11 Things That Only Feel Effortless When You're With The Right Person
When the right person comes along, everything just seems... easy.
oneinchpunch | Shutterstock When you find someone who truly complements you, that kind of connection makes even the most ordinary moments feel easy. In their presence, everyday interactions that might normally feel draining tend to flow, and each day together feels like an adventure. This person is your safe space, where you can let down your guard and authentically be yourself with no judgment.
But the things that only feel effortless when you're with the right person aren't just about the time you spend together — these are also the things that keep your relationship solid thorough the ups and downs. The communication, trust, laughter, and support are all indicative of a healthy partnership that's meant to last.
Here are 11 things that only feel effortless when you're with the right person
1. Communicating your needs and desires
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Communication is the key to a lasting relationship, and when you're with the wrong person, it can be very difficult to maintain. But you won't have to censor yourself to be with someone who is right for you. It also won't feel like a competition every time the two of you argue.
It's all in how much effort someone puts into the relationship and, in this case, the communication that makes it last. Psychiatrist Grant Hilary Brenner agreed, adding that positive communication can enhance satisfaction in a relationship, while dissatisfaction may lead to less effective communication. Something this effortless means feeling seen and heard without needing to force it out of your partner.
2. Being your authentic self
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With the right person by your side, being yourself comes with a confidence boost and a security that you've probably never felt before. When we are with the wrong people, it can feel like we are constantly changing ourselves to fit into their mold. It can get exhausting pretending to be something you're not at the behest of making somebody else happy or comfortable.
But because it's one of the incredible things that only feel effortless when you're with the right person, there's no need to overthink or hide parts of who you are. Your quirks and passions are interesting to them. When being yourself doesn't feel like work, it means that you've found the right one who values the real you.
3. Comfortable silence
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Silence can mean different things, depending on why people are quiet. According to a study published in Motivation and Emotion, when people feel comfortable being silent together on purpose, it makes them feel closer and happier. If someone is quiet because they feel anxious or angry, that kind of silence can make a relationship worse.
Being able to sit in silence with your partner and still feel at ease means you feel safe with them. The two of you might share silent glances or just relax on the couch after a long day. These are all signs that you're with the right person, because the wrong one would make you feel awkward or use it as a form of punishment.
4. Making decisions together
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Being with the right person means that when it comes to making decisions, it's more balanced rather than feeling like a power struggle. There's a natural give and take element that gives you a sense that the two of you are on the same team. Even when you have differing opinions, there is still a mutual respect.
From purchases like homes or cars to the way you parent your children, making decisions together as a couple can help your relationship flourish. And according to a study published in the Journal of Consumer Psychology, when couples share in the decision-making process, they perceive themselves as having greater power than if they had made the decision alone.
This makes the two of you more powerful together than on your own. It becomes less about what you want or what they want, and more about what is the best move for both of you.
5. Trusting your partner
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Forcing yourself to trust someone can be a disservice to you, especially when you're with someone who has broken that trust time and time again. But being able to fully trust your partner is one of the things that only feel effortless when you're with the right person.
The more you trust them, the more at ease you feel about the relationship. As clinical psychologist Forrest Talley explained, higher levels of trust in social relationships lead to greater life satisfaction, while a lack of trust can lead to feelings of isolation and emotional distress.
There might have been a time when you were with the wrong person and they broke your trust to the point where you became suspicious of everyone else's intentions. But the right person won't weaponize things from your past or use your fears to try and manipulate you.
6. Apologizing and forgiving
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Apologizing is easy, but forgiving is one of the hardest things you'll have to do in a relationship. But because it's one of the great things that only feel effortless when you're with the right person, both of these aspects of the relationship are easy.
In a study published in Personality and Individual Differences, people who were more forgiving and felt understanding toward their partner, even after being hurt, were less likely to break up. On the flip side, those who held onto anger or stayed upset were more likely to break up.
With the right person, saying sorry and practicing forgiveness become a natural way of healing together. It's less about who was right or wrong and more about protecting the bond the two of you built. When both partners remember that they're in a union together, the likelihood of them splitting up goes down.
7. Laughing at the little things
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Laughing with your person shows not only how much chemistry and compatibility you have, but promotes a mutual understanding of each other's boundaries. Embracing each other's sense of humor is no easy feat, and many people don't find a connection like this in their lifetime.
Humor brings us together and can uplift us when we're feeling down. With the wrong person, humor is often used at your expense, where it can feel like you're being belittled. The right person, however, will never disguise insults as humor, because they know that if you're not laughing along with them, the joke isn't funny.
8. Supporting one another
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Supporting each other through the most challenging times can enhance your connection with the right person. You never have to beg for support because they'll be there for you anyway. Giving that support to your partner will also make you feel better about yourself, as a study published in Frontiers in Psychology found that providing emotional support can bolster the well-being of the supporter.
The two of you believe in each other, sometimes more than you believe in yourself. That emotional backing gives the two of you time to grow within the relationship while still being together. You support each other through the highs and lows — not because you think you will get something out of it, but because you genuinely care for each other.
9. Physical affection
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Small gestures mean everything in a relationship. A gentle touch on the back or a kiss on the forehead shows your partner that you care for them. For many, quality of touch matters more than quantity. And a study from Binghamton University noted that people with avoidant attachment styles experienced increased satisfaction when they received a more affectionate touch.
Physical affection just feels right when you're with the right person. You feel less stressed in their presence and safe when they do decide to show affection. Holding hands or resting your head on their shoulder comes effortlessly. There is no second-guessing.
10. Sharing space
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Living together is a huge step to take as a couple, but there are actually some good benefits to it. According to research from Ohio State University, cohabitation plays a significant role in the number of long-term relationships lasting eight years or more. For women, cohabitation increases the likelihood of forming and maintaining long-term relationships.
Sharing a space can actually determine whether you are with the right person or not. With the right person, you won't need to hide anything from them or change your behaviors at home. A home is a safe place for a lot of people, so when someone tries to change how you live, suddenly home doesn't feel as welcoming.
In an equal, healthy partnership, the home is something you can both control, whether it's deciding what throw pillow you want or what color to paint the living room.
11. Planning for the future
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You can immediately tell if a person is right for you by the way they speak about your future together. If they go on about what they want to do and how they want to live their life, they make sure you're a part of those plans. While people fantasize about being together all the time, reality is filled with finances, conflicting goals, and differing values.
When you know you've met the one, these burdens are still important to you, but the idea of facing it alongside them gives you some sense of relief. This is what it truly means for things to feel effortless when you're with the right one.
Sylvia Ojeda is an author with a decade of experience writing novels and screenplays. She covers self-help, relationships, culture, and human interest topics.
