11 Things Men Complain About That Don’t Matter To Women At All
You're overthinking it. She doesn't care about the things you think are most important to women.
stockfour / Shutterstock We tend to make assumptions and generalizations about what we believe the other gender cares about. Men try to live up to standards that they imagine women place on them, but sometimes they are focused on the wrong things.
There are many standards that women have when it comes to the men they might get involved with. They are usually more about what is internal than what is external and superficial. But still, that doesn't stop them from assuming we care about the things that make them feel more valuable as a man. These things that men often complain about typically do not matter to women.
Here are 11 things men complain about that don't matter to women
1. Their height
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Height is a touchy subject for men. They believe that women place high importance on how tall they are, and to be fair, some of us do have some height requirements. But height is not the dealbreaker that you think it is. Most of us women value your character over your physical appearance.
Confidence can make a 5'6" man seem like he's seven feet tall. If he carries himself like he has unshakeable self-assurance, he will be ten times as attractive as a short guy who is insecure about it. Women care about how you treat them and how you carry yourself.
2. Their muscles (or lack thereof)
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While we all like to peek at some good eye candy, when it comes to picking a long-term partner, muscle definition is less important to women than men might think it is. Physical fitness is definitely attractive, but you don't need bulging biceps or six-pack abs to impress a woman you are interested in.
Women care more about how emotionally intelligent you are. Are you caring? Are you empathetic? How do you handle conflict? When the relationship gets hard, chiseled abs will do nothing to help with communication and understanding. Muscle definition can't help you be more sensitive to her needs. So go ahead and have a snack, bro.
3. The kind of car they drive
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Men hone in on expensive cars as a way to make them look more successful and impressive to women. They aspire to get the flashiest vehicle they can afford and take care of it as if they had birthed it. But what they don't know is that most women don't measure a man's worth by the car that he drives.
Financial responsibility is much more alluring than a luxury car. We care about security and stability, that what other people think about the car you have to drive and pay for. You think that an overpriced car screams "I made it!" but to a woman, a neat, clean, reliable vehicle will take you anywhere that an expensive sports car can.
4. Their hair, or the lack of it
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For men, hairlines are a sensitive topic. They hang on to the last few follicles for dear life and watch them daily, hoping to see some unexpected regrowth. Men stress so much about balding that they will get hair transplants, or start an endless collection of stylish hats and use them to hatfish women. What they don't understand is that their insecurity about their hair loss is what's unattractive, not the receding hairline itself.
The worst thing a man can do for his appearance refuse to let nature take its course. They try to get the same hairstyles that they had when they had a full head of hair, or they delude themselves by walking around with what my son calls "a cul-de-sac" or "The Mr. Burns (from The Simpsons) Special" on their heads. The truth is, we'd rather you just let it go than resist the change. Some of us like bald heads, and we might even rub yours.
5. Having to be an 'Alpha'
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Men often engage in competition with other men for ladies' attention. They believe that whoever can beat their chest the hardest will win her love and attention. This obsession with being the top dog can be off-putting to women. To us, it seems like you are hyper-focused on what other men think about you, and maybe you should be pursuing them instead.
That toxic masculinity makes you do too much to appear better or more masculine than the next man, and it's totally unnecessary. We like what we like. We don't want a man more concerned with looking good for his fellow brothers than meeting our needs. Women typically value mutual respect over power dynamics. We want a partner, not an insecure man who indulges in Red Pill podcasts.
6. Having to figure out the perfect pickup line
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Authenticity will always be best when trying to get a lady to look in your direction. A genuine, respectful approach is always preferred over a corny, rehearsed line that you try on every woman. We can tell the difference, and if we detect that you are being pretentious, we will definitely turn down your advances.
Women don't like the performative pursuit that some men engage in. It gives us the impression that you are not comfortable in your own skin and have to fake it to make it. Those cringey lines only work in the movies, so if you really want to catch a woman's attention, be yourself. If she doesn't like you, there are plenty of other fish in the sea.
7. Having to play hard to get
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Somewhere along the way, men got it twisted and started to believe that they were the prize to be pursued and treated like a princess. They thought that by acting distant and aloof, they would become more desirable to women. For women who are unhealed, that might be true, but the rest of us prefer clear, open communication over push-and-pull dynamics and mixed signals.
Playing it cool might make your boys believe you are the man, but it will leave a bad taste in the mouth of a woman you are interested in. Some men pull back, then complain that a woman is not chasing them. By then, she has blocked you and started binge-watching Bridgerton again. You snoozed and you lost. Good day, sir.
8. Having to impress women with wealth
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Men with money are used to throwing it around to get what they want. Even more of them brag about how much wealth they have because they base their self-esteem on material status. To women, this feels super inauthentic and pretentious. Pulling out your black card doesn't impress us if your personality is bankrupt.
We prefer class over cash and value ambition, kindness, shared values, and smart money decisions over frivolous spending just to prove you've got it. Those flashy displays do nothing to gain respect from women of substance, but they will draw in people who want to use you for what you have rather than who you are. If that's what you want, by all means, spend, spend, spend.
9. Having to fix everything
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I once had a man offer to hang a heavy mirror on my wall. I asked if he knew how, and he said, "Of course." It turned out he had no idea what he was doing, and it all ended with my precious mirror shattered all over the floor. Men feel pressure to solve every problem, even if they are not qualified. They want you to feel like they are your superhero, and complain when you don't.
The bottom line is, we'd be just as appreciative of you calling in a professional as if you attempted to fix something and made it worse. Even with personal problems, sometimes women want to be seen and supported, not fixed. We are venting, not seeking your 12-step solution. Nod in agreement. Hug her. Agree with what she said. That's it and that's all.
10. Having a less-than-cool job
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Men think it's about their title, but to women, it's not about that at all. It is about passion, effort, and stability. We want a man who is a provider and protector, no matter what he does for work. There is nothing more beautiful than a man who truly enjoys what he does for a living, regardless of how unglamorous it might be.
Unless she is a gold-digger, a lady is not dating your job or salary. She wants to know that you are happy with your station in life, responsible with the career that you do have, and not prone to taking unnecessary risks that take you down financially. You should know that your best is good enough for the woman you are truly meant to be with.
11. Having to hide their strange hobbies
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A man might want to hide his love of building LEGO castles, collecting model cars, or going to Comic-Con for fear of rejection by the woman in his life. He doesn't want to be judged or risk turning her off, so he hides his love for weird things, but complains that he cannot be himself around her. But little do you know, we find passion attractive. If you like it, we love it.
Your unique hobbies and habits make you different than the typical men we come across. We want you to be exactly who you were born to be. You like gaming and anime? Then, own it. Never pretend to be someone else to get another person interested in you. The mask will eventually fall off, and that will be a recipe for disaster for you and her.
NyRee Ausler is a writer from Seattle, Washington, and the author of seven books. She focuses on lifestyle and human interest stories that deliver informative and actionable guidance on interpersonal relationships, enlightenment, and self-discovery.
