10 Rare Signs A Man’s Emotionally Invested In You, According To Psychology
When a man wants you, you'll know.
Christian Buehner | Unsplash Does he really care about you, or is he just playing you? And how can you tell? Admittedly, it can be hard to read people these days. Does it matter how long it took to return your text? Did they just give you attitude because they only sent one word, or are they just really busy?
Below are a few general things to pay attention to when a man is courting you that may help you realize whether or not he is really into you. I hope this insight is helpful, you know, since I'm a man and all.
Here are 10 rare signs a man’s emotionally invested in you, according to psychology:
1. He will take the initiative in making plans with you
No matter how busy a man is, if he really wants to see you, he will make time for you. No excuses, lies, or broken promises. If he is into you, he won't be putting off making plans.
In fact, he will be taking the initiative to make suggestions and set dates. See it as a red flag if he is always "too busy" for you, yet seems to have time to go out with his friends or is always posting photos from parties on social media.
2. He will invite you on a proper date
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None of this "Hey, I'm out with some friends, wanna meet up?" before he gets to know you nonsense. If a man wants to get to know you, he will put in the time and the effort to spend time one-on-one with you and see what you are all about. If he's always trying to fit you into his pre-existing plans and you feel like the text he sent could have gone to 10 other girls at the same time, he's just not that into you.
While a proper date doesn't guarantee emotional investment, it can be a positive indicator, especially when paired with other behaviors. Research shows that initiating a date demonstrates an interest in building a relationship beyond casual interaction. However, other factors like consistent communication, prioritizing you and showing genuine interest in getting to know you are also crucial indicators of emotional investment.
3. He won't push the physical stuff early on
There is a fine line here. I am not saying that he will refuse it on a first, second, or third date if he is really into you. However, he won't push it or get upset if it doesn't happen. Can anyone guess why?
This is because he truly enjoys spending time with you, and is not looking to move forward strictly physically. He values you more than someone he is just trying to get into bed.
4. He will remember your interests and act on them
Did you mention the smell of a candle that you like to him? Is there a book you enjoy reading or a show you enjoy seeing? A man who is into you will hang on your words and pay attention to detail.
Research suggests that this demonstrates a genuine interest in the other person and a willingness to make efforts to connect with them on a deeper level. In a healthy relationship, emotional investment should be a mutual exchange, with both partners showing genuine interest in each other's lives and interests.
5. He will drive a distance just to see you
It doesn't matter if you live 10 minutes or an hour away from each other — a man who is really into you will make the effort to come see you. Even if you are not far enough along for him to stay over at your place, or vice versa, he will come to you, take you out, and then drive home thinking about you the whole way.
6. He will not check his phone on dates
Early on in a relationship, this is a great way to tell if a man is really paying attention to you or not. If he is out with you, who else matters? Of course, if he is on-call or waiting for the phone to ring about an emergency, it is a different story. But, otherwise, his full attention should be on you.
While there isn't specific research linking phone usage during a date to emotional investment, it's generally considered a sign of attentiveness and focus when a person actively engages in the date and avoids checking their phone. Disengagement, including excessive phone use, can signal disinterest and a lack of focus on the other person.
7. He will text you when he gets home from seeing you
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If you are not yet at the stage where you're spending nights together, after his journey home from dropping you off (or the next morning), you should expect a text about what a great time he had or how excited he is to see you again. However, if you feel like too much time is going by and you haven't heard from him, don't be afraid to shoot him a text to say the same thing. See how enthusiastically he responds.
8. He's okay with PDA, but keeps it G-rated
I certainly don't mean that he will be ripping your clothes off during dinner, but a man who is interested in you will have no problem with holding your hand, walking arm in arm, or putting his arm around you in public.
While no definitive study states PDA is proof of emotional investment, the available research suggests it can signify a strong bond and a desire to display affection publicly. Public displays of affection can signal a couple's desire to show their commitment to each other and build intimacy. However, it's important to remember that factors beyond genuine emotional connection, such as social expectations or insecurities, can also influence PDA.
9. He will stop going to bars or other places to meet women
What would the point be if he found someone he is truly interested in? One study argues that it's more likely to indicate emotional investment when combined with other behaviors like actively seeking time with you, showing interest in your life, and expressing affection. Emotional investment involves a deeper connection and willingness to prioritize a relationship over casual interactions.
10. He will tell you, and show you
A man (or anyone) can talk a certain way, and then act another way. Words are nice, but they are always drowned out by actions. Early on in a relationship, watch what someone does more than what they say. Words can be dishonest, but actions can't.
And mostly, be honest with yourself. A woman's intuition is a powerful force and yet so many choose to ignore it. Don't let yourself get played because you refused to see the signs you know you saw.
James Michael Sama is an internationally recognized speaker, author, and personal development coach. He has become a go-to expert with outlets such as CNN, Bravo, The New York Post, The Huffington Post, The Daily Beast, CNBC, The Boston Globe, CBS, and more.
