If A Son Has Stopped Respecting His Parents, He’ll Do These 11 Things Without Thinking Twice
It might not be obvious at first, but there are clear signs when a son no longer feels close to his parents.
sommthink / Shutterstock Every parent wants to feel like their child respects them and the things they have to say. It's what allows the connection between a child and parent to grow and get stronger, especially as they become more independent and start to integrate into adulthood. When that respect suddenly starts to slip away, it can leave parents feeling hurt and unsure what it is about them that has caused their child to suddenly start acting out. For a son in particular, the shift isn't always noticeable or something that can be explained. It seems like it's happened overnight and suddenly he's brushing off spending quality family time or rolling his eyes at every little comment his parents make.
It can start to feel like a phase at first, but over time, his habits and behavior can reveal that there's actually a bigger problem at play: the respect has vanished. It may not always come from a bad place or that he suddenly despises his parents. A lot of the time, it can be internal factors, like him being stressed out from school or feeling overwhelmed at trying to figure out his own independence and sense of self. Whatever the case may be, parents can't help but feeling under-appreciated in the process.
If a son has stopped respecting his parents, he'll do these 11 things without thinking twice
1. Disregard house rules
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Every parent has rules and boundaries for their children, whether it's abiding by a curfew or cleaning up after themselves. When those guidelines are suddenly being ignored, it sends a clear message that he has no interest in following the structure that his parents have set for him.
Psychologist Nancy Darling explained that parents having reasonable rules and expectations for their kids means they'll end up feeling safe while also allowing them to make good choices. Rules may not feel fun in the moment, but they exist so that chaos doesn't ensue.
It might not be immediately apparent that he's no longer following the house rules, but soon parents will start noticing how late their son is coming home from hanging out with friends and without an explanation. Or, he's leaving a mess behind him after cooking in the kitchen, despite knowing that he's responsible for making sure it looks spotless after use. While it's natural for kids to test boundaries as they grow older, especially when they want more freedom, it doesn't make it any less frustrating knowing that your child is suddenly fine with disrespecting you and the rules laid out for them.
2. Talk back constantly
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Instead of actually listening to what his parents have to say, even if it's not something he necessarily agrees with, rather than keeping his behavior respectful, he'll start talking back. Even when parents have gone into the conversation expecting it to be a calm interaction, he'll immediately become defensive, have a sarcastic retort, or just tune out his parents altogether. The problem is that nothing ever gets resolved, leaving both sides feeling frustrated.
It can be easy for parents just to snap back at their son, especially if he's in his teenage years. However, psychologist Laura Markham insisted that parents always "re-establish the standard for respect." She encouraged parents to keep the "connection with the child warm, even while you point out their hurtful tone."
In the moment, he may not even realize he's being disrespectful. Still, the pattern of his behavior shows that he's not really interested in prioritizing respect in the way he speaks to his parents.
3. Treat their advice like background noise
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Rather than listening to the advice that his parents are giving him and actually considering it, he'll nod along absentmindedly, avoid eye contact while they're talking to him, or even just mindlessly scroll on his phone to show that he's not even really listening. To him, his parents' advice is truly just background noise, which is a sign that he no longer respects their opinions about anything. Despite the fact that his parents have been his age and learned a thing or two about maybe some of the dilemmas that he might be going through, he doesn't think their experience or wisdom has any weight.
A parent's advice usually comes from a place of wanting to see their child do better. When that advice is, in turn, brushed off or ignored completely, it's easy for them to feel dismissed by their own child.
Mental health advocate Sophie Riegel pointed out that it's natural for parents to feel slighted when their child is just actively avoiding the advice being given to them. However, she encouraged parents to focus on the outcome and whether or not their child even listens to the advice in the first place. Instead, parents should let go of their frustration and "feel satisfied that they are learning, growing, and applying what they need."
4. Show zero interest in family time
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Spending quality time with family is one of the best ways to make sure you're actually staying connected with each other. Things like sitting down for dinner, getting together for movie nights, and going out to do activities together are all a part of keeping that bond strong. According to a survey from the Pew Research Center, about three-quarters of U.S. adults (73%) rate spending time with family as one of the most important things to them personally, regardless of how much time they actually devote to it. Though when a son is suddenly showing zero interest in actually spending time with his parents and family, it's usually a sign that the respect for the family dynamic has changed for him.
At first, he might brush off spending quality time because he's busy with things going on in his personal life, whether that be school, working, or just wanting to spend time with his friends. But, when he's consistently making an effort to always be busy when there's a family gathering or coming up with excuses to skip out on it altogether, it shows that he no longer wants to prioritize being present. A son who respects his parents may not want to attend every activity, but he'll at least make an effort to show up sometimes.
5. Refuse to apologize
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Even when he's clearly in the wrong, a son refusing to apologize only ends up creating more of an emotional gap in the relationship that he has with his parents. It's clear that he doesn't think they're worthy enough for a simply "sorry," especially if their feelings are hurt from something that he's either said or done. The unwillingness to apologize might stem from the fact that he just doesn't want to be the one who looks weak, even if apologizing shows that he's actually mature and has thought about the consequences of his actions enough to know that saying "I'm sorry" means taking accountability.
Parents not getting an apology from their son after conflict can be deeply disrespectful and communicates to them that their feelings don't really even matter to him. A heartfelt apology can be the one thing that helps to rebuild after an uncomfortable moment or argument, but the refusal to give one only further causes division.
6. Never ask about their day
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Parents often spend all of their time checking in on their children and asking how things are going in their lives, whether it's school, the relationships they have with their friends, or how their extracurricular activities are faring. When a son refuses to ask his parents about their day, it might not seem like such a big deal, considering it's mostly a conversation starter from parents rather than children. It can also show that their experiences and moments aren't something that he wants to give his attention to.
That lack of interest can definitely make his parents feel invisible to their own child. Most of the time, a son isn't asking just out of a lack of thought. He may be so caught up in his routine and life that he doesn't make time to sit down with his parents and have a meaningful conversation about any updates in their lives. Even if he doesn't mean it to be a lack of respect, his parents can take it as that. They want to know that they matter in the same way their son matters to them.
7. Refuse to share his achievements
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An exciting part about being a parent is seeing your child grow into their own person and reach successes and milestones that make them feel fulfilled. But when a son suddenly stops sharing his achievements with his parents and the good things happening in his life, it can feel as if he's shutting them out of the special parts of his life. Instead of being able to share his joy, parents are left with the silence that tells them what they need to know about their relationship with their son.
Keeping his parents on the outskirts can feel intentional, especially when they've been cheering him on since the second he was born. Licensed marriage and family therapist David Schwartz insisted that when children feel safe enough to share their thoughts, parents have more of an ability to help them with the choices they are making.
When a child suddenly becomes unresponsive, parents can end up feeling stuck instead. A son who actually respects his parents will care about letting them in on the victories in his life and will actually want to hear their thoughts and opinions on the things he's embarking on.
8. Act embarrassed by them in public
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Rather than being proud to stand beside them, parents may notice that their son is instead rolling his eyes or trying to keep a distance from them so that he isn't seen interacting with them at all. Moments like this can feel quite humiliating for them, especially when it becomes a pattern every single time they're out in public. At first, it can seem normal, especially for preteens or teenagers who are just trying to get a sense of who they are outside of their parents.
They may walk a few steps ahead or behind their parents and even ignore them in front of their friends. But despite how normal this kind of behavior is, it doesn't mean that it's not hurtful and disrespectful for parents to be on the receiving end of. When it's done intentionally, parents can quickly feel as if their presence isn't valued at all, at least enough for their son to treat them with respect in front of others.
9. Disregard their sacrifices
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Rather than showing gratitude for the things that his parents have sacrificed to get him to where he is now, he brushes them off or treats them as if they don't really matter at all. From the long hours at work to provide food on the table or the sleepless nights staying up with them to help with homework, parents can quickly feel as if they're being taken for granted when those efforts are just dismissed right in their faces.
A son refusing to acknowledge the hardships and dedication that it took for his parents to give him the life that he has now shows that he has zero idea what that kind of sacrifice even means in the first place. While parents don't do what they do for recognition, it can still feel as if their love and compassion for their son go unnoticed, or even worse, unappreciated. It's not about saying thank you all the time, but about carrying that gratitude and honoring everything that your parents have done out of love.
10. Hide away in his room
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While research has shown that kids benefit immensely from spending time on their own, and it can help with their personal growth and self-acceptance, there's a big difference between children having solitude versus using it as a way to get away from their parents. When a son refuses to engage with his parents and disappears behind the closed door of his room at every chance he can get, it can feel as if he's avoiding having to spend any real time with them. They'll find him in his room with his headphones on, playing video games or watching movies.
They might just assume that he needs time to recharge and space to come back to himself, but when there's an opportunity for actual connection, he simply refuses to take it. He'd rather hide away in his room, and that absence can end up weighing heavily on his parents in the process. It can make them feel as if he doesn't respect them enough to at least spend a few minutes with them in a room. When they try to make him feel included, he'd rather isolate himself than engage with them, which can be disheartening.
11. Not introduce them to new friends
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Rather than sharing his new friends with his parents and letting them into parts of his life, he has committed to excluding them altogether, which shows the lack of respect he has for them. While many young people tend to avoid mixing their friendships with their family, it's usually inevitable when new friends meet the parents and see the family dynamic. Whether it's inviting them over to the house or having a party where both friends and family are there, it's just what happens when you're blending different parts of your life.
But a son who refuses to do this consistently is signaling that he doesn't really want his parents' presence in his social life at all. A son who deeply respects his parents will want them to meet his new friends. Not just to see who he's been hanging out with, but also to get their first impressions and thoughts because he genuinely values what they have to say about the people he spends time with.
Nia Tipton is a staff writer with a bachelor's degree in creative writing and journalism who covers news and lifestyle topics that focus on psychology, relationships, and the human experience.
