13 Signs She's Not 'Just A Friend'

Does your boyfriend have a friend who's a girl that's a little too close with him?

woman talking to a man at a coffee shop PeopleImages.com - Yuri A/ Shutterstock

I want to start this off by saying that men and women can definitely be platonic friends, and some of my best friends are men who I’ve never slept with. However, this article isn’t about platonic friends. It’s about the kind of female friends who could pose a legitimate threat to your relationship.

These female “friends” aren’t actually friends, per se. They’re women who want to sleep with your partner or are already sleeping with him behind your back. At times, they are aware that he’s taken and just don’t care about how much it hurts you to know that. Other times, though, they could be totally unaware that the guy you’re with is even dating someone.


Regardless of whether they know or not, women who fit into this category are an issue that you need to broach with your partner. It takes two to tango, so it’s your partner’s responsibility to make sure that you feel secure with him and that he’s loyal to the one he’s supposed to be with.

So, is she more than a friend? Should you notice any of these signs, you may have to have a talk with your man.

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Here are 13 signs she's not 'just a friend:'

1. She flirts with him

The vast majority of girls know when other women are acting inappropriately with a guy. If she’s flirting and talking about sex with him, she’s crossing a line that shouldn’t be crossed... and he’s letting that happen. Nip that in the bud.

2. He puts her needs over yours

There’s a difference between "homies over h*es" and putting special attention on one friend over your spouse. If he consistently chooses her over you or doesn’t seem to care how uncomfortable you are with her, there’s a very good chance that she’s not “just a friend.”

3. He never mentioned her but hung out with her behind your back

If warning bells could sound when relationships have serious issues, this would be the point where you’d hear the klaxons. If she’s really “just a friend,” why is he so secretive about her?

4. You never get to meet her, even though your boyfriend constantly talks to her

A man who really is proud to be dating you will want to flaunt you to all of his friends, male and female. Guys who are cheating or attracted to another woman, though, will do what they can to keep their main chick and potential side chick separated at all times. After all, guys know that women tend to pick up sexual vibes between people pretty easily, and they know what that could mean for their relationship with you.


5. She makes a point of avoiding you

Most of the time, female friends of significant others will want to make friends with the girlfriend because they want their friend to be happy. If she’s avoiding you, you should wonder why she does this. Is it shame? Or, is it because your partner has asked her to stay away?

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6. She’s sent him nudes

Aw, hell no! Since when do friends send nudes to one another? They don’t. He’s cheating if this happened to you, so dump his a**.

7. When news breaks, you’re almost certain he tells her before he tells you

In a typical happy relationship, your significant other is the person you’ll run to when you have good news. This is why a guy choosing a female “friend” as a confidant over their partner is so commonly indicative of an emotional affair.


8. He spends more time with her than with you or does date-like, one-on-one activities with her

Both of these things are indicators that he wants to be romantically involved with her, at the very least. Should this happen to you, you should be aware that there’s most likely an emotional affair going on.

9. People have asked you if you’re really okay with the relationship he has with her

Most people will stay quiet unless they’re very sure that they aren’t being unreasonable to you. If you have people approaching you about a girl’s role in your partner’s life, you should be worried.

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10. If the three of you hang out, you feel like a third wheel

This is never a good sign and may signal that he has a better connection with her than you. If your partner actually butts you out of the conversation, then you probably need to reevaluate your relationship.


11. She acts like a jealous girlfriend

This is a sign that, at the very least, she’s got the hots for him. If he doesn’t put the kibosh on her behavior, it’s likely that he’s enjoying the flattery a little bit too much for the good of the relationship.

12. She’s all he ever talks about

Sure, we do have good friends that we like to brag about, but generally, the only person that we ever talk about nonstop is someone we’re sexually interested in. A man who won’t stop gabbing about a woman to his girlfriend may have some feelings for both.

13. You’re getting increasingly certain that he’d pick her over you

At this point, you may need to just break up with him.


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Ossiana Tepfenhart is a writer whose work has been featured in Yahoo, BRIDES, Your Daily Dish, New Theory Magazine, and others.