8 Seriously Valid Reasons Why Some People Choose To Never Get Married
Everyone envisions their future differently. And for some, marriage isn't part of it.
PeopleImages.com - Yuri A | Shutterstock Society tells people, women especially, that they should aspire to be a wife when they become an adult. With rom-coms and fairytales tricking us into romanticizing this as a life goal, there are also seriously valid reasons why some people choose to never get married, even if they maintain a relationship long-term.
The "traditional" life path of meeting someone, falling in life, and getting married isn't for everybody. And despite people raising their eyebrows at couples who don't want to get married, there's nothing wrong with this decision. Never wanting someone to put a ring on it is a valid personal choice, and people are entitled to make decisions like that for themselves.
Here are 8 seriously valid reasons why some people choose to never get married
1. They highly value personal space
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When people are in serious relationships, they tend to spend a lot of time together. They enjoy one another's company, but there are still times when they just want to relax by themselves in their own private space, away from their partner. In fact, everybody needs alone time now and then. According to psychology educator Kendra Cherry, alone time allows people to partake in personal exploration.
"Becoming comfortable in your own company can give you the time and freedom to truly explore your own passions without interference... Taking some time for yourself allows you to explore these aspects free from the pressures and judgments of others. Having time to yourself is critical for growth and personal development. Instead of worrying about the needs, interests, and opinions that others may have, alone time lets you focus on yourself," Cherry revealed.
So, there's nothing wrong with one or both partners in a relationship wanting time to themselves. They are self-aware enough to know that not only do they not want to get married, but that this time alone is what they need for real happiness.
2. They don't want to have kids
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Not wanting kids is one of the seriously valid reasons why some people choose to never get married. For many people, marriage is the logical next step to take when they feel ready to start a family. But for couples who don't intend to become parents, walking down the aisle and taking vows seems a bit unnecessary. And while there are those who believe that once you get married, couples will change their minds on kids, doing so likely leads to acrimony, unhappiness, and divorce.
Of course, couples who don't want to get married still likely want to be in a loving long-term relationship. People looking in may think of it this way, but it really only means they're actively rejecting the traditional standards in favor of creating their own path for their life and future happiness.
3. You don't fantasize about a wedding
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From a young age, women, especially, are fed stories about having a dream, fairytale wedding where they stand at the altar with their Prince Charming. But that's not true, as there are plenty of people who don't ever fantasize about having a "perfect wedding." Not all of us are born to wile away the hours dreaming of a wedding, complete with a theme, dress, and reception.
For couples who don't have matrimony on their minds, they have no intention of even dreaming up their perfect wedding, because it's simply not what they want. They understand that even though a wedding is just one day, a marriage is forever, and that supposedly romantic notion of planning the proverbial rest of their lives together doesn't appeal to them.
After all, the average wedding for 2025 costs about $33,000 due to price increases on goods and the combined cost of vendors and venues. Couples who don't see marriage in their future can surely save a pretty penny by avoiding a wedding and a marriage.
4. Their parents aren't married
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Many people who get married do so because they are consciously or unconsciously modeling their relationship goals after the relationship of their parents. On the other hand, if their parents have been happily married for decades, chances are high that they will want to recreate their brand of happiness when it comes to building a life with their own romantic partner.
The picture that a couple has of what a marriage looks like will be different from that of their friends whose parents have never even raised their voices to each other. Research has even suggested that children of divorced parents have a slightly higher risk of experiencing their own divorce. So, for couples who have negative associations with marriage, they probably don't want to repeat the past and want to make something different instead.
5. They're not religious
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In many religious faiths, marriage is considered a sacred rite and the cornerstone of the family system. But for couples who aren't religious, one of the seriously valid reasons why some people choose to never get married is related to their lack of involvement in religions that encourage this idea of holy matrimony.
Whether they're atheist or prefer spirituality over an organized setting, they may not see the need for standing up and taking religious vows with their partner. Of course, they could always have a civil union, but if they don't believe that religious institutions serve a positive purpose, even the civil institution of marriage may feel way too much like letting other people into your business.
6. They don't believe in monogamy
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Monogamy isn't for everyone, especially considering that one survey from YouGov determined that about one-third (34%) of Americans "describe their ideal relationship as something other than complete monogamy." The only rules in any relationship should be dictated by those created by the people within it, including those who are non-monogamous.
When people get married, that literally cannot be the case. They not only take specific vows, but their couplehood is now bound by the laws of their state, whether either or both agree with them or not. People who are polyamorous, specifically, believe that love is an infinite resource, and promising to love only one person for the rest of their life comes in direct conflict with that perspective.
At the end of the day, people don't have to get married to experience true, lasting love, and they don't have to isolate their hearts to loving just one person in order to have fulfilling romantic experiences.
7. They prioritize their careers
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As many married couples understand, a marriage takes constant hard work and commitment. But for people who want to excel in their careers, putting a job before a relationship can have negative impacts. Whether it's stress from work carrying over into the home, neglecting their partner for overtime, or burning out from being overwhelmed, married couples are sure to feel the pressure, as marriage consultant Melissa Orlov explained.
Of course, relationships still take work, and there's something to be said of maintaining a good work-life balance. But couples who don't want to get married understand that when they can focus on their career without having to worry about "working at their marriage every day," it removes some of the stress and resentment that can build between partners.
8. They don't view marriage as an end goal in life
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One of the most seriously valid reasons why some people choose to never get married is that they really just don't envision it in their future. When couples have been together for years and are both happy with their lives, why change a good thing? A healthy relationship involves a couple lifting up one another, laughing together, and providing emotional support through the bad times, and they don't need a marriage to have those qualities.
According to research from Cornell University, couples aren't getting married because they have a "fear of divorce." According to the researchers, "Among cohabitating couples, more than two-thirds of the study's respondents admitted to concerns about dealing with the social, legal, emotional and economic consequences of a possible divorce."
A long-term romantic relationship doesn't have to focus on marriage as the ultimate goal. As long as a relationship sustains and satisfies both partners, there's no reason to change any of that just because of societal pressure to do so. Any relationship is whatever both partners make of it. If they don't want to get married, they don't need to. Instead, they should live their lives in the light and nurture their relationship.
Rebecca Jane Stokes is an editor and freelance writer. Her bylines have appeared in Fatherly, Gizmodo, Yahoo Life, Jezebel, Apartment Therapy, Bustle, Cosmopolitan, SheKnows, and many others.
