If A Man Starts Changing These 11 Everyday Behaviors, He's Likely Not Taking Care Of Himself
Marcos Paulo Prado | Unsplash It can be frustrating when you care about a man who doesn't seem to be pulling his weight. Sometimes this is a sign he's not taking care of himself, not just the relationship or friendship, and it's worth offering support.
According to a report from the AAMC organization, "Physicians often fail to treat men’s mental health issues effectively," and thus men may struggle to name and address mental health issues, or even just standard sadness or a slump. It's easy for someone to think the man is irresponsible and lazy, but sometimes the inability to do basic things is a sign he's not taking care of himself, either.
If a man starts changing these 11 everyday behaviors, he's likely not taking care of himself
1. He's neglecting his personal hygiene
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One sign a man isn't taking good care of himself is if he neglects personal hygiene. Maybe he's not showering on a daily basis or hasn't washed his hair in weeks. Either way, it's not a good sign.
According to registered nurse Ivory Smith, indifference to showering, combing hair, or keeping up with hygiene is typically a sign of poor mental health. Being unable to stay on top of basic hygienic practices could lead to avoidant behaviors or feelings of shame and guilt.
If you're in a relationship with a man who is experiencing this, it's important to support him by encouraging good hygiene. Smith suggests implementing agreements, using disposable bathing wipes, and splurging on products, which might make showering easier .
2. He makes poor nutritional choices
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Though there's nothing wrong with eating junk food every now and then, not balancing it out with good, nutritious food is concerning and often indicates a man isn't taking good care of himself. This is especially true if he is usually health-oriented.
Unfortunately, a study published in PLOS One found that high saturated fat intake led to high levels of bad cholesterol in the blood. When this occurs, it can cause heart disease in young people. Your partner's health is the most important thing in his life, so it's best to convince him of this truth.
He needs to put his health first by switching his diet to more nutritious foods, meal prepping, or even learning a quick and healthy recipe.
If your partner doesn't have the energy to do this, there are plenty of foods that boost energy, but you may also consider helping him. Spending time together cooking ensures you're not doing the bulk of the labor and is another way to incorporate quality time together.
3. He stopped exercising
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Many people don't exactly make time for exercise, but if a man benefits from working out and enjoys it, it can be a bad sign if the stops. Between work, family, home chores, or taking classes, staying consistent is difficult. However, never being active and always lazing around could indicate a mental health issue.
Research published in the journal Scientific Reports found that sedentary behavior exceeding 600 minutes per day was highly associated with depression. This, in turn, can make it even harder for your partner to care for himself.
Encourage him to stay active during low moments. Offer to go for a quick walk with him to move his body, even if it's just for 10 minutes. It could be the difference between poor health and improved well-being.
4. His sleep schedule is irregular
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An irregular sleep schedule can be a big sign a man isn't taking good care of himself. He may toss and turn all night long, waking up the next day exhausted. Unfortunately, this can lead to poor academic or work performance if he doesn't have the energy to perform his daily tasks.
During moments like these, set an example. If you're going to sleep late, you can't expect your partner to sleep early. This is where good sleep hygiene can help.
According to the Sleep Foundation, sleep hygiene is the healthy habits and environmental factors in people's lives that impact their sleep quality. For better sleep hygiene, the Sleep Foundation recommends getting daily sunlight, refraining from smoking, keeping a consistent routine, and using your bed only for sleep. By getting into a routine, you'll find that your partner is increasingly willing to do the same.
5. He doesn't socialize with others
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Even if a man is an introvert, not socializing or participating in social activities is a bad sign. If his friends call asking to hang out, he might flake at the last minute or never text back. And constantly staying indoors might lead to isolation, which could cause further problems down the road.
According to a meta-analysis reported in Perspectives in Psychological Science, isolation leads to an increased risk of mortality. Men today also are experiencing a mental health epidemic, further showing just how important it is for your partner to be out in the world.
While throwing a man into a big party certainly won't help, encouraging them to accompany you out is a good place to start. You can go out to eat, go grocery shopping, or even take a nice stroll. Slowly find ways to get him out of the house, and as he grows used to it, he will find it easier to accept invitations and be more active.
6. He neglects his responsibilities
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It's a concerning thing if a man starts neglecting his responsibilities, and it can be a big sign he's not taking care of himself. Things like cleaning, going to work, and paying bills on time are all non-negotiables. Unfortunately, when he isn't taking good care of himself, your partner may be suffering from some kind of mental health condition, especially if they find it difficult to even get out of bed in the morning.
If a man is neglecting his responsibilities, try to find ways to make his everyday grind enjoyable. For instance, he might have to get up in the morning but at least he has his favorite breakfast to look forward to. Or, he needs to go to work, but has plans with you to look forward to after hours.
Finding ways to make these daily experiences enjoyable can help instill gratitude and positivity into your partner's life. And that makes it easier for him to take care of himself.
7. His mood is changing
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In life, we all have good days and bad. But if a man isn't taking good care of himself, he may be hot and cold on a daily basis. He might snap at you, cause issues at work, or get into altercations with complete strangers. It indicates a potential anger problem or mental condition.
According to research reported in Frontiers in Psychiatry, people who exhibit intense emotions constantly are increasingly likely to have depression than people who are simply sad. This finding shows the importance of getting your partner the help he needs; otherwise, his mood swings can impact his well-being and your relationship.
8. His surroundings are messy
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Though it's normal for rooms to get messy, if a man refuses to clean his room or keep the house tidy, he might not be taking very good care of himself. More than likely it can be an indicator that he's suffering from depression. This is especially true if he's generally tidy or organized and the mess is out of character for him.
Though it might be a pain, it's important to remain positive during this period. Finding ways to make cleaning fun is a great place to start. For instance, offering to clean together while listening to music or watching his favorite show is encouraging. Cleaning in bursts is also a good way to get him into the habit. Maybe it's cleaning for 30 minutes at a time instead of spending the whole day tidying up.
It might take a while, but slowly the movement and patterns could help him get back into a routine and feeling better about himself. Just be patient and understanding as he relearns how to take good care of himself.
9. He's on his phone constantly
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It might frustrate you to see a man you wanted to spend time with on his phone all the time. It may even make you feel disrespected or unappreciated. But it may be a sign he's not taking care of himself.
He may be using his phone to avoid reality. He could feel stuck in life, and scrolls through his social media feeds to escape the complicated emotions swirling around inside of him. According to research, taking even a short break from your phone can help boost your mood, even if it's not getting in the way of your life or ability to take care of yourself.
If this man is your partner, pull him aside discuss your concerns with him. Agree on a time when phones are off-limits. Perhaps it's when you're cooking dinner together or are spending quality time on the sofa. During no phone time, reconnect with your partner. It's a great way to help him get back on track.
10. He's given up on his hobbies
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Hobbies are a great way for someone to express and ground themselves. But if your partner has given up on his hobbies or lost interest in them altogether, it's a sign he isn't taking good care of himself.
According to a study published in European Child & Adolescent Psychiatry, losing interest in hobbies is a sign that someone is severely depressed. Known as anhedonia, this is when someone loses interest and pleasure in everything. But the symptoms don't stop there; researchers found that this extends to loss of motivation and sense of connection.
If this is the case with your partner, it's a good idea to seek a professional opinion for help. There isn't much you can do if your partner has reached this stage aside from bringing in professional help. But you can help by staying positive and encouraging him along the way.
11. He stopped grooming is beard or mustache
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This may seem silly, but most men with facial hair take time to groom it. They may trim it to a certain length, shave around the edges to keep it looking tidy and contained, and even condition it. If you're a woman reading this, it's likely you don't even realize how much care goes into a great beard, mustache or goatee.
But when a man's not taking care of himself, you'll probably see it in his beard first. Stubble appears on his neck or near his ears, and it no longer looks tidy. If he has a mustache, it might start curling over his top lip, which can get gross when he eats.
So if you want to know if a man has stopped taking care of himself, look to his facial hair. It's likely the first place you'll notice he's not doing OK and could use some support.
Marielisa Reyes is a writer with a bachelor's in psychology who covers self-help, relationships, career, family, and astrology topics.
