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Trust us, you'll know.
By James Michael Sama — Updated on Mar 07, 2023
Does he really care about you, or is he just playing you? And how can you tell? Admittedly, it can be hard to read people these days. Does it matter how long it took to return your text? Did they just give you attitude because they only sent one word, or are they just really busy?
Below are a few general things to pay attention to when a man is courting you that may help you realize whether or not he is really into you. I hope this insight is helpful, you know, since I'm a man and all.
10 straightforward signs a man actually cares about you:
1. He will take initiative making plans with you.
No matter how busy a man is, if he really wants to see you, he will make time for you. No excuses, lies, or broken promises. If he is into you, he won't be putting off making plans. In fact, he will be taking the initiative to make suggestions and set dates.
See it as a red flag if he is always "too busy" for you, yet seems to have time to go out with his friends or is always posting photos from parties on social media.
2. He will invite you on a proper date.
None of this "Hey, I'm out with some friends, wanna meet up?" before he gets to know you nonsense. If a man wants to get to know you, he will put in the time and the effort to spend time one-on-one with you, and see what you are all about.
If he's always trying to fit you into his pre-existing plans and you feel like the text he sent could have gone to 10 other girls at the same time, he's just not that into you.
3. He won't push the physical stuff early on.
There is a fine line here. I am not saying that he will refuse it on a first, second, or third date if he is really into you. However, he won't push it or get upset if it doesn't happen. Can anyone guess why?
This is because he truly enjoys spending time with you, and is not looking to move forward strictly physically. He values you more than someone he is just trying to get into bed.
4. He will remember your interests and act on them.
Did you mention the smell of a candle that you like to him? Is there a book you enjoy reading or a show you enjoy seeing? A man who is into you will hang on your words and pay attention to detail.
5. He will drive a distance just to see you.
It doesn't matter if you live 10 minutes or an hour away from each other — a man who is really into you will make the effort to come see you. Even if you are not far enough along for him to stay over at your place, or vice versa, he will come to you, take you out, and then drive home thinking about you the whole way.
6. He will not check his phone on dates.
Early on in a relationship, this is a great way to tell if a man is really paying attention to you or not. If he is out with you, who else matters? Of course, if he is on-call or waiting for the phone to ring about an emergency, it is a different story. But, otherwise, his full attention should be on you.
7. He will text you when he gets home from seeing you.
If you are not yet at the stage where you're spending nights together, after his journey home from dropping you off (or the next morning), you should expect a text about what a great time he had or how excited he is to see you again. However, if you feel like too much time is going by and you haven't heard from him, don't be afraid to shoot him a text to say the same thing. See how enthusiastically he responds.
8. He's OK with PDA, but keeps it G-rated.
I certainly don't mean that he will be ripping your clothes off during dinner, but a man who is interested in you will have no problem with holding your hand, walking arm in arm, or putting his arm around you in public.
9. He will stop going to bars or other places to meet women.
What would the point be if he found someone he is truly interested in?
10. He will tell you, and show you.
A man (or anyone) can talk a certain way, and then act another way. Words are nice, but they are always drowned out by actions. Early on in a relationship, watch what someone does more than what they say. Words can be dishonest, but actions can't.
And mostly, be honest with yourself. A woman's intuition is a powerful force and yet so many choose to ignore it. Don't let yourself get played because you refused to see the signs you know you saw.
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James Michael Sama is a relationship expert who writes about dating and relationships. He speaks on the topics of chivalry, romance, and happiness, and has been featured in news segments, talk shows, and mainstream radio.
This article was originally published at James Sama. Reprinted with permission from the author.