If Your Husband Has These 11 Habits, He's Likely Not Very Happy In Your Marriage
PeopleImages | Shutterstock The beginning of marriage is filled with wide-eyed eagerness and hope for a happy future together. Choosing to commit to one another forever means putting in daily work to make it happen. Unfortunately, over time, things can sour, and one or both partners may grow resentful and unhappy. For men, in particular, whether it's intentionally spending time apart or being extremely critical, if your husband has these habits, he's likely not very happy in your marriage.
Once upon a time, he may have put his all into the marriage and focused on keeping you content. From buying you flowers for no reason to always helping out with household chores, he made sure he did his part. But as his dissatisfaction grew, his effort began to wane, and you likely have found yourself in a place where you now feel unloved.
If your husband has these 11 habits, he's likely not very happy in your marriage
1. He stops initiating conversations
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Whether it's long, late-night conversations or quick morning chats before work, a man who's in love is more than happy to initiate conversations with his wife. However, if he's avoiding his wife and refusing to speak with her, there's something terribly wrong with the marriage.
It's a husband's responsibility to be upfront and honest with his spouse. If there's something that's truly causing a rift, finding a way to compromise is crucial. As psychologist Mark Travers said, "Healthy compromise requires both people to feel heard — not just spoken to but truly listened to with empathy and validation. This can only happen if both partners create the emotional space for the other to express their thoughts without interruption."
2. He leaves the house early and comes home late
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If your husband leaves early and comes home late, he's likely not very happy in your marriage. Partners who truly love one another don't mind spending time with each other. They might linger during breakfast or try to get out of work early to be together. Unfortunately, although he may love his wife, tensions have been high at home and he doesn't want to be there.
From constant arguments to nitpicking, he's had enough of the back and forth. Rather than trying to work things out, he's resorted to staying out late and avoiding his wife completely. And while his feelings are valid and understandable, in the long run, this behavior only deteriorates his marriage.
3. He gives one-word responses
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When a man feels loved, he can't help but overshare what he's thinking. Feeling understood and welcome, a husband isn't afraid to reveal himself and be vulnerable. But never telling her anything or using one-word replies isn't a normal dynamic in relationships.
In a healthy marriage, both partners should feel comfortable sharing their lives. From complaints about co-workers to their favorite meals, it's normal to talk a lot when you're in a good relationship.
As clinical psychologist Catherine Aponte explained, "Your ability to verbally communicate with your spouse can significantly enhance the kind of relationship that will exist between the two of you... Communication in a personal relationship is about a husband and a wife collaborating with each other by sharing perceptions, feelings, ideas, and thoughts so that they can come to an understanding of what is happening between them — what their joint reality is."
4. He avoids intimacy
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It's normal for husbands to crave some sort of intimacy from their partner. Whether it's emotional closeness like mutual support or physical intimacy like a long hug, it makes couples feel more connected. And while at first you may not think much of your husband avoiding intimacy, as everyone gets busy, as time passes, you'll begin to notice how bad your relationship has become.
From dodging hugs to wincing every time you kiss him, there's something clearly wrong in the marriage. So, it's crucial to stay on top of communication. While serious conversations may be tough, it's the only way to keep your marriage thriving.
5. He stops making plans
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In a good marriage, spouses make plans together. From cute date nights to getaway vacations, planning is just one of those things that ensures your partner is still thinking about you and your future with one another. But when he stops making plans, it indicates he's very unhappy.
The more he ignores you and your future, the worse your marriage can become. As psychiatrist Barton Goldsmith revealed, "Futurizing with your mate is a healthy activity that will make you both happier, because as you look at the future, you'll be creating things to look forward to, and that's where happiness comes from... Making plans builds a bond and a stronger sense of security in our hearts."
6. He stops telling you everything
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A man who's deeply in love tells his wife everything. It doesn't matter how insignificant it may seem, because he wants to share it all. Eager to connect, a husband will reveal small things like how his day went all the way to big things like how he's coping with daily stressors.
When a husband stops telling his wife these details, the more emotional distance he's creating. After a certain point, it's difficult to recover without going to counseling. So, if a couple truly wants to avoid this, it's important for them to reconnect and communicate.
7. He criticizes you more frequently
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Whether it's pointing out how you don't wash the dishes the "right way" or attacking your character for no reason, if your husband has these habits, he's likely not very happy in your marriage. Because a man who is deeply invested in his marriage will never put his wife down.
He'll always find a way to remain positive and uplift his partner. Deep down, he knows creating a negative environment is wrong. But once he's checked out, he will speak in belittling and rude ways to her.
A man who's not happy doesn't care about the consequences of his actions. And while many women may stick around hoping for change, it's always better to leave. As psychotherapist F. Diane Barth said, "Whether you're the critic or the criticized, criticism in a relationship can leave you feeling more vulnerable and alone."
8. He puts less effort into the marriage
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Husbands who truly love their wives will go above and beyond just to see her smile. He will plan dates, buy her flowers, and cook her favorite food, simply because he adores her so much. But when he's not putting effort into it, it means he's content with giving the bare minimum.
This is why it's important for wives to either leave or figure out a solid plan to get out of this mentality; otherwise, they'll grow increasingly resentful in their marriage. And when one partner is putting in more effort than the other, there's no telling when things will fall apart.
9. He spends too much time on his phone
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If your husband spends too much time on his phone, he's likely not very happy in your marriage, using his phone as a distraction to avoid spending time with you. And while everyone struggles with putting their phone down sometimes, purposely ignoring your wife in favor of your phone isn't health.
Repeated patterns such as these are a glaring red flag in relationships. Not just in terms of showing interest, but his overall quality of life. As psychotherapist Ilene Strauss Cohen revealed, "Research is ongoing, but some studies suggest that excessive use of mobile phones can negatively affect sleep quality, social relationships, and even mental health."
10. He eats meals separately
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Once a man is done with his marriage, he'll try to avoid his wife at all costs. His main goal is simple: to forget how unhappy he truly is. It's not like his marriage can't be fixed; after all, once upon a time, everyone used to be happy. However, going from never eating meals together to sitting and chowing down takes a lot of work.
He may not just be unhappy, but resentful as well. Because he's decided to eat meals without his wife, he's not focused on quality time. And while a couple can work to figure out a solution, once a wife feels slighted like this, it might be time to move on.
11. He stops sharing his wins
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According to a study published in Frontiers in Psychology, good communication is a core contributing factor to a happy and satisfying marriage. Unfortunately, when a marriage has hit a dead end, communication tends to stall. When a husband stops sharing his wins, his wife is bound to suffer.
If she truly loves her husband, it's natural that she'd feel some type of way. However, now isn't the time to go into despair. Even if communication is lacking, couples can find a way forward. It might mean intimate sit-downs or couples therapy, but if you're serious about making your marriage work, digging your heels in deep and withstanding this storm is the best way to go.
Marielisa Reyes is a writer with a bachelor's degree in psychology who covers self-help, relationships, career, family, and astrology topics.
