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As written by one.
By Keith Dent — Written on Dec 04, 2019
Knowing how to flirt with a guy and get him to like you over texts or DMs is as simple as understanding a bit about what men do, and do not, want to hear from women, as well as what they typically prefer to read.
Notably, not only did one survey of over 2000 children between the ages of 6 and 17 reveal that only 52% of boys (as opposed to 72% of girls) say they like reading books over the summer, but further studies show the trend continues into adulthood.
Texting isn't only about writing, but about reading, as well, which means you probably can’t expect most men you date to read and respond to text messages the same way you do.
Since texting is essential to communication these days, a simple guide on what men do and don't want to hear from you in text messages and DMs can make all the difference when it comes to flirting successfully.
If you want to know how to flirt with a guy over text in a way gets him to really like you, here's a list of 10 texting do's and don'ts to follow.
1. Do: Be direct
This is by far the most important distinction to consider when it comes to understanding differences between how men and women text. Sending lengthy texts will only confuse and frustrate him.
A guy may text you about making plans to spend time together, but he may also be considering spending time with his boys. Responding with a simple yes or no and specifying a time lets him know he needs to send you a direct reply in return.
2. Don’t: Read anything into the time he takes between responses
In other words, if it takes him a little more time than you'd like to respond, don’t assume it means he’s not interested.
He may be busy or he may be multi-tasking.
3. Do: Send texts that are light and fun
This type of text is great as a conversation starter. And providing interesting bits of information about yourself may help him to open up to you, as well.
Of course, that part will probably happen when you meet up in person rather than over text, so be patient.
4. Don’t: Exaggerate or fake your persona
You want him to know who you really are rather than trying to present yourself as the kind of woman you think he wants you to be.
Exaggerating or faking personality traits that aren't authentic to you will only lead to disappointment for you both.
5. Do: Send texts inviting him to do things based on what you know of his interests
If you want to almost guarantee you get the opportunity see him in person, send him a text inviting him to an activity you know he enjoys.
More likely than not, he will appreciate both your candor and interest in him and respond positively.
6. Don’t: Send texts changing your mind or complaining about that activity
If texting him about that activity was just a ruse to get him to hang out with you, it won’t sit very well when he realizes you don't really want to participate.
There are few things worse to do when you're first dating someone than agreeing to do something and either cancelling, being disinterested or complaining when the date arrives.
Doing any of those things will lead him to question your sincerity and worry that a potential relationship with you will always have to go according to your terms.
7. Do: Master the art of sending flirty texts
Since you can’t necessarily read tone in a text, sending overtly flirtatious texts can help keep a man interested.
Mixing in a dash of sexual chemistry, innuendo and fun is bound to keep him on his toes.
8. Don’t: Send lengthy texts, even if they're just meant to be flirtatious
Remember, it's highly probable he doesn’t like to read, so keep it short.
Also, be sure leave something to the imagination.
9. Do: Text openly and honestly when it comes to matters of the heart
A text like this will make him feel special.
He will know that the relationship is going in the right direction.
10. Don’t: Text your vulnerability too soon
Not only should you be sure not to text these feelings until you know you mean it, but you should also wait until you feel confident he is ready to receive the message.
In other words, text him your feelings about him only once you've followed the earlier tips above and they've successfully led to meaningful face-to-face interactions.
In the end, if you remind yourself a man is likely going to be different than you when it comes to the way he sends and responds to text messages and DMs, it will make both your relationship and communication with him Imore enjoyable.
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Keith Dent is a certified coach and author of In the Paint: How to Win at the Game of Love. If you are looking to communicate more effectively with your partner, contact him via email to learn more about how he can help.