Your Parents Did A Great Job Raising You If You Refuse To Spend Time On These 11 Things
Our parents are the first to instill values that we follow, even as adults.

Our parents truly play such a huge role in the kind of adults we end up being. From the lessons they teach us as we're growing up, a lot of those end up sticking with us long after we're no longer living under their roof. They are the ones who model healthy communication, how to set boundaries, and valuing your time and peace, especially against those that may be jeopardizing it in the first place.
Whether it's talking negatively about yourself, ignoring your passions, or people-pleasing, your parents did a great job raising you if you refuse to spend time on these things. If you find yourself avoiding things that drain your mental health and bring negativity, it means you've learned some valuable life skills early on, which mostly comes from being around your parents and watching them. It reflects how mature and emotionally intelligent you are, and that you are someone who prioritizes the things that truly matter.
Your parents did a great job raising you if you refuse to spend time on these 11 things
1. Being around toxic people
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One of the clearest things that your parents did a great job raising you is the fact that you refuse to put up with toxic people. The second that you have someone in your life that's draining your energy, you're quick to cut them off without a second look back. You're not someone to give people two, three, four chances if they aren't proving themselves to be respectful.
"Staying in a toxic relationship can be utterly debilitating... the toxic person is deft at pulling back, consoling, and showing contrition when necessary. But their long-term activity doesn't change. Meanwhile, you are left with waves of false hope, only to be pulled back in time and time again," explained mental health expert Gregory L. Jantz.
You just don't have the energy to be around people that seemingly always tear you down instead of lifting you up. It's because your parents taught you the value of having people around you that genuinely want to be in your life. They showed you what healthy relationships look like, and for that, you're not willing to put up with ones that aren't.
2. Being a people-pleaser
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When your parents raised you with valuable life lessons, it means that one of the things that you don't have the energy to do is be a people-pleaser. You aren't someone who bends over backwards just to avoid conflict or even gain approval, especially if it's at the cost of your own happiness and well-being.
"People-pleasing behavior can lead to mental and physical health problems such as fear of rejection, resentment, frustration... headaches, stomach problems, and/or high blood pressure. It can result in weak boundaries, problems with decision-making, low self-worth, dependency, and low competence," pointed out clinical psychologist Jennifer Guttman.
When you've grown up in a home where your parents respected your feelings and boundaries, it means you learned early on that prioritizing yourself is something you will never compromise. People-pleasing is just something that you can't wrap your head around. You would rather confront things head-on than pretend that everything is okay.
3. Letting fear stop you from trying new things
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Your parents did a great job raising you if you refuse to spend time letting fear stop you from doing the things you want to do. Growing up, your parents most likely encouraged you to always be brave and take on the unexpected because you never know what the outcome will be.
Because of that, you're someone who never lets fear stop you from doing anything. While it may be intimidating for you to try something different, you know that if you don't try, you'll never know what you're actually capable of.
You face these things head-on because your parents taught you that failure isn't the end. You're willing to take the risks because you welcome a challenge and you know that you won't be able to grow as a person unless you do things that scare you.
4. Ignoring your passions
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Your parents did a great job at allowing you to pursue the things that interested you. They never dimmed your light or criticized you for the things that you were passionate about as a child. Now, as an adult, you never second-guess yourself when it comes to pursuing things that you want to. You enjoy your passions and are always trying to chase your dreams, no matter what.
Your parents never made you feel small for the things you were curious about, and would be quick to support you for the things that you wanted to do. That kind of encouragement means that you nurture your creative side all the time and refuse to stop making space for things that fuel your soul.
5. Overcommitting to things
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If you're someone that knows when to say "yes" to things, and "no" when you have no energy and can't commit to plans, it means your parents did a good job at instilling lessons about how to protect your energy. While you're someone who's incredibly reliable and will show up when needed, you're also someone that knows when to turn things down for the benefit of your mental health.
"The journey to breaking free from self-sabotage is one of self-discovery and self-compassion. As you let go of old patterns, you make space for the person you were always meant to be — a person capable of reaching their full potential, one step at a time," encouraged medical professional Jan Bonhoeffer.
You know the importance of balance and being able to take care of yourself before pouring into other people's cups. You aren't someone to stretch yourself thin just to appease others, similar to not being a people-pleaser. You're aware that being able to prioritize your well-being means you're able to show up as the best version of yourself when the time comes.
6. Negative self-talk
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Your parents did a great job raising you if you refuse to spend time speaking negatively about yourself. You would rather be your biggest supporter than your own hater. You are good at speaking positively about yourself and seeing your worth because you have parents who have always encouraged you in everything and anything that you've wanted to do in life.
"It can be comforting. It can be confirming. It can give you a false sense of purpose. What most people don't see is that all negative self-talk does is steal. It steals your attention from the present, by helping you stay stuck in the past," insisted behavioral expert Beverly D. Flaxington.
Your parents constantly reminded you that the mistakes you make along the way don't have to define you. If you fall, you just pick yourself back up again and try once more instead of beating yourself up for the things that you can't control. It doesn't mean that you don't have days where self-doubt starts creeping in, but you just don't let it control you or keep you stuck.
7. Holding onto grudges
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If you refuse to hold onto grudges of any kind, your parents did a great job raising you. They taught you the value of forgiveness and actually moving on. You're not someone who holds onto resentment because you know that it only ends up doing you a disservice in the end. It doesn't mean that you'll allow someone back if they've messed up and really hurt you, but you will just move on instead of harping on the past.
Your emotional well-being is too important to you to waste it on someone that doesn't deserve it. Grudges just don't feel good for you, and you would rather free yourself from the burden of being angry and bitter all of the time.
8. Not taking care of your mental health
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Growing up with your parents teaching you that nothing is more important than your mental health means that, as an adult, you take it quite seriously. You're aware that not taking care of your mental well-being can end up causing you to struggle immensely in life.
You grew up in an environment that encouraged you to talk about your feelings, and your parents always encouraged you to check in on yourself when you were feeling low. Because of that, when you realize that something feels off, you take the necessary actions.
Whether it's taking a mental health day, going to therapy, or just allowing yourself to rest and practicing self-care, your parents modeled the right ways to regulate your emotions, and that's something you practice everyday as an adult.
9. Over-apologizing
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If you've hurt someone's feelings or acted in a way that may have caused someone else to feel bad, you're quick to apologize and try to mend the situation. However, you're not someone who feels the need to apologize for simply existing or for things that are out of your control entirely.
"Over-apologizing is often a sign of deeper issues: low self-worth, fear of conflict, or past emotional wounds. But you can change the habit by becoming aware of it, using new language, and treating yourself with the kindness you reserve for others," explained licensed clinical professional counselor Millie Huckabee.
That means your parents did a great job in teaching you how to take accountability for your actions, while also emphasizing the importance of not apologizing for just being yourself. You're not someone who just throws around the words "I'm sorry" for no reason. They actually mean something to you, and you'll only use them when you're trying to be meaningful and rectify a situation.
10. Being chronically late
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Thanks to the way your parents raised you, you're someone that has good time management skills and avoids being the person that's always late to plans. Even if it's something simple like going to your friend's house to watch a movie, you're there at 7 p.m. sharp and not a minute later.
You're just someone who's aware that everyone's time is quite valuable and you hate to leave people waiting, especially when you know that you'd hate it if it was the other way around. Your parents were people who always taught you the importance of being early and that good first impressions are made when you show up at the time that you're supposed to.
You know that it can come off as inconsiderate if you just don't care about being late. You're someone that's highly organized and plan accordingly. If you know that you might be running a bit late, you make sure to communicate that clearly and effectively beforehand.
11. Comparing yourself to others
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Your parents did a great job raising you if you refuse to spend time comparing aspects of your life to others'. While you may struggle with comparison, which is normal, especially in a time where everyone's on social media and seeing how others live their lives, you're able to snap out of it quicker because you know that your own journey is good enough.
"When we don't give into the comparison game, we have the opportunity to refocus our attention on ourselves, and to live a life that best represents our dreams and passions. When we choose to not let comparison dictate the way we see ourselves, the only person's opinion that matters, in the end, is our own," clinical psychologist Robert Puff said.
You are aware that not everyone's life journey will look the same, and it doesn't mean that yours is invalid because it doesn't look similar to others that you see. Your parents most likely taught you that success and happiness isn't just a one-size-fits-all kind of deal. There's no rush on finding success, and it will come in due time. As long as you're putting in the work and staying true to yourself.
Nia Tipton is a staff writer with a bachelor's degree in creative writing and journalism who covers news and lifestyle topics that focus on psychology, relationships, and the human experience.