If A Man Expects His Wife To Give Up 8 Seemingly Small Things, He's Likely Not A Very Good Person
LightField Studios | Shutterstock We all want certain things out of our relationships, and when we find someone who is a good match, it's because they have those qualities we're looking for. But when a marriage isn't equal, a husband may want his wife to abandon her values or interests to make him feel more secure.
Women shouldn't have to sacrifice everything for their relationship to work. So, when a man expects his wife to give up the things she loves, even if it seems like a small ask, it means he's likely not a very good person.
A man is likely not a good person if he expects his wife to give up seemingly small things
1. Male friendships
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It's a misconception that women and men can't be just friends. There are plenty of women who surround themselves with other men, but attraction has nothing to do with it. Things never became romantic, but later in life, their significant others might not see it that way.
Some men don't understand the difference between friendship and romantic interest. Many men see their wives who have male friendships as a red flag, even when she's been friends with them for years. This may make her husband fearful, leading to suspicious behavior and jealousy.
2. Spending quality time with family
Even though couples do spend a lot of time together, as they usually live in the same home, spending time with family and friends is just as important. As one study published in the Journal of Adult Development found, intergenerational experiences are necessary to building not just life skills, but important values people carry through life.
When a man expects his wife to spend all her time with him, it's selfish. He's choosing his needs over those of his partner. And in a marriage that is supposed to be equal, it's unfair and indicates he may not be that good of a person after all.
3. Her career
Historically, men have been expected to be the breadwinners for their families. Luckily, times have changed and women make up almost half of the workforce. While some women choose to stay home, others prefer to work outside of the home. Either option is a preference, but a husband who wants a wife to give up what she wants isn't acting in her best interest.
Some men justify this because their jobs pay more money. This can make a wife feel belittled and less confident in all the hard work she's put into her job. A good husband should support his wife's goals and want her to succeed, not see her working as a threat.
4. Well-deserved alone time
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Sometimes, people really need alone time to unwind. Solitude reduces stress, though it's important to keep a balance. Some wives with busy schedules might not have that much free time, and their ability to relax may be cut short if their husbands don't like it. Spending time alone is meant entirely for yourself, and a husband who wants his wife to give hers up likely hasn't accepted this independence.
He might feel like the free time you have should be spent on the relationship or supporting his lifestyle. But you have to support yourself first. If you're feeling drained, you're less likely to show up for anyone, including him.
5. Living somewhere she feels uncomfortable
Couples may be together for some time before moving in with one another. But one partner may end up in a location that they don't like. Because relationships are all about compromise, it's normal to expect to give up certain comforts, but having one partner take over the situation to control where they live is toxic.
Wives shouldn’t feel like they have to compromise by letting their husband be the one who gets everything he wants. If a place isn't right for her, it's unfair to ask her to be unhappy. Where we live has a huge impact on our overall happiness, and a good person has enough empathy not to force someone through a harmful situation like this.
6. Her hobbies and interests
When a husband and wife try to choose an activity to do together, they might not have the same idea of fun. Maybe she wants to go hiking but he would rather play golf. If they don’t get to spend a lot of time together, it can make the situation complicated. But good spouses make it a point to try things their partner is into, even if it's not their cup of tea.
Unfortunately, a husband isn't that great of a person if he forces his wife to neglect her hobbies and things that bring her joy, all in favor of his preferences. He doesn’t prioritize the things his wife enjoys, so he likely doesn’t prioritize her. When we put someone first in our lives, we want them to be happy, so by taking that away, it reveals a lot.
7. Financial independence
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Decades ago, women were forced to rely on men for their finances. Up until 1974, women couldn't apply for or own a credit card in their own name. This led to a new generation of women being taught to have their own money separate from their husbands, in order to have financial independence.
Some women who give up their financial independence also end up being told what they can and cannot buy. It can quickly turn into financial abuse or exploitation, and make women feel like they don’t have independence to make simple, everyday choices.
8. Emotional support
Women tend to get a lot of support from their female friends, as women are usually more likely to listen and be empathetic. Men rarely go to their male friends for advice, choosing instead to rely exclusively on their wife to help with their emotional needs. While it’s important to be supportive of your partner, that doesn’t mean only one person should give or receive that support.
When a man expects his wife to prioritize his emotional needs, it leaves her feeling like he doesn’t care enough to help her when she's in need of that support. It could also mean he doesn’t have empathy. But a good husband allows himself and his wife to feel safe sharing their wants and needs, and lends a listening ear.
Lily Bell is a college student studying English and Publications who covers relationships, mental health, and personal narratives surrounding the human experience.
