Women Who Find It Easier To Be Friends With Guys Than Girls Usually Have These 11 Reasons
Sometimes, being friends with men is the best thing a woman can do for herself.
Jose Calsina / Shutterstock So, uh, fun fact: most of my friends are guys. While I do have a bunch of female friends, the truth is that men have always been more loyal friends to me. As it turns out, there are many women who find it easier to be friends with guys than girls, and they usually share much of the same reasoning.
Even when I was a kid, most of my friends were boys, save for two girls with whom I often hung out just because. Most people were baffled by it. What’s the deal with the girl who tends to get along better with guys? I've found that it often has something to do with these reasons below.
Women who find it easier to be friends with guys than girls usually have these 11 reasons
1. She might experience internalized misogyny
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Let’s kick the elephant out of the room, okay? There are a lot of women who just hate women, even though they are one themselves. They’re often the ones who say they’re “not like the other girls,” followed up with a remark about why women are awful.
If a girl is constantly putting down girly things, making snide remarks about girls, and trying to show how she’s different from them, that’s a sign that she hates her own gender. In many cases, this happens due to social pressures or the way they were raised.
Either way, this girl’s not getting along with girls because she’s actively choosing to avoid them. She doesn’t like women.
2. It could be that she gets jealous of other girls easily
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A close relative of the “not like other girls” trope is the girl who wants to be the only girl in the group but is oddly okay with having female friends one-on-one. This is similar, but the truth is that it’s more about the male gaze than anything.
Girls who insist on being the only girl of the group tend to be girls who are insecure and desperate for male validation. This is the girl who views other girls as competition whenever there’s a guy around. She is more into validation than friendship.
3. She may have experienced repeated bullying or rejection
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This is something that happened to me. I used to be made fun of by girls at my school. Any time I’d be vulnerable around them, it was used against me. Eventually, I started to assume that girls would never be friends with me. I was traumatized into thinking that way.
Even though I know at face value that isn’t true, it took years before I could trust another woman around me. It takes a lot of rebuilding, unpacking, and good experiences before you are able to get along with certain people after a certain level of trauma. Not all women who experience being bullied to the point of accepting that kind of thing can recover.
4. Some women prefer male-dominated activities
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Before nearly half of all gamers were women, many ladies who played videos games often saw themselves as simply not feminine. The same was often true of girls in other male-dominated activities, such as woodworking, computer programming, hacking, car customization, and street racing.
How would I know? I’ve been that girl. Oh, and scientific studies also tend to back this up. When you feel like you’re not feminine enough to work with a female friendship, you might end up just forgoing it as a default.
5. She might find men easier to communicate with
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It’s true. Genders communicate differently. Studies have revealed that men tend to be more direct in their communication style than women. They also tend to be more solution-oriented rather than rapport-building in style.
Women who tend to be more blunt, or even brash, are more likely to get along with men. They may view a lot of the small talk that girls do as annoying or oddly useless. Or, if they’re on the spectrum, they might simply not understand why it’s done.
6. It may be what she's used to
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Being “one of the girls” isn’t easy if you don’t really know how to “girl” right, speaking from experience. When you grow up around mostly male groups, you get used to the type of dynamic that happens between men and women.
Girls socialize differently. Trying to be a new part of a women’s group can be hard, especially when you don’t know the subtle ins and outs of a typical female-female relationship.
7. They feel like female friendships come with more expectations
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Did you ever notice how much more stuff you often have to do for a female friend? You’re always hanging out with them, are a phone call away, or are attending formal events with them. It can be a lot.
Male friendships tend to be pretty simple. You might not talk for ages, but then when you pop up, it’s as if nothing happened. If you lead a high-demand life, it’s a blessing to be able to keep that vibe low-key.
8. It could be a matter of how they like to bond
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Women tend to bond with one another through chatting, discourse, and camaraderie. Men, not so much. Psychologists have found that male bonding is most often characterized as activity-based behavior.
So, in other words, guys bond better through things like playing basketball or even fixing a problem. Gals tend to bond through intimate conversations and hanging out as a group.
9. They might also be interested in something more
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Here’s a legitimate thing I’ve noticed about a small percentage of women I’ve known: some women who go out of their way to hang out with guys aren’t really about “preferring” male friendship. They tend to be more interested in dating their potential friends, using friendship as a channel for more.
For the guys reading this: do not, and I repeat, do not, assume this to be the case for all your female friends. I’ve seen this dating strategy happen maybe three times in my life!
10. In some cases, they also don’t really feel female
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Does it seem like a girl you know really wants to be “one of the boys,” in more ways than one? It could be that she doesn’t actually want to be female. Some may tend to hang out with guys as a way to feel closer to that masculine feeling without actually being out in the open about it.
According to M.Farouk Radwan, MSc., this can also be a sign that she has a little more testosterone than other women. That hormone can make people aggressive, which may make friendships with women a bit harder.
11. They might appreciate getting a guy’s perspective
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Most women talk to other women because they have a shared experience. Life as a woman is not easy, even though others might say it is. Sometimes, though, it can be hard to see things from a guy’s perspective as a woman, even if you were raised with a high level of empathy for men.
Actually talking to a guy, asking them what they see from their perspective, and talking things out often sheds light on subjects in a unique way. It’s a lot like having a friend from another country discuss a social issue you don’t understand. Some women prefer that perspective and, therefore, prefer male friends.
If you meet a girl who seems to have more guy friends than girls and actually likes it that way, there's probably a good reason why that is, and there's no need to bash her by calling her a "pick me." Some girls just don't bond well with other girls, and that's okay.
Ossiana Tepfenhart is a writer whose work has been featured in Yahoo, BRIDES, Your Daily Dish, Newtheory Magazine, and others.
