Husbands Who Say These 11 Phrases To Their Wives Fell Out Of Love A Long Time Ago
MDV Edwards | Shutterstock In marriage, it's not always easy to tell how your partner is really feeling. A husband doesn't always come right out and say he's unhappy or disconnected. Instead, his feelings often show up in smaller ways, like avoidance, silence, or the things he casually says during daily conversations.
That's why husbands who say these phrases to their wives often fell out of love a long time ago. These comments aren't usually said in the heat of one bad argument. Instead, they tend to come from built-up resentment or emotional exhaustion, often accompanied by a decision to stop trying. If you hear these phrases, they can be signs that your husband emotionally checked out long before anyone openly talked about it.
Husbands who say these 11 phrases to their wives who fell out of love a long time ago:
1. 'You're overreacting again'
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When a husband constantly dismisses his wife’s feelings, it usually means he’s stopped caring enough to understand them. Love doesn’t mock or minimize emotions; it tries to listen, even when it’s uncomfortable. Husbands who say, "You're overreacting again," to their wives have fallen out of love a long time ago. At some point, they loved their wives and did everything in their power to keep the marriage going. From spending hours comforting her to doing their best to understand her, good men never dismissed their feelings. However, as time passed, resentment slowly took its place, causing passive-aggressive comments like this to be uttered.
Is it fair? Of course not. Deep down inside, men know they need to do a better job at communicating. However, when they feel like their emotions are going to be shut down regardless, it makes them less eager to try. As psychotherapist Moshe Ratson, MBA, MFT, said, "Dismissing emotions erodes trust and damages relationships." This is why both parties must create a safe space where they feel comfortable expressing their feelings to one another; otherwise, their marriage might just end in disaster.
2. 'I don't care anymore'
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At some point, he cared a great deal about his marriage. Showing up for his wife, he did his best to be there every step of the way. Yet, for one reason or another, the love they had for one another has eroded over time, which is why husbands who say the phrase, "I don't care anymore," to their wives fell out of love a long time ago. It's hurtful to hear, but some men who utter this phrase do so because they also feel like their wives don't care.
Whether it's wives talking over their husbands' feelings or dismissing them entirely, a husband has learned to shut down his emotions completely. And while it's up to him to voice his concerns, if he's tried only to be met with indifference, expect him to turn a bit bitter over time.
3. 'Do whatever you want'
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A man who's truly in love with his wife is always going to care about her. Whether it's what she's up to or how she's feeling, a man in love will always check in. However, husbands who say the phrase, "Do whatever you want," to their wives likely fell out of love a long time ago. On the surface, a woman might take this as a good thing. Wanting freedom and independence, a man who doesn't restrict them sounds fairly good on paper.
Even so, there's a difference between not caring and respecting autonomy. Not only that, but jealousy and concern are normal aspects in every relationship. As educator and social science researcher Karla McLaren, M.Ed., added, "Jealousy can help you identify, choose, and nurture healthy intimate relationships." So, if he's always chill and never seems to care, don't always take it as a good thing. A man who isn't the least bit interested in what you're doing likely doesn't love you as much as you think.
4. 'Why do we always have to escalate things?'
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Nobody wants to argue with their partner; however, it's pretty inevitable. From small spats about laundry to bigger arguments about money, husbands who say the phrase, "Why do we always have to escalate things," to their wives fell out of love a long time ago. It's not that they want to end their marriage. However, constantly needing to be on guard and watch themselves has pushed them over the edge.
It sucks, but it's like every single one of their actions needs to be highly scrutinized. Over time, this can lead him to pull away, as he doesn't want to send his wife over the edge accidentally. So, if a husband is saying this, always take a break. In the moment, it might seem like she's in the right; however, the more distance people have, the more time they have to think and come to a fairer conclusion.
5. 'I'm tired of arguing with you'
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Let's face it, nobody wants to go back and forth with anyone. Whether it's a family member, partner, or coworker, arguing in any capacity can be pretty exhausting. This is why husbands who say the phrase, "I'm tired of arguing with you," to their wives fell out of love a long time ago. Now, don't get it twisted, arguing sometimes can be a good thing. While it may be uncomfortable, conflict can be used as a tool for growth.
Even so, too much conflict isn't always a good thing. As Professor Emeritus of Psychology, John A. Johnson, Ph.D., said, "Arguments damage relationships because they attempt to force others to support your goals without considering their interests." So, if a husband is always saying this, be careful. While it's great to make your point clear, too much arguing can lead to devastating consequences in the long run.
6. 'That's just how I am'
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Everyone has their own personality that's pretty much unchangeable. From being highly stubborn to being a class clown, everyone has a trait about them that's hard to quit. Even so, some partners attempt to change their husband or wife completely. Whether it's making them do things a certain way or act a certain way, some people are never satisfied with their partner in their marriage.
And while some change is always a good thing, forcing them to change entirely who they are is fairly hurtful. Not only is it disrespectful, but it tells them how little they're loved and valued. Over time, this can lead to more tension in their marriage, which is why husbands who say the phrase, "That's just how I am," to their wives fell out of love a long time ago.
7. 'You always do this'
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Once a woman is done with her husband, she'll bring up every little thing he's ever done wrong in their entire relationship. In the beginning, a man might do his best to make things right and understand where she's coming from. However, the more she does this, the less in love he feels. This is why husbands who say the phrase, "You always do this," to their wives fell out of love a long time ago.
Focusing on the past might be good in some cases, but not in all. As psychologist Jeffrey Bernstein, Ph.D., explained, "No one wants to feel like they’re constantly on trial in their own relationship." This is why men and women must seek professional counseling. If a woman simply can't get over the past, finding a therapist who can guide her is the best decision she could probably make for herself and her marriage.
8. 'Can we not talk about this right now?'
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There's a time and place for everything. Whether it's discussions or arguments, every single moment has its best time and place to unravel. Unfortunately, not all people believe in this. From arguing at restaurants to discussing personal matters in front of family, some people genuinely don't care. Over time, this can lead to burnout, which is why husbands who say, "Can we not talk about this right now," to their wives have fallen out of love a long time ago.
Sorry, but there's only so much a man can take. If a wife has been pushing his boundaries and embarrassing him in public or arguing with him constantly, he's bound to fall out of love. So, even if it's frustrating to hear, give him some space. It isn't avoidant; rather, he needs time to recover before having the mental capacity to argue once again.
9. 'I don't have the energy for this anymore'
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A man whose truly in love with his wife will fight to the ends of the earth to make his marriage work. It doesn't matter how long it takes. When she shows up for him, he shows up for her. That being said, husbands who say the phrase, "I don't have the energy for this anymore, to their wives fell out of love a long time ago. Once again, there's only so much negative energy they can take.
It isn't her fault for feeling the way she feels, but repeating herself over and over again isn't helping. At some point, he stops listening as contempt slowly begins to build. This isn't good, as according to the Gottman Institute, contempt is the number one predictor of divorce. This is why women should stop and consider what it is they truly want. If the goal is to divorce, do it. If she wants to fight for her marriage, consider alternative options like therapy. However, staying stuck in a cycle of negativity isn't doing anyone any favors.
10. 'Here we go again'
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It's okay for women to express themselves and their pain. Whether it's pain in the past or the current hurt they're experiencing, getting it off their chest is something they should never be shamed for. Even so, at some point, women need to find a way to heal from it and keep moving forward. While it isn't easy, marriage was never supposed to be easy. And while some people know this, others can't quite let things go, which is why husbands say the phrase, "here we go again," when they fell out of love.
They want to be there for their wives; however, the constant berating and hurtful comments have left a scar. This is why some men grow to be dismissive. While it isn't kind, their frustration is something they haven't learned to deal with yet.
11. 'You're impossible to please'
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Finally, husbands who say the phrase, "You're impossible to please," to their wives fell out of love a long time ago. A man will do everything in his power to please his wife if he truly loves her. Whether it's getting her flowers once a week or taking her on her dream vacation, a man in love will do anything to see a smile on her face. This isn't a bad thing, as social psychologist Theresa E. DiDonato, Ph.D., pointed out, "Not only does being needed help define your role in a relationship, but being needed can also influence how satisfied you feel in a relationship."
Even so, there comes a point where a person's demands become too much, to the point where a man feels like he can never do anything right. Due to this, he slowly pulls away until he finds himself completely fallen out of love with her. This is why it's crucial to uplift your husband and to show appreciation if he's truly showing up for you. While it sounds small, genuine appreciation matters more than people may think.
Marielisa Reyes is a writer with a bachelor's degree in psychology who covers self-help, relationships, career, and family topics.
