11 Undeniable Signs You’re With The Person You’re Destined To Grow Old With
If the two of you share these signs, you can expect the relationship to last for an eternity.
Roman Samborskyi / Shutterstock When you meet someone and fall deeply in love, it's hard to know if they are just a temporary chapter in your book or if they were written to last a lifetime. A person who might initially seem like they are the love of your life could turn out to be a dud over time, leaving you wondering how you once thought so highly of them.
The person meant to stay with you forever keeps showing up, no matter what life throws at the two of you. They choose you and you choose them every day for the rest of your lives, and it doesn't take constant reassurance of grand gestures to make you feel safe and secure. Knowing that you are with the person you are destined to grow old with is just the start of your journey. You have to be intentional and never put the relationship on autopilot. It can only grow if two people are actively invested in protecting it. But if you're wondering whether or not your relationship can stand the test of time, these signs can confirm what your heart already feels.
Here are 11 undeniable signs you're with the person you're destined to grow old with
1. You stay curious about each other
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It's easy to get too comfortable with your partner after months or years together. You start to feel as if you have discovered everything there is to know about them, and the curiosity and excitement start to fade. But when you are with your true person, you will continue to want to know more and more about their past, their thoughts, their dreams, and their fears. You want to understand them more and treat them like a book that you want to read cover to cover over and over again, knowing you'll find something you missed each time.
People change over time. Desires, priorities, and even a person's personality can shift with life experience. Letting your partner evolve and grow while remaining curious about the person they are becoming is key to a love that lasts a lifetime. Couples that are meant to make it to the finish line together allow each other to transform and don't expect them to be the same as the day you met. them.
2. Yes, you argue, but you fight fair
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You cannot avoid conflict in any relationship. Being with the person you are meant to grow old with means the arguments are not about winning, but about gaining a better understanding of each other. You listen to your soulmate and can take breaks when things get too heated, then come back to find resolution when cooler heads prevail. The goal is to become better together, not to punish each other.
People who have long-lasting love communicate like teammates instead of enemies. When tension arises, they have a mindset of "us versus the problem" instead of "me versus you." Instead of seeing each other as adversaries, you assume good intent on both sides, even when one party triggers the other.
3. Your happiness is equally important
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When you have found the person you are supposed to be with until the end of time, you genuinely want them to be happy as much as you want happiness for yourself. Whenever they win, it feels like you win because you love to see them with a smile on their face and feeling good about life. You aren't trying to fix them or change them into what you think they should be. You're there to support them in becoming the best version of themselves.
This might look like your partner taking time for themselves to introspect. You understand that even in the closest and healthiest relationships, individuality is important. That time apart and the ability to sit in solitude help to miss each other and bring new energy into a mature relationship.
4. You see them in your future
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You know you've found the one when your future dreams start to automatically include them. At some point, they stopped being a "maybe" or an "if" and became a sure thing. No matter what version of the future you imagine, they are there alongside you, not because you need them to get to where you want to go, but because everything just seems better with them by your side.
You start to build shared rituals with your lover. It could be Friday night takeout, Sunday morning breakfast in bed, or shared habits. You both have shared emotional anchors that give you something to look forward to together. These interlaced experiences are the patchwork of your love story.
5. You feel seen, and they love you for who you are
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Real love exists when a person knows all of your little quirks, big fears, and embarrassing flaws, but still chooses you. You no longer have to be self-conscious about things your prior partners might have found annoying or considered a turn-off. You no longer have to perform or filter yourself to make your mate comfortable. That is very rare and the blueprint to a forever love.
The two of you understand each other's values and don't take the connection for granted. You are intentional about not taking one another for granted and cherish every moment you spend together. The small gestures, like a kiss on the cheek, an inquiry into your day, or a bouquet from the grocery store, are the emotional glue that keep the relationship super strong. You have studied your partner, learned how they like to be loved, and did everything you could to accommodate.
6. You grow together, not apart
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There are always going to be changes in life. For couples who are not locked in for life, this can result in them growing in opposite directions. But in a connection that is meant to be forever, both parties adapt and transform together. They support each other's goals and ambitions, encourage personal growth, and know that their relationship is strong enough to hold space for each of them through their evolution.
As we know, job changes, career shifts, aging, and unexpected detours can cause heavy chaos in your life. It's all part of the growth process. Your true love can find humor and lightness in the small challenges that you face together every day. This sets the stage for a resilient and joyful love.
7. You learn each other's love language
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Whether it's words of affirmation, physical touch, quality time, acts of service, or gifts, people who are destined to be together naturally express love in ways each of them can understand. They may not have understood each other's love language in the beginning, but they have purposely set out to learn, so their mate feels safe, wanted, and understood.
The love of your life will keep the intimacy alive in all forms. Emotional, physical, intellectual, and spiritual connection is vital to both of you, and you behave in a manner that supports it. Deep conversations, shared dreams, hugs and kisses, laughter, and nonverbal cues are just a few of the ways couples who want the relationship to last continue to build intimacy with each other.
8. You can sit together in silence
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That uncomfortable feeling of awkward silence doesn't exist with people who are destined to live out their days together. They don't need to blurt out meaningless words or say things they don't mean to break the tension in the air. They are very comfortable and at peace simply sitting in each other's presence. There is an unspoken understanding that only two people with a deep, spiritual connection can feel and understand.
There is no need to fill every moment with conversation. Quiet is peaceful, and just being close to each other is enough. You usually only find that type of quiet companionship in deep, long-term love. It doesn't matter what is happening in the world around you. You find solace and ease in each other's arms.
9. You go through storms together and come out stronger
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Everyone has their share of tough moments in life, even things that could have broken the relationship permanently. But for couples with unbreakable bonds, adversity only makes them stronger together. Challenges draw them closer as they go into battle, faithful that as long as they fight together, they can overcome everything. They would choose one another over and over again to do life with.
Part of weathering life's storms together is to protect your relationship from any outside noise. Friends, family, colleagues, and strangers can intentionally or unintentionally create tension. Strong couples have boundaries and keep whatever happens between them sacred. They get that peace is one of their most valuable assets and are serious about protecting theirs.
10. You still laugh together
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There is nothing like an inside joke with the person you love the most. You might share silly habits or have the same strange sense of humor, but laughter flows easily between the two of you. Even in the roughest of times, the two of you can make fun of yourselves or the circumstances and lift each other's spirits. There is a shared joy in the relationship that makes it much more likely to go the distance.
Part of this light-hearted approach to love is the ability to turn a negative into a positive. You both apologize without pride or ego when you mess up. You can acknowledge when you have hurt each other and own the mistakes you make. This accountability can heal wounds faster than an explanation could and build unshakeable trust.
11. You feel like home to each other
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I don't know if words can do this feeling justice, but you know the feeling. It's a deep sense of safety and belonging that you have never felt around anyone else. They come into the room, and you just know that everything is going to be okay. You can breathe now because in an uncertain world, they are the thing that keeps you grounded.
This comfort and familiarity with each other are evidenced by the way you can engage in hard conversations. You don't put off discussions about finances, values, boundaries, or family planning. You address them with honesty and empathy instead of avoidance. The more you openly share, the deeper the trust between you will become.
NyRee Ausler is a writer from Seattle, Washington, and the author of seven books. She focuses on lifestyle and human interest stories that deliver informative and actionable guidance on interpersonal relationships, enlightenment, and self-discovery.
