If A Man Does These 12 Things, He'll Likely Be A Truly Terrible Husband
MAYA LAB | Shutterstock When people think about the type of partner they want, they likely want someone who is honest, trustworthy, loyal, and supportive. For men, in particular, finding a mate seems to have become harder over the years. In fact, a report by Pew Research Center found that 51% of men under 30 were increasingly likely to be single.
Though men are facing a loneliness epidemic, his behaviors can indicate whether or not his relationship will last. Because whether it's being childish or having a tendency to lie, if a man does these things, he'll likely be a truly terrible husband. And women who observe these behaviors should take note, as they indicate a relationship that can become unfulfilling and unhappy.
If a man does these 12 things, he'll likely be a truly terrible husband
1. He doesn't want to ever grow up
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Some men don't want to grow up and have Peter Pan syndrome. They're incredibly immature, avoiding the responsibilities that come with being an adult. But if a person wants a relationship, they should, of course, be mature enough for it.
An important part of relationships is the ability to step up. But men who can't or refuse to do so risk overwhelming and undermining their partner. Additionally, men who believe that vulnerability is a sign of weakness tend to not be serious about real issues in their relationship.
Immature men who can't be bothered to make an effort to express themselves end up causing irreversible harm to their partner. So, women should do their best to avoid them.
2. He thinks the world revolves around him
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Whether it's prioritizing his own needs over his partner's or making choices that only benefit him, if a man does these things, he'll likely be a truly terrible husband. Selfish men don't know how to give and take in a relationship, leaving their partner frustrated.
They don't fully appreciate their partner's sacrifices, and really only pay attention to the small amount of effort they put into the partnership. They are full of themselves, have a huge ego, and think their effort is just the way things should be.
This arrogance doesn't lead to a sustained, long-lasting relationship; rather, it creates an uneven partnership where one partner's needs don't matter. Not only that, but a one-sided relationship can affect a person's physical and emotional well-being, adding to stress and poor sleep habits.
3. He doesn't take accountability
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Men who make truly terrible husbands never take responsibility for their actions, even when they're at fault. They can't be bothered to admit their wrong-doings, and instead spend their time blaming their partner. They lack the ability to self-reflect, even though self-reflection is a key component needed to grow as an individual and strengthen relationships.
Men avoid self-reflection if it means keeping their ego intact. This can create division and anxiety in a relationship, as their partner wonders what they're doing wrong. They spend so much time focused on being perfect that they eventually neglect their own needs, turning a beautiful relationship into a disaster.
4. He glorifies jealousy
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Men who will likely be terrible husbands tend to convince women that being jealous is a sign of love. While it's human nature to be jealous at times, too much jealousy is toxic. Unable to confront problems head-on, men like this resort to possessive and overly controlling behavior to protect their relationship, not realizing that the relationship they're trying so hard to protect is unhealthy.
According to a 2021 study, people who have higher levels of emotional dependency have more jealous reactions. Additionally, having high dependence is a precursor of intimate partner violence. Women should be wary of men who use jealousy to get what they want, as it can quickly devolve into something more sinister.
5. He refuses to set boundaries
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Setting boundaries is essential in telling people, especially someone you're involved with romantically, what is and isn't okay in a relationship. Unfortunately, men who won't set those boundaries do so to avoid uncomfortable conversations and shirk their responsibility to their partner.
Men who struggle to set boundaries risk losing their relationship, as their partner is sure to become fed up with the constant arguing and inconsistency. These men need to hold themselves accountable and find ways to implement small boundaries. Otherwise, they may end up lonely, repeating the same cycle from their previous relationships.
6. He's constantly moody
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While moodiness can be a sign of a mental health condition, for men who have this specific behavior in their relationships, it can be frustrating to their partner. They don't know what they want, confusing their partner and making them walk on eggshells constantly. They act "hot and cold," wanting commitment one minute, but feeling unsure the next.
Research published in Personality and Social Psychology Bulletin found that unstable, fluctuating relationships lead to a decrease in relationship confidence, life satisfaction, well-being, and an increase in psychological distress. For women dealing with this behavior, it's probably best to distance themselves from the relationship altogether.
7. He frequently breaks promises
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Whether it's planning a date night and then canceling or never following through on the chores he said he'd finish, if a man does these things, he'll likely be a truly terrible husband. It shows their partner that they can't be bothered to offer emotional support or keep promises for anything.
Women tend to feel let down all the time by this behavior, causing issues and creating doubt in their relationship. They may also feel betrayed. And according to a study published in Behavior Research and Therapy, the effects of betrayal can lead to shock, loss, grief, anger, second-guessing, and damaged self-esteem.
8. He lies compulsively
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It's actually good for people to lie sometimes, like when their friend cooks a meal that doesn't taste good or their family wants input on their new home decor. But men who constantly lie to the point where it becomes compulsive end up damaging the trust in their relationship.
These men may do their best to move forward afterwards, but don't see a need to change their ways. As a compulsive liar, they tend to have low self-esteem. Women ought to be on high alert around men who lie constantly, as they make terrible husbands down the line.
9. He's overly flirtatious with other women
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Whether it's at a party or even an important work event, men who will be truly terrible husbands don't know how to keep their flirtatious behavior in check and often cross boundaries. They may become touchy-feely and ignore their partner in favor of giving undivided attention to someone else. They may even physically cheat.
These men don't understand nor care how their actions make their partner feel. They're self-absorbed, care only about what they want, and perhaps don't always realize that their behavior causes irreversible damage.
Research published in Personal Relationships found that partners who flirted with other people online experienced a shift in thinking. Researchers determined that flirting outside of a relationship causes people to judge their partner more negatively and as less attractive.
10. He can't control his temper
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Instead of being a grown-up and taking accountability, men who can't control their temper tend to become easily irritated by every little thing, pinning the blame on their partner at times. They may scream or accuse their partner of purposely triggering them, while secretly being gleeful that they have a justifiable reason to explode.
Constantly channeling their anger to their partner will only result in fear. Additionally, research published in Emotion found that partners who have self-reported anger have an increased risk of intimate partner aggression. And partners are increasingly likely to engage in aggressive behavior.
11. He's apathetic
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While there's nothing wrong with being low-key and relaxed, as life requires us to take some time to ourselves every now and then, apathy is a recipe for disaster in a relationship. For men who will likely be terrible husbands, they don't quite understand the value of showing up in their relationship. Dressing in sweatpants every day, not planning dates, and not taking the initiative to tackle household chores are all examples of apathy.
Women want to feel like the men they love are still trying and still care, no matter how long they have been together. They want to feel important, but when they're with apathetic men, it hurts the relationship. Men who act like this don't feel the need to put effort into the relationship, plain and simple.
12. He can't keep a secret
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Trust is the foundation of healthy relationships. Unfortunately, men like this prefer gossiping over reliability, frequently breaking their partner's trust for their own benefit. They may discuss their partner's business with others, not seeing it as a big deal. Or, they might even accuse their partner of taking things too far when they call them out on their sneaky behavior.
Partners need to be able to rely on each other. A woman's partner, in particular, should be her number one supporter, meaning he would never reveal any of her private information to other people unless she allowed it. Unfortunately, in a case like this, him revealing any of her secrets can demolish her trust almost immediately.
Marielisa Reyes is a writer with a bachelor's in psychology who covers self-help, relationships, career, and family topics.
