10 Things Couples Must Be Able To Do In Order To Keep Their Relationship Alive

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happy couple smiling at each other

A healthy relationship requires more than just two people loving each other. It requires constant effort and continuous input from both of the people involved.

Lack of attraction is as dangerous as a lack of trust when it comes to a relationship.

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Here are 10 things couples must be able to do in order to keep their relationship alive: 

1. Focus on your friendship

The first and foremost thing you should do is be better friends with your lover. Of course, you do not have to friend-zone them, you both just need to feel connected to each other.

A well-connected couple shares their sorrow and happiness. They share their problems. They play, they laugh, they hug and they even cry together.

Be that couple.

2. Be romantic

Remember how it used to be in the beginning? How have you two always had a fun time? Remember all those cute kisses and passionate hugs?

Don’t let them fade away.

Grab your better half, run your finger through their hair, hold them close and remind them of the good old happy times. Let your actions do the talking.

3. Learn how to listen

Everyone loves a person who can listen — your other half is no different. They have hundreds of things going on around them. These things create tension and stress and can cause trauma.

Help them get rid of it. Make them speak. Listen to them patiently. Give advice if you have any.

Finally, when they are done, kiss their forehead and assure them of a better tomorrow.

4. Celebrate anniversaries

One of the loveliest ways to improve your relationship is by celebrating small moments of your life. Your marriage is not a small moment. Your first kiss and your first date are small moments we are talking about.

The idea is to spend some quality time together remembering how it used to be and then deciding to work towards the same old thing which was so much better.

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5. Laugh together

Another thing that should never be removed from any relationship is humor. A couple with a good sense of humor never gets bored and disconnected; it is like magic glue that keeps people together.

6. Appreciate one another

Do you remember how it used to be when you both first started dating? There were so many good things about each other that you noticed. It’s time to re-explore those and start appreciating them one more.

Appreciate the way your partner looks, the way they dress, the way they talk, and the way they smile. Tell them how much you love them and how lucky you are to have them.

7. Cook together

You do not really need to spend thousands and travel to a country far away to spend time together and find your lost love. Sometimes, small things like cooking a meal together is enough.

Cooking is also a good gesture to tell someone that you care. Make sure you both get into the kitchen, start with a dish, and then work together as a team. Once you both find the right ingredients, food is not the only one that will be served hot on the table.

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8. Be optimistic

People commit mistakes that are hard to forget. They keep on surfacing in your mind and make you negative. This directly affects the relationship and you start questioning the trust you have in each other.

Avoid this at all costs. Be positive. Think of a more neutral explanation for their actions. Finally, think of the good moments you have with each other and smile.

9. Go on dates

The best way to revive the spark in any relationship is by going on an adventure trip together. Pack your bags, get on your bike and go on an adventurous ride.

You will learn and explore a lot about each other and by the time you return home, you will have so much to laugh at and so much to talk about.

10. Control your anger

Anger can be your relationship’s worst enemy, it can make you speak things you do not even mean to and end a healthy relationship within seconds.

Learn to control your anger. Rise above your insecurities and try to stay calm and happy. Talk to your partner if they did something you did not like. Try to resolve the issue without arguing. Make your point clear, but give them a chance to explain their part of the story as well. Be assured that things that make you angry are not as important as things that you will lose because of it.

Relationships are not as hard as most people think. You just need to understand each other and keep the intimacy and trust alive. Attraction is temporary by nature but making it permanent is no rocket science. Think straight and be empathetic — two things that will help you resolve many of your relationship issues.

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Dan Kolubinski, Ph.D., is a is a BACP and BABCP Accredited Cognitive-Behavioural therapist and relationship counselor.

This article was originally published at Reconnect UK. Reprinted with permission from the author.