Kids Who Are Praised For Trying Even When They Fail Usually Show These 11 Interesting Behaviors As Adults
JLco Julia Amaral | Shutterstock The way you’re raised plays a big role in the kind of adult you’ll become. This has been proven to be true over and over again in people who experienced childhood trauma, but it can also be accurate for the more positive aspects of life. If you were raised in a home with a lot of love, that will definitely influence the person you become. And, as such, kids who are praised for trying even when they fail usually show certain interesting behaviors as adults.
Some kids only ever receive recognition for all of their hard work when they actually accomplish something. However, some kids are lucky enough to have a supportive circle that praises them for trying, even if they fail in their endeavors. People who grew up with the latter experience developed certain behaviors they carry with them into adulthood as a result of the praise they received, whether they succeeded or not.
Kids who are praised for trying even when they fail usually show these 11 interesting behaviors as adults
1. They're resilient
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A kid who was praised just for trying is going to develop a sense of resiliency that others don’t have. They aren’t afraid to keep working, even when success feels elusive. After a childhood in which they were told they did a good job just by putting the effort in, they won’t give up easily as an adult.
Being able to persevere like this is important, and according to psychologists, going through failures actually increases someone’s sense of perseverance. This means that there’s nothing wrong with praising a kid when they try, because they’re still learning from the experience and getting stronger because of it.
2. They're willing to try new things
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If a child is always told that they did a great job by trying their best, that’s going to signal to them that it’s safe to try new things. And kids who are praised for trying even when they fail usually show these interesting behaviors as adults.
They’ll carry this into adulthood and not be afraid of taking on new challenges that others would shy away from. They weren’t taught to associate failure with fear, so they’ll know that it’s alright to try something new and not be the best at it.
The truth is, if someone never tries anything new, they’ll live a pretty boring life. They might have the benefit of feeling secure, but they would miss out on discovering something new that, in some cases, could change the trajectory of their life.
Parents truly give their kids a gift when they praise them for trying because it opens them up to so many more possibilities throughout their lives.
3. They're supportive of others
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It makes sense that someone who grew up always feeling supported, whether they succeeded or not, would extend that same encouragement to others. And, really, this is needed more now than ever before. It feels like we are all experiencing an unprecedented amount of stress right now, and having a strong social support system is one of the best ways to cope with that.
For some people, showing support is just a default response. It’s what others have always done for them, so they automatically continue that cycle. It’s not so easy for everyone, though. If someone grew up in an environment that wasn’t encouraging, they might not have such an easy time extending support to others when needed.
4. They show empathy
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People who were praised for trying as kids are likely to be more empathetic. This means that they’ll not only be able to understand people better and relate to what they’re going through, but they’ll also be more likely to have a natural desire to help others. People helped them their whole lives, so they’re returning the favor.
Often, people tend to be pretty hard on themselves when they fail, and that’s just made worse if they weren’t praised just for their efforts growing up. Those who were praised for trying can recognize these signs in others and give them the help and compassion they need when they feel like everything is falling apart because of a failure.
5. They're not afraid of challenges
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There’s no reason that someone who grew up being praised for giving it their all would be afraid to take on something difficult as an adult. It’s easy to feel like you should avoid challenges because they present a very real opportunity to fall flat on your face, but these people know that failure isn’t the end of the story, so they don’t feel the need to do everything possible to avoid challenges.
A study published in Frontiers in Psychology pointed out that facing challenges head-on is actually a part of positive psychology, and that it presents a chance to improve your well-being and reach a state of “optimal functioning.” If someone runs from every challenge they face, they won’t live much of a life. Having the inherent ability to not fear those challenges makes life so much easier.
6. They're always open to feedback
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We all know what it’s like to receive constructive criticism that really isn’t all that constructive at all, so it’s only natural that a lot of people feel uncomfortable about the idea of getting feedback. Sometimes that can feel like a failure in itself. But people who know what it’s like to be praised for trying understand that they need feedback from others to keep improving, and they receive it willingly.
A Gallup poll found that 80% of employees who had received meaningful feedback from their superiors in the past week felt like they were “fully engaged” at work. Receiving appropriate feedback has been shown to not only improve a person's performance, but also make it easier for them to make adjustments to their plans as needed. If someone isn’t open to that feedback, they’re missing out on a huge opportunity to become even better and achieve more.
7. They're satisfied with effort
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The world we live in is driven by results, and we often receive the message that you must succeed at something to actually be happy. If someone was praised for trying as a kid, they were taught that success is not the only goal in life. Instead, they are just as happy putting the effort in to reach whatever the end goal is because they know that effort matters just as much as the result.
Praising someone for the outcome of their effort is actually not an effective motivator, and it teaches them not to be satisfied with a job well done either. While we can influence outcomes, we can’t completely control them, so focusing too heavily on this takes the spotlight away from what someone has actually done themselves. People who were praised for trying in their own lives know that it’s fine to be content with doing their best.
8. They truly believe in themselves
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It can be hard to maintain belief in yourself when the world constantly tells you that you aren’t meeting a certain standard. But kids who are praised for trying even when they fail usually show their faith in themselves as adults.
They were taught that just doing their best was enough. Whether this motivates them to go on to achieve greater things or just brings them a sense of peace, they won’t feel the need to constantly measure up to an impossible ideal.
Feeling like you’re able to believe in yourself as a way to move closer to your goals is also known as self-efficacy. Psychologist Albert Bandura defined this as “the belief in one’s capabilities to organize and execute the courses of action required to manage prospective situations.” If someone has a strong sense of self-efficacy, it means they’re more likely to succeed, decreasing the chance of failure even though it’s not something they fear.
9. They're able to pivot
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It’s easy to get so wrapped up in your original idea of what your plan for reaching a certain goal was that deviating from that plan makes you feel like everything is falling apart. If someone was praised for trying when growing up, they probably won’t feel a need to stick to the original plan so strictly. They’ll understand that their success or failure does not depend on how they reach their goal, and they won’t be afraid to move onto plan B when necessary.
Corporate coach Mike S. Shapiro argued that being able to pivot is the “ultimate skill set for true success” and “opens up new opportunities and personal growth.” Some people are afraid of pivoting because they’re so locked into their idea of what they think success is, but moving onto an even better plan is never a bad thing. There are always multiple paths you can take.
10. They have less performance anxiety
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It’s pretty common to feel anxious about how well you’re doing something. Whether it’s related to work or a personal matter, people judge their own performance harshly, and also worry about being judged by others. If someone was praised for trying as a kid, they don’t have this problem because they know that effort is a good thing, no matter what it looks like.
Performance anxiety can take a task that you want to do well with and blow it out of proportion because you’re overly worried about doing a good job and meeting your goal. Everyone is going to experience this at some level, but these people will likely feel less of it because they trust themselves to do their best, and they don’t believe anyone will fault them for that.
11. They work hard to achieve their goals
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People who know the value of trying and aren’t afraid of failure, in general, won’t be afraid to put in the hard work needed to achieve their goals. When someone doesn’t know that the effort put in is just as important as the end result, everything feels very make-it-or-break-it to them, and they may actually fear reaching their goals in case things don’t go the way they wanted.
But kids who are praised for trying even when they fail usually won't struggle with that as adults. They’ll put in even more work, and reach their end goal even sooner.
Ironically, fear of failure can make you feel like you failed long before you’re ever done working towards something. You can’t let failure get in the way of accomplishing what’s important, though. Someone who’s not conditioned to fear failure will have an easier time with this.
Mary-Faith Martinez is a writer with a bachelor’s degree in English and Journalism who covers news, psychology, lifestyle, and human interest topics.
