11 Signs Your Husband Was Raised Right & Is An Actually Good Person
These signs mean your husband is a pretty good guy.
Olena Yakobchuk / Shutterstock Despite popular belief, choosing who you marry is the single most important decision anyone will ever make in life. Not only financially, but in the long run, your entire life and your children's lives can either thrive or drown in the wrong marriage. This is why it's important to know the signs that your husband was raised right and is actually a good person.
It's unfortunate, but you never really know who you married until years later, when you're either thriving and in love or close to the brink of divorce. It's sad, but many people change throughout marriage don't get to see who the person is until it's far too late. So, if you want to give yourself peace of mind, here are the 11 signs your husband is a pretty good person.
11 signs your husband was raised right and is an actually good person
1. He treats waiters and waitresses with respect
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The first sign your husband was raised right and is actually a good person is if he treats the waiter or waitress with respect. Almost any man can treat their wife or family with respect. However, if you truly want to know what someone is like, observe how they treat service members. Are they kind, understanding, and respectful? Or, do they go out of their way to make their lives just a little bit harder?
According to Professor of Psychological and Brain Sciences Susan Krauss Whitbourne, PhD, ABPP, this behavior matters as being exposed to rudeness can lead to multiple negative outcomes, one of which is increasing distress levels. So, while some men might not think that being rude is a huge deal, good husbands understand that their actions have consequences and use their knowledge to be kind to others, including waiters and waitresses.
2. He's emotionally available
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It's unfortunate, but many men struggle to open up and be emotionally vulnerable with their partner. Blame it on society or other men, but there's one undeniable truth, and that's that this stunted growth often leads to men being unable to be emotionally available to their partner. So, a sign your husband was raised right and is an actually good person is if he's emotionally available. Now, that's not to say that husbands won't mess up from time to time. After all, even the most emotionally mature person might stumble from time to time.
That being said, a man who does his best to be emotionally available and there for his person often has a top-notch personality. As therapist Ariadne Platero LMSW explained, "Whether our relationships are strong or frayed, being there and being seen to be there is what nourishes and strengthens those relationships and the many ties and connection points that make them and keep them vibrant and alive."
3. He does his best to take accountability for his actions
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Despite what others may say, let's face it: it's not easy to say you're sorry. Call it a strike to the ego, but sitting down and admitting that you messed up is one of the hardest things you have to do in a relationship. That being said, a sign your husband was raised right and is an actually good person is if he does his best to take accountability for his actions.
Whether they forgot to pay the water bill or didn't take the trash out on trash day, there's a level of sincerity that comes from him when he's apologizing. With a serious and empathetic tone, a man raised by good parents can not only acknowledge what he did wrong but also shift his perspective and see how his actions hurt those around him.
According to psychotherapist David W. Johnson, Ed.D., "Once people can view the issue and situation both from their own perspective and the other person's perspective, they can more easily find mutually beneficial solutions."
This isn't shocking if he was raised by good parents. Nine times out of ten, good parents model this behavior, causing their kids to grow into adults who can take accountability for their actions.
4. He supports your independence
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In this day and age, it's not uncommon to still find men who are insecure about a woman's independence and right to choose. Whether it's choosing to go back to school or staying home, too many men feel the need to control a woman's needs without allowing them to fully explore their independence. That being said, a sign your husband was raised right and is an actual good person is if he supports your independence.
Unlike other men, a good person isn't coming into a marriage looking at what he can control. Instead, he's cheering on his wife and finding subtle ways to support her. Whether it's cooking her breakfast or buying her school supplies, men who were raised by good parents will never feel threatened or in competition with their partner, because they understand that when one person wins, they both win.
This is especially important, as Pew Research Center found that a whopping three-quarters of US adults (74%) say they would be extremely likely to turn to their spouse if they need support. So, having a strong and supportive husband is more important than people think.
5. He does his fair share of household responsibilities without being asked to
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Despite men and women both working, women are still taking on too many of the household responsibilities. According to the Gender Equality Policy Institute, "In an average week, women spend 12.6 hours cooking, cleaning, and doing other types of housework, while men spend 5.7 hours."
Believe it or not, this unequal amount of household division is bound to grow tiresome as women begin to feel unsupported, leading to extreme burnout and issues in the marriage. So, to avoid encountering this type of man, a sign your husband was raised right and is an actually good person is if he does his fair share of household responsibilities without being asked to.
There's a difference between helping and helping without being asked to. Men who only do chores because they were forced to don't necessarily care about their partner or think about their well-being. On the flip side, men who go out of their way to wash the dishes and take out the trash (without being asked to) genuinely care for their partner and want to make their lives easier.
So, if a woman wants to know if she married the right man, ask yourself this question: "Do I find myself bossing him around? Or does he do these things without me needing to guide him?
6. He respects women
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Another sign your husband was raised right and is an actually good person is if he respects women. It should go without saying that men and women should be respectful towards one another. Unfortunately, the reality is that with the rise of violence and red pill content, women have been given less and less respect.
As Georgetown Journal of International Affairs explained, "The redpill is the gateway into the conspiratorial thinking which drives the majority of far-right violent extremism."
And while most people would love to believe that this disrespect only extends to a small percentage, the United Nations Development Programme noted that 90% of men and women hold some bias against women.
That being said, if your husband was raised right, he'll always actively respect women. Whether it's holding open the door or helping a woman cross the road, men who treat women they don't know with the utmost respect are bound to treat their partner even better.
7. He stands up for what's right, even if he stands alone
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It's all too easy for men to cave into peer pressure when it comes to their friends. Despite how bad their friends' behavior is, most men might feel too conflicted to speak up as they don't want to risk being the odd one out. However, men aren't necessarily alone in this. Everyone, including women, struggles with stepping away from the in crowd to do what's right. Arguably, the need for community outweighs the desire to do right. This can explain why one study published in 2020 found that community belonging is associated with greater mental health.
With all this in mind, a sign your husband was raised right and is an actually a good person is if he stands up for what's right, even if he stands alone. It's not easy to be the odd one out, but sticking to one's morals despite that uncomfortability shows someone with strong character who was likely raised by pretty upstanding people. So, if your husband is constantly doing what's right, then congratulations, he's a keeper.
8. He practices gratitude often
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It's all too easy for men to take their wives for granted as the years go by. So used to their wives' love and actions, they don't truly think about how lucky they are, until it's far too late. That being said, not all husbands are like that, and a sign your husband was raised right and is an actually good person is if he practices gratitude.
It doesn't take much to show appreciation for one's person. A hug, a kiss on the cheek, and an acknowledgment of their actions are often the difference between a thriving and failing marriage. While it might sound dramatic, everyone wants to feel appreciated and acknowledged for their actions.
According to a study in 2020, partners who felt more appreciated experienced greater commitment in the relationship. So, if a man is constantly acknowledging yours and showing appreciation, then not only was he raised right, but he's also a very good person.
9. He keeps his word
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All too often, people will go back on their word as they realize that it requires more sacrifice than they're willing to make. However, a sign your husband was raised right and is an actually good person is if he keeps his word, no matter what. Sure, it might not always be easy, but husbands give it their all to make you happy.
This means that if they promised you'd be going to Target tomorrow, then guess what? You're going, no questions asked. Unfortunately, not all men care about promises, and all too often do women find themselves frustrated by the lack of consideration and loyalty from their partners.
So, if you find yourself feeling frustrated by your partner's inability to keep his word, then do what you feel like you need to do to put your mental well-being first. However, if your partner is almost always keeping his promises, no matter what, then show a little appreciation; he was clearly raised right.
10. He invests in his personal growth
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Nowadays, it's not uncommon to hear about men's struggle with loneliness and the marketplace. Despite how hard men have worked to make a name for themselves, the effort isn't enough, as life becomes increasingly harder. That being said, there are two types of men in this world: men who rise to the occasion and men who crumble.
A sign your husband was raised right and is an actually good person is if he invests in his personal growth. Now, no man is perfect, but whenever life throws him lemons, he has the strength necessary to get back up and try again. Through this, he's able to reflect on his prior actions and readjust accordingly.
Not only does this make for a highly successful and resilient man, but it also shows a man who had a great upbringing, as his partners likely taught him how important it was to invest in himself.
11. He builds others up
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Finally, the last sign your husband was raised right and is an actually good person is if he builds others up. Oftentimes, people hear about women building men up, but what about men building men or other women up? It sounds simple, but all too often do women, including wives, feel unsupported by the men in their lives.
From ruining their big days to refusing to cheer her on, there are plenty of ways men can miss the opportunity to build others up. However, if a man was raised right, then there's no doubt that he's people's go-to hype person that they depend on during times of need.
Unlike others, this man keeps things positive and is able to inspire those around him with comforting words and helpful actions. Not only does this attract more people to him, but this is just another sign that he's a good person and, by extension, a good husband.
Marielisa Reyes is a writer with a bachelor's degree in psychology who covers self-help, relationships, career, family, and astrology topics.
