How To Fall Madly In Love With Your Partner All Over Again

Photo: getty
How To Fall Back In Love In Your Relationship Using The Law Of Attraction

When you’ve been in a relationship for a while, it’s easy to get complacent. You take your partner’s good qualities for granted and wish that his bad ones would simply disappear. And over time, a rut sets in.

You co-exist. But that was never your plan. You wanted to savor the beauty of this relationship. You wanted to feel alive. So how can you keep the genuine and real love you felt going?

You were initially attracted to your partner for a host of wonderful qualities. Many of them are probably still there and are a big reason why you are still with your partner. But by now, you take them for granted, or worse, keep feeling dismayed by the negative ones.

RELATED: 15 Things My Wife Does That Make Me Fall In Love With Her Again

For years, in my first marriage, my husband and I continually focused on what the other one was lacking. It wore our marriage down.

Today, I intentionally remind myself of my current husband’s good qualities. When we have a disagreement, I focus on getting it resolved, rather than dwell on it, so that I can return to focusing on the genuine love I feel for him.

Learning how to fall in love with your partner again requires reminding yourself how wonderful your partner truly is.

What are the wonderful qualities your partner has? What do you still adore today? Compile a list of these traits.

When it’s right in front of you, it’s easy to forget. So, quietly sit with this list and close your eyes. Give thanks for each of the qualities you enjoy. Experience them in your thoughts and feel the warm connection this creates between you.

The Law of Attraction teaches you that you get more of what you focus on. Practicing gratitude in relationships is central to keeping your genuine love for each other going. The more you appreciate your partner, the more they will reflect their good qualities back to you.

If you are feeling challenged in creating this list, it's helpful to break it down into smaller pieces.

  1. List how your partner helps around the home.
  2. Describe how your partner makes you feel when you are with him.
  3. List the gifts he gives you each year and how they make you feel.
  4. Describe how you feel when you are together.
  5. List the ways in which he shows that he appreciates you.
  6. Describe your favorite activities together and why you enjoy doing them with him.
  7. List his best qualities.

Really soak in what you experience when you think about how to fall back in love with each other. Feel the appreciation it builds in you and connect with it.

One of the goals that my husband and I have each year is that pick out a class or workshop we'd like to take together. This year, we tried fun wine tasting classes.

Not only do we learn more about a new topic and ourselves in the process, the important thing is that these experiences help us both grow in some way together — which keeps us connected in an enduring way.

The emphasis is on "together" here. It’s easy for couples in long-term relationships to grow apart because they each grow in a different direction. You develop different interests.

There’s nothing wrong with developing yourself. However, to stay connected with your partner, you need to keep that genuine love and connection alive. Andlearning new things together does just that.

When you choose a topic that is interesting to both, it will infuse your relationship with new life.

RELATED: 16 Ways To Fall In Love Again (If You've Lost That In-Love Feeling)

So ask yourself: What is a topic you would like to learn more about that your partner might enjoy as well? Talk to each other and research the options together. Allow it to grow between the two of you.

It's a good idea to sit down and outline your goals for the year together. You can talk about what you want to achieve for your family, your relationship, your finances, your careers, and your health.

You can each first contemplate these questions by yourselves and write down your personal answers. Then you can gather and discuss your outcomes.

This is a chance to start with a new slate each year and create new outcomes. You can let go of goals that didn’t work or to adjust them. And it’s a chance to widen your horizons and dream big together.

It’s amazing how the ideas flow when you set the time aside to do this together. You'll find your dream bigger together than on your own.

When you have flushed out the goals, you can simply write them down or you can create a vision board for them. This can be a wonderfully creative date for the two of you.

Your relationship requires ongoing positive attention. It helps to establish a routine to take care of it. Just as a fire goes out when you forget to stoke it, your relationship will lose its connection without your involvement.

When you establish habits that are meaningful to both of you, you are able to maintain a blaze that will warm you for years to come.

RELATED: 3 Weird Things That Make Men Fall In Love (And Stay In Love)

Before you go,
subscribe to our newsletter.

Join now for YourTango's trending articles, top expert advice and personal horoscopes delivered straight to your inbox each morning.

Selina Schuh is an educator, author, speaker, and owner of Empowered Living Strategies. She teaches women who are feeling frustrated and under-appreciated in their relationships step-by-step skills to create deeply connected relationships and offers a library of free resources to help.

This article was originally published at Empowered Living Strategies. Reprinted with permission from the author.