9 Signs You’re In Love With A Man, Not A Boy

Know the difference. Know it well.

couple embracing Dikushin Dmitry / Shutterstock

In dating and relationships, there are stark differences between men who are emotionally mature, and those who… well, aren’t. For the sake of illustrating these differences in this article, we will refer to the emotionally immature as "boys," and the emotionally mature as "men."

This is a list of nine great points from my good friend, Adam LoDolce. For those of you unfamiliar, Adam has been featured by multiple major media outlets such as Cosmopolitan, MTV, CNN, Glamour, and quite a few more.


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But, enough about Adam (sorry, man), let’s get to what this is really about: The signs you’re dating a man, not a boy. I was once a boy, now I’m a man. It took me 29 years to get here, but I’ve arrived. It’s more than most men can say.

And that’s because age has nothing to do with being a man. Age is merely a number — actions define who he really is. But here’s the problem: most women spend their time trying to change boys into men. Well, that ends today. If you’re dating a boy right now, it’s up to you to be a woman and move on with your life.


Here are 9 signs you’re in love with a man, not a boy:

1. Boys avoid uncomfortable conversations — men know how to communicate their needs

Even the best relationships have friction. You’re going to do or say something he doesn’t like — it’s inevitable. Boys are passive-aggressive, whereas a mature man will have a productive conversation with you … even if it’s a little awkward.

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2. Boys only want to hook up — men invest their time and energy in the right woman

There’s a moment in every man’s life when he realizes that being in a relationship makes him significantly happier than chasing "tail" every night. If you’re only hearing from him at 1 a.m. on a Saturday night, he’s not ready to give up his toys. Move on and find yourself a grown man.


3. Boys will compliment you to get in your pants — men pay compliments because they want you to feel great about yourself

There’s a huge difference between delivering a compliment to get something and delivering a compliment to give something. Mature men are givers because they know a mature woman will reciprocate.

4. Boys live day by day — men work hard to build a future for themselves and their women

When you’re only focused on making yourself happy, you can party every night and be lazy every day. Once you realize that other people are relying on you, you’re willing to make the sacrifices you need to support your family.

5. Boys are intimidated by smart women — men are stimulated by them

If he’s insecure about his own intellect, he won’t risk it with a smart girl. The boy will stay in his comfort zone, whereas a mature man wants the challenge of a smart woman.

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6. Boys make promises they can’t keep — men say it and mean it

One of the biggest mistakes I’ve ever made was telling a woman I loved her when I didn’t mean it. I was a scared little boy trying to make a girl happy. A mature man will tell a woman how he feels when he feels it. And if it’s not there, he won’t make it up.

7. Boys avoid any chance of rejection — men face their fears and go for it

Here’s the thing, both men and boys hate getting rejected — no matter who you are, rejection sucks. The only difference is that a mature man will push through his fears and go for it anyway because you’re worth it.

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8. Boys don’t set priorities — a man realizes what’s most important and makes you a priority

A mature man wants to spend his time with the people he cares about. And if he’s dating you, he cares about you. He will want to be with you and only you.


9. Boys put you down — men encourage and support you

Scared little boys will try to drag a woman down with them as a defense mechanism. A mature man understands that he will grow as a man if his woman is growing as a woman.

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James Michael Sama is a relationship expert who writes about dating and relationships. He speaks on the topics of chivalry, romance, and happiness, and has been featured in news segments, talk shows, and mainstream radio.