People Who Keep Their Hearts Soft Even When Life Isn’t Usually Have These 10 Rare Personality Traits
Mert Coşkun | Pexels People who keep their hearts soft even when life isn't seem to be tougher than most. Meanwhile, others struggle with change, loss, and difficult circumstances. They lose their mind, become paralyzed, or sink into anxiety or depression — they are less resilient. Recently, resilience has become a hot topic as a key differentiator for happiness and success. Studies found that people with greater resilience report higher levels of happiness and flourishing in their lives.
In essence, resilience is the ability to push through with optimism and trust that you can overcome difficulties, and the universe has your back. If you're resilient, you learn and grow from every experience, ultimately becoming stronger as a result. When you're resilient, you choose your actions — you respond. When you lack resilience, you give up your control — you react.
The good news is that even if you don't have these personality traits by nature, resilience can be learned. And just like you exercise your body, you can strengthen your resilience muscle every day. When you build your resilience, you increase your capacity to deal with anything that comes your way — like a debilitating illness, a loss, a struggling relationship, or a financial setback.
And on a smaller scale, resilience will help you cope with everyday demands like a kitchen disaster, a toddler's meltdown, an angry customer, or your internet going down again, so you never have to lose your cool. If you're going through hard times, take heart. You already have what it takes — your resilience just needs to be nurtured.
People who keep their hearts soft even when life isn’t usually have these 10 rare personality traits:
1. They're mindful
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A mindful life is a resilient one. Set aside time every day to be still, breathe deeply, and let your thoughts come and go without judgment. You can't change what happens to you, but you can press the pause button just for a few moments, look at your situation with fresh eyes, and regroup. Then, you can respond in a calm and centered way.
2. They don't ignore their own limits
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You can't be your best if you don't invest time in yourself. Engage in restorative activities such as walks in nature, massages, and most of all, adequate sleep. Be physically, mentally, emotionally, and spiritually ready for whatever comes your way. Research found that resilience is positively linked to self-care in people dealing with difficult circumstances. The study showed that resilience helps buffer against daily challenges and plays an important role in maintaining both physical and emotional well-being.
3. They're naturally resourceful
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As American entreprenuer and motivational speaker Marie Forleo says, "Everything is figureoutable." Before you decide on a course of action, try to brainstorm options and explore the possibilities. Avoid old patterns that have not served you. Stretch your mind. Ask, "What else could I do?" Then, break actions down into manageable steps. You'll see that where there's a will, there's a way.
4. They focus on what they can control
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If there is one thing you can control, it's your thoughts. Start by replacing negative thoughts with more realistic ones. Sometimes, you have to say, "It is what it is," and keep moving forward without trying to change things. Having an internal locus of control acts like a buffer against stress, research has found. People who believe they have control over their responses to challenges are more resilient and experience better physical and mental health than those who feel controlled by external circumstances.
5. They're open-minded
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People who keep their hearts soft even when life isn't take every opportunity to learn. They take classes, read books, and soak up information like a sponge. The more you support your personal growth, the more you’ll see possibilities all around you. Research found that having a growth mindset increases resilience and helps people bounce back from failures more effectively. People who believe their abilities can be developed through learning are more likely to persist through obstacles and keep going when things get tough.
6. They see the silver lining
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Sometimes you have to hit rock bottom to rise. Resilient people reflect on their ups and downs and see the lesson in the chaos. They have no regrets, only hopes for the future. Resilient individuals are better at learning from life's setbacks and using that knowledge to cope more effectively, according to research. People who can find positive meaning in difficult situations are more likely to maintain their well-being and bounce back from challenges.
7. They ask for help
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Resilient people know that they don't have to hold the world on their shoulders. There are times to stand tall, and there are times when helping yourself means getting help from someone else. When you have a healthy support system, you can accomplish much more and feel good at the same time. Positive social support helps protect against trauma-related mental health conditions. Having quality social relationships significantly improves how people handle adversity and maintain better mental health during difficult times, studies have found.
8. They're grateful
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When you regularly give thanks for what you have, you understand that abundance comes in many forms. Resilient people do things like keep a gratitude journal and send thank-you notes. Even during hard times, there is pleasure in the smallest of things. People with a stronger grateful mindset experienced less severe increases in anxiety and depression symptoms during the COVID-19 pandemic, one study revealed. Gratitude not only helps lessen mental health struggles but also fosters positivity even during prolonged periods of stress.
9. They live with purpose
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Having a sense of direction as you go about your life is one of the cornerstones of resilience. When you know where you're going and see the bigger picture — as resilient people do, you won't be deterred by setbacks along the journey. Having a sense of purpose in life enhances emotional resilience and helps people recover more quickly from negative events. Those with a clear sense of purpose experience lower levels of depression and anxiety and handle daily challenges way more effectively, according to research.
10. They persevere, no matter what
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Resilient people stick to their mission. If you feel discouraged, use these affirmations and dust yourself off:
- "I am not giving up!"
- "I can overcome this."
- "I’m bigger than this."
- "I am resilient."
When you're feeling overwhelmed, try some of these strategies that resilient people use. And while you're going about your day or facing a crisis, remember that building grit takes time. You're going to have off days and imperfect responses simply because you’re human. Don't give up. Brighter days are ahead.
Lisa Petsinis is an ICF-credentialed life and career transition coach. Her bylines have appeared on Psych Central, The Good Men Project, Parade, Prevention, The Minds Journal, PopSugar, and All4Women, as well as many others.
