6 Things That Make A Strong Woman Feel Truly Seen And Loved, According To Psychology
She doesn't need you, but she does need to feel seen.
Andrej Lisakov | Canva It’s easy to love someone dependent upon you, but is it healthy? Some of the strongest relationships are ones where both partners are self-sufficient, able to stand confidently and securely on their own, and truly feel seen and loved by their partner.
Research shows that when both parties are independent, rather than co-dependent, it creates a relationship that’s built upon strength and security, rather than an unequal balance of power. But, how do you love someone who may want you, but doesn’t need you? Although this may sound like a challenge, it’s truly not.
Here are six things that make a strong woman feel truly seen and loved, according to psychology:
1. Understand that she is, and always will be, her own person
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The most important truth you need to recognize if you’re going to love a woman who’s content on her own is that she is and always will be her person. And so should you.
When you love an independent woman, her independence won’t change simply because of your relationship. It’s important to support and give space for her to grow into her unique identity and not ask her to change because of you or your relationship.
2. Know that a relationship doesn’t define either of you
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A relationship is an addition to your life. It isn’t your whole life. It’s important to keep this in mind when you start dating an independent woman. Although your connection will bind you together, it won’t be either of your definitions.
You can and should have other friends, commitments, goals, and obligations outside of your partnership. This will help you continue to be yourselves.
Research stresses that relationships should enhance life, not define it. They should promote individual growth and prevent dependency. Healthy relationships offer benefits like increased longevity and stress reduction, but they should complement, not replace, other essential aspects of an individual's life, like hobbies, friendships, and personal goals.
3. Give her space to grow and spread her wings
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In order to truly love a woman who’s content on her own, you have to give her the space to truly flourish. She won’t become her own person if she’s constantly standing in your shadow.
And if you clip her wings or stifle her growth, your relationship will ultimately crumble, because she can’t be her true self. If you really want to love her, give her the space to bloom.
4. Respect her boundaries
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Everyone has boundaries. When these boundaries are respected, the relationship thrives. When they’re not, the relationship cracks and can even cease to exist. Every relationship needs to respect your partner’s boundaries, and for someone who’s content on her own, this is even more important.
Keep in mind: she doesn’t need you, especially if you disrespect her. All she needs, she already has within herself. Respecting boundaries shows your partner that you value their autonomy and needs, building trust and a sense of safety. A 2019 study explained that partners feel more secure and valued when boundaries are respected, knowing their needs are being considered.
5. Find ways to support one another
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Independent women need support, but sometimes they push back, because they’re so used to being on their own and supporting themselves. To have a strong relationship, you have to show your partner that you’re there and that you support her. She’s not in this alone anymore.
6. Focus on growing together
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A productive relationship is focused on growing individually and also together. When you love a woman who’s content on her own, it becomes even more important to focus on the growth that happens as a unit. This will help you to continue to build your relationship and not just your selves.
Couples who prioritize shared personal growth experience more satisfaction and less conflict in their relationships than those who do not. This doesn't mean growing in the same direction; it means acknowledging and honoring the changes both partners experience. Research indicates that engaging in new activities can foster a sense of security and strengthen the relationship.
Marisa Donnelly is a writer, editor, coach, and digital strategist.
