People Who Might Secretly Be In Love With You Usually Use These 11 Phrases When Talking To You
JLco Julia Amaral | Shutterstock While we often speak about love in the context of choice, the truth is that it’s a more nuanced experience than that. From hormonal changes to body language expressions, our entire being is affected when we fall in love – and we don’t always get to decide who we’re emotionally and physically attracted to. Of course, there’s always a choice to pursue certain people, craft relationships, and decide where your romantic energy leads, but sometimes, we hold onto our greatest loves in secret.
Whether they’re a co-worker or a best friend, people who might secretly be in love with you usually use these specific phrases when talking to you. Whether they realize it or not, they’re holding onto more than just appreciation or respect, but romantic love and admiration.
People who might secretly be in love with you usually use these 11 phrases when talking to you:
1. ‘You deserve better’
carballo | Shutterstock
We all have friends, peers, and family members who’ve used a phrase like “you deserve better” in the framework of relationships and romance, but sometimes, people who are secretly in love with you are also using it to try to protect you from harm.
Especially if this person has already cultivated some kind of relationship with you or imagines an idealized one where you’re romantically involved, chances are jealousy is natural. Especially if they witness you being treated poorly or tolerating disrespect, they’re going to be more likely to rely on phrases like “you deserve better” to change the narrative.
2. ‘I saw this and thought of you’
1st footage | Shutterstock
In some ways, being reminded of people and things is a natural human instinct – we’re wired to seek out shared experiences and familiarity, even when we don’t realize it. But if someone’s constantly living in your subconscious and staying top of mind for you, that could be a sign that you’re developing a deeper sense of love, admiration, and connection with them.
Whether it’s photos from social media or random trinkets, people who might be secretly in love with you usually use phrases like “I saw this and thought of you” or “this reminded me of you” to open up the door to a connection.
3. ‘I feel so comfortable around you’
PhotoSunnyDays | Shutterstock
If someone says, “I feel so comfortable around you,” or truly lets their guard down when you’re in the room, that could be a sign that they’re secretly in love with you. Even if they haven’t come to terms with it or expressed it out loud, emotional safety is one large part of our connections to others.
According to a Sleep Science journal study, that’s part of the reason we’re often sleepier around people we love – they bring a feeling of safety and comfort that breaks down our guards and allows us to fully relax.
4. ‘I just want to protect you’
Alex May Filming | Shutterstock
Sometimes, we feel an urge to protect people when we perceive them as vulnerable. Other times, our sense of obligation – like a parent to their child – influences our desire to be a “protector” against harm. However, if someone experiences a desire to protect someone that they’re secretly in love with, it might manifest in much different ways.
From being incredibly offended by their bad choices in partners to going out of their way to solve problems for them, people who might be secretly in love with you usually use phrases like “I just want to protect you” more than a peer or friend might.
5. ‘I'm just happy you're here'
Miljan Zivkovic | Shutterstock
Smiling is naturally aligned with enjoyment and attraction, but if someone’s general demeanor and mood greatly improve from the second you enter a room, there’s a chance they’re secretly in love with you. It may not even be entirely conscious, but when you’re around, they’re noticeably happier and more present.
Considering we often feel and experience love in incredibly nuanced ways, it’s difficult to point to one specific behavior as a sign of romantic love. However, in patterns and in conjunction with other behaviors, a simple smile might be more telling than it seems.
6. 'Do you like it?’
Dima Aslanian | Shutterstock
We’re often naturally wired to impress people that we admire or are attracted to, so it’s not a surprise that people who might secretly be in love with you usually use phrases like “Do you like it?” or “What do you think?” Whether it’s an effort to seek out positive attention from you or to improve their self-image in your eyes, they’re clearly interested in putting their best foot forward.
While these moments can be subtle – like showing off an outfit or sharing their creative work – it’s often tied to admiration, whether it’s rooted in romantic love and attraction or not.
7. ‘They’re just a friend’
Iryna Gyrych | Shutterstock
Someone who’s always trying to clear up misunderstandings about their romantic life or actively shows disinterest in potential partners when you’re around may be secretly in love with you. Of course, romance and attraction are nuanced, but if “they’re just a friend” is a common phrase in conversations with you, they may be leaving the door open for a reason.
Especially if they’re conflicted and confused about how to express their feelings for you directly, these passive, vague comments could be their way of showing attraction.
8. ‘I didn’t mean it like that’
Gorgev | Shutterstock
People who might be secretly in love with you usually use phrases like “I didn’t mean it like that” to cope with their fears of rejection or embarrassment. They want to be open and make nudges at their internal feelings, sometimes entirely subconsciously, but still have a protective wall up to avoid rejection.
On top of language and certain phrases, a person’s facial expressions and body language can tell you a lot about how they’re feeling inside. For example, if someone blushes when they’re around you, there’s a chance they’re more self-conscious than they’d typically be – embarrassed by certain phrases or misunderstandings that wouldn’t bother them around the average person.
9. ‘I'll always be here for you’
La Famiglia | Shutterstock
Someone who truly loves you will always be there for you – whether it’s through emotional support or simply being in the same room. They’re always available for you, no matter what.
On top of desire, we’re naturally wired for cooperation with others, especially people we love, admire, and appreciate in our lives. We want to be around them and spend time together, so, of course, people who might be secretly in love with you usually use this phrase when they’re talking to you.
10. ‘I noticed you were upset earlier’
Gorgev | Shutterstock
Someone who’s secretly in love with you is likely more attuned to your emotions and energy than anyone else in a room. They’re reading your expressions and sensing your energy, so, of course, phrases like “I noticed you were upset earlier” are common for someone who’s not only hyperaware of you but also careful about supporting you.
On top of empathy and noticing emotional shifts, someone who’s secretly attracted to you may also mirror your body language and gestures. According to psychology professor Suzanne Dugges-White, “mirroring” is often tied to empathy, but it’s also related to attraction – we mirror people we admire or love, often subconsciously, to build trust and rapport.
11. ‘I worry about you’
Vulp | Shutterstock
We’re naturally wired to worry about the people we love – it’s a pillar of our unconditional love and support for loved ones. However, there’s a difference between worrying about a friend and worrying about someone we love in a romantic way. Love changes our brains and consumes our thoughts – of course, we worry about people, even in seemingly harmless situations.
People who might secretly be in love with you usually use phrases like “I worry about you” often. They need some kind of outlet or action to make sense of and engage their loving feelings, even if it’s emotional support that they can offer to anyone, regardless of the relationship.
Zayda Slabbekoorn is a senior editorial strategist with a bachelor’s degree in social relations & policy and gender studies who focuses on psychology, relationships, self-help, and human interest stories.
