If A Woman Secretly Wants A Man, She'll Start Saying These 11 Things Casually
If a woman likes you, she'll slip certain phrases into conversation that let you know it.
Anatoliy Karlyuk / Shutterstock It's never easy to tell how someone feels about a person. Body language isn't always easy to read, and sometimes, all we have are someone's words to help guide us. That being said, if a woman secretly wants a man, she'll start saying things casually that clue him in.
Now, full disclaimer: none of these signs are 100% guaranteed. While most women who say these are at least somewhat interested, it's important to note that these phrases are subjective and can change depending on the person. Even so, if a man suspects a woman may secretly like him and wants to confirm it, her saying these 11 things may be a sign that the attraction isn't one-sided.
If a woman secretly wants a man, she'll start saying these 11 things casually
1. ‘You’re different’
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If a woman secretly wants a man, she'll start saying, "You're different." Now, she could be saying it in a friendly way. However, if she's always drawing comparisons between a man and other men, there's a good chance she's interested.
Of course, this could all be friendly banter, yet a woman who compliments a man constantly typically isn't doing it for no reason. She either truly respects a man or sees that man as a potential partner.
Either way, receiving compliments is bound to make anyone feel better about themselves. According to a study published in Personality and Social Psychology Bulletin, giving compliments makes both parties feel good as they feel more pleased and happier. So, if a woman wants to make her crush known without being too obvious, adding this phrase during a casual conversation could be a good way to express interest without saying it outright.
2. ‘I don’t usually tell people this, but…’
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It's hard to trust people nowadays. From friends betraying trust to exes blasting each other on social media, sometimes, people feel compelled to keep things to themselves. However, if a woman secretly wants a man, she'll start saying, "I don't usually tell people this, but..."
If a woman trusts a man with her secrets, there's either a really good friendship brewing or she truly likes a man. As it stands, most people hate being vulnerable and will typically avoid tough conversations at all costs. Yet, if she's willing to spill her secrets, she doesn't just see that person as another friend.
For most women, being able to open up to men takes a lot of courage, which means she feels a deeper connection with you than just acquaintances.
3. ‘What kind of women do you like?’
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While many of the phrases could be interpreted as a murky gray area, if a woman secretly wants a man, she'll definitely start saying, "What kind of girls do you like,' casually. If a man truly wants to know how a woman feels, she'll almost always reveal it by asking subtle questions. From asking about a man's ideal type to whether he's interested in someone, a woman who secretly likes a man wants to know his preferences early on.
Of course, she won't always be forthcoming with her intentions. In all honesty, she might just be scouting to see if she stands a chance. Either way, if a man is interested, this might be the perfect opportunity to show their intentions. That being said, don't be subtle about it. According to Professor of Philosophy Aaron Ben-Zeév, Ph.D., people only accurately detect flirting 28% of the time. So when push comes to shove, be upfront about your interest in her. While it might feel terrifying, it's much better to be upfront than to risk miscommunication.
4. ‘We should do that together sometime’
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When a woman is interested in a man, she's going to want to spend all her time with him. Whether it's FaceTiming at three in the morning or randomly asking him to hang out, if a woman secretly wants a man, she'll definitely start saying, "We should do that together sometime." A woman who includes a man in her future plans isn't doing so because she views him as an acquaintance.
Whether she sees him as a friend or views him as a potential partner, there's a deeper connection there that she's trying to explore. And while not knowing is definitely anxiety-inducing for a man, it's better to see where things go than jump to conclusions. After all, Rome wasn't built in a day, and sometimes, the best relationships come from getting to truly know one another before making a move.
5. ‘I was just thinking about you’
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It isn't always easy to know what a woman means when she says certain things. But unless she's declared a man her best friend, if a woman secretly wants a man, she'll definitely start saying, "I was just thinking about you." It might be forthcoming, but honesty is the best policy when pursuing a relationship with someone. As shocking as it may be for a man to hear this, it takes a lot of guts for a woman to admit you're on her mind.
Still, there's something beautiful about laying it all out in the open. As clinical psychologist Lisa Firestone, Ph.D., said, "Being able to communicate about all aspects of oneself with a partner increases the relationship's level of intimacy."
So, if a woman says this and a man wants to make his interest known, try responding with, "That's funny, because I've also been thinking about you too." Not only does this give her the green light, but it also helps deepen the feeling of closeness in their dynamic.
6. ‘I wish you were here’
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If a woman wants a man, she might start saying, "I wish you were here." Unless they're best friends with a man, most women won't say this phrase unless they feel a romantic spark with someone. As most people know, words are powerful, which is why many women tend to be choosy with their words. After all, most women have faced the unwanted advancement of a man and, as a result, have chosen to distance themselves completely.
So, if she's expressing a genuine desire to hang out and be near you, trust that what she feels is deeper than surface level. Even so, don't try to rush the relationship. While it's tempting to get overly excited, remember to keep the pace. Simply responding with, "I wish we could spend time together too," is sufficient. Not only does it show interest, but the rephrasing of this phrase keeps things respectful.
7. ‘You always look good’
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Now, most of the time, it's not good to jump to conclusions about whether a woman is interested or not. However, if a woman wants a man, she'll definitely start by saying, "You always look good." Most women might compliment a man once or twice and say, "You look nice today." But there's a huge difference between saying that versus uttering the phrase, "You always look good."
If a woman truly wants a man, she'll make it known she's attracted to him without a doubt. Yet, this isn't that shocking, as according to a study published in Judgment and Decision Making, women tend to be more honest than men. Researchers found that men were more prone to tell both black and white lies. So, if a man is wondering if she's playing with his feelings, it's best to believe her when a woman tells him she finds him attractive.
8. ‘When are we hanging out again?’
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Without a second thought, most people who are interested in someone will always want to spend time together. From simple tasks to inviting them to hang out with their friends, if a woman secretly wants a man, she'll start by casually saying, "When are we hanging out again?". She isn't trying to come off as desperate, but spending time together gives her a dopamine hit she can't help but miss.
Maybe it's a man's sense of humor that's got her stuck. Either way, she'll make it clear that his presence is welcome. And while she may not be ready to make a move or tell a man how she truly feels, at the bare minimum, she'll make an effort to spend quality time together so she can deepen the relationship.
9. ‘Why are you single?’
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When a woman finds a man to be nearly perfect, she’ll make her disbelief well known. Whether it’s to her face or to her friends, if a woman secretly wants a man, she’ll start by casually asking, “Why are you single?”
She isn’t trying to be rude, but men who are intelligent, funny, and a complete gentleman are hard to come by. As most people know, dating is becoming increasingly harder, especially for the newer generations. Whether it’s because of technology or COVID, there’s a huge disconnect that most women feel towards men. This can explain why, according to research by Morgan Stanley, by 2030, 45% of working women between the ages of 25 to 44 in the United States will be single.
So, if a woman is questioning why a man is single, she’s either trying to set him up with herself or is secretly plotting to set him up with a friend. Either way, it’s a win for most men to hear this phrase.
10. ‘Your future wife is so lucky’
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There aren’t many concrete ways to tell if a woman is truly interested or not; however, if a woman secretly wants a man, she’ll start by saying, Your future wife is so lucky.” Most women who say this aren’t saying it to be cute or sweet.
Sure, it might sound like she’s being nonchalant, but if a woman is saying this more than once, there’s a good chance that she’s secretly interested in him. Whether she’s fantasizing about a future with him or trying to gauge if he’s single, count this as another sign that a woman might secretly want a man.
11. ‘Stop making me smile!’
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Finally, if a woman secretly wants a man, she’ll start by saying, “Stop making me smile.” A woman isn’t going to smile at just any man. In a world that’s becoming increasingly more dangerous, women are always on high alert. This is why many women have pepper spray or self-defense tools on their keychain, and why they don’t talk to most men when they’re out.
According to Professor and head of the sociology department at Mississippi State University, Nicole Rader, Ph.D., “Women's fear of crime is learned through the social learning process and passed down through families.”
So, if a woman is smiling brightly at a man and has her guard down, it’s either that she views a man as a friend or that she truly feels safe and is romantically interested in him.
Marielisa Reyes is a writer with a bachelor's degree in psychology who covers self-help, relationships, career, family, and astrology topics.
