the potential for a new relationship is exciting and maybe even life-changing, but it's not something that becomes obvious when you barely know a potential mate.
Whether it's a first date, casual hangout, or just talking before meeting, there are unfortunate things women do that make men back away. It might be because she hasn't let the connection unfold organically, or makes the same dating mistakes. Either way, she should tread lightly or she might send someone new running for the hills.
Here are 11 unfortunate things women do that make men back away
1. They overshare
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Do they text him all the time? Do they tell him the mundane details of their day down to grocery shopping? If so, it means they need to calm down. There's plenty of time for monotony later.
Right now, it's best to cultivate a little mystery and let the other person miss them. Women should focus on only sharing important and pertinent details in the beginning, not what shoes they're wearing or what they ate for lunch.
2. They snoop
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Being clingy, especially when they barely know someone, is one of the unfortunate things women do that make men back away. Whether it's sleuthing to find his social media or stalking his exes, knowing their whole cyber history sets up a really strange dynamic where they already know a ton about him, but that they haven't actually shared.
Because actual stalking is so serious, this kind of behavior can be a major red flag to men. And when a woman brings up the information she found on a date, it's a bit creepy.
3. They start 'the relationship rollout' too soon
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While it's an exciting time when meeting someone new, it's important to put on the brakes and take things slow. When women begin telling their best friend, mailman, online friends, and mom all about meeting this amazing person, it sounds obsessive, especially because they barely know this person.
When women bring this up while with this new person, he can likely sense that they're way too eager. It's only been a date or two, and they're still getting to know each other. Don't make the mistake of planning for a relationship that doesn't exist yet.
As writer Jennifer Hussein put it, "Don't try to turn something fresh and new into a long-term romance. If you're hearing wedding bells in your head on the first date, keep them to yourself. Trying to DTR [define the relationship] after just a month of dating is not only way too soon, but it can freak your date out and make them run as far away as possible.
4. They tell people they've met 'the one'
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Just like women shouldn't roll everything out too soon to their friends and family, the same goes for using "the one" in the same sentence with the person's name who they just started dating. Again, they barely know this man — how can they know for sure he's their soulmate?
While women might not notice it, their friends' collective eye rolls and the intensity it puts on the new relationship can be too much for a new pairing to overcome.
5. They prematurely introduce them to friends and family
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Women might be so over the moon with their new flame and want to introduce him to their friends and family. But introducing him to everyone they know too soon sets the stage for two potentially bad situations: first, it's sending a strong message that they see him sticking around for the foreseeable future; second, it's saying to their friends and family that this person is important.
If a woman isn't sure about someone new, having them meet her friends isn't a great idea, as it takes the level of formality up a notch. According to life coach Tori Glaude, while there's no set timeline, women should consider how the relationship is going, if he brings up her friends, or doing introductions when the timing is right.
6. They bring drama everywhere
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Nobody likes a person who seems to bring drama wherever they go. But it's one of the unfortunate things women do that make men back away. And when they put him in tense situations like this, it can be off-putting.
As relationship coach Marilyn Sutherland revealed, "People who are melodramatic behave in overly emotional ways, such as causing scenes over every little problem... In general, men do not like drama or when females are playing games with them... Every man has a breaking point."
7. They use 'we' too soon
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When women begin using "we" in sentences to describe their relationship with a man, especially in the first few weeks of dating, it's incredibly jarring. Whether it's saying "We should do X" or "We are so alike," too much "we" talk can scare him away.
Women should wait until they have an established relationship to use a lot of "we." For now, focus on getting to know this person on a deeper, independent level.
8. They make references to a shared future
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Along with using "we" too liberally, another of the unfortunate things women do that make men back away is planning for the future, despite not quite having one yet. It makes the other person feel like they have to make a decision about where the relationship is going prematurely.
"It's important to check your own motivations for pursuing a relationship, regardless of the speed at which it develops... if the desire to pursue the relationship is coming from some external source — say, feeling like you need to find a partner before it's too late or a family expectation that this would be a good match for you — then you may want to proceed with caution," advised psychologist Mark Travers.
9. They drop everything to hang out
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Women shouldn't clear their entire schedule and start hanging out with this new guy every night. They shouldn't try and monopolize his time. Instead, they should keep their long-standing hobbies.
That means not giving up nights out with friends, lazy Sunday afternoons, or sports right away. If this new guy is truly great, women should focus on making him fit into their schedule, not making their schedule fit him.
10. They show possessive or jealous behavior
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When women just start dating someone, they have to accept what is going on with that person. But the same goes for him looking out for his best interests. Women who show jealous or possessive behavior early on will easily scare this new guy away, as it's a glaring red flag for him.
A woman's job is to be present and enjoy the initial stages of dating. It's not a good time to get jealous of anyone in his life. And if he becomes jealous of people in their life at this early stage, be wary.
11. They make bizarre references to the Law of Attraction
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During a date, perhaps a woman will mention how she manifests good things into her life. But things can become alarming to men when women begin talking about how their meeting was "fate." It may be flattering, but likely just as weird.
Though attraction-speak is common, women should steer clear of referring to "fate," "the universe," or anything else that pertains to things between them and their date being "meant to be," particularly in the first few months of dating. It makes women sound desperate, even if they wholeheartedly believe it.
Elizabeth Stone is a love coach and founder of Attract The One. Her work has been featured in Zoosk, PopSugar, The Good Men Project, Bustle, Ravishly, SheKnows, Mind's Journal, and more.
