Love, Self

How To Snap Stellar Online Dating Profile Pictures That Reveal Your Authentic Self

Photo: Kinga Cichewicz/unsplash
How To Snap Stellar Online Dating Profile Pictures That Reveal Your Authentic Self

Most of us want to date someone who gets us and really likes us for who we are, and ultimately, we all want to find love.

The world of online dating can sometimes seem overwhelming, especially when it comes to taking dating profile pictures, which are important to attracting people — particularly the first or primary photo.

Luckily, taking great dating profile pictures that showcase the real you is easy with some simple online dating tips. 

So, does your current dating profile have photos that show who you really are?

RELATED: A 4-Step Guide To Creating The Perfect Dating Profile (Says Study)

The eyes have it.

The eyes are very important in photos, not just because we are attracted to the physical properties of people’s eyes but also because we subconsciously "read" so much about each other in our eyes.

As the well-known phrase says, "The eyes are the window to the soul."

If your photos don’t reveal your eyes and show who you really are, potential dates won’t be able to see you. They’ll either be confused about who you are or wonder if you're disguised — they’ll be seeing someone else!

If someone is attracted to your disguise and asks you on a date, you’ll have to keep that facade up the whole time.

How exhausting! And if you enter into a relationship this way, it is almost definitely doomed to fail.

So often, we put on disguises in our profile photos.

For example, men are often taught to be funny so they might present themselves on their profile or in their photos as more social and humorous than they really are. Their profiles might even have jokes.

Beware of those who aren’t really funny or are "over the top" unless you make jokes like this, too.

In photos, men might show themselves with more friends, at social gatherings, or doing activities that are more fun than they usually participate in.

Women are often taught to not be too strong or powerful because they might intimidate guys.

So in photos they often portray themselves as coy, soft, and with open facial expressions or stand with a curved or collapsed spine, giving the impression that they are more timid than they actually are.

Or they kink their neck, a form of body language that conveys a held back, held down, and held in expression, energy, and communication.

How do you appear in your photos? Do your photos really look like and convey the real you? Do they show you in your power?

RELATED: 9 Ways Your Online Dating Profile Could Be Turning Off Quality Men

Here are 3 steps to snap stellar dating profile photos that show your most authentic self so you can attract people who want to date the real you.

1. Get ready for your photo shoot.

Get together with a friend you feel super comfortable with. Choose a setting that shows your values, like outside in nature or sitting in your living room, etc.

Dress in clothes that feel good to you — pick an outfit that is flattering, but also comfortable.

Have your friend use your cell phone: Turn off the sound and open the camera app.

Both of you think about the lighting and how close or far you are from them. Positioning yourself further back is usually better; keep in mind that you can always crop your photos later.

Now, you actually want to stop thinking about taking photos for dating. See if you can completely forget.

2. Start a friendly conversation during the shoot about what makes you happy.

Have your friend ask questions to get you talking about what you love to do most. What are those activities?

Where are you and what is happening when you feel most at ease, joyful, engaged, or when you’re making a great contribution to others? 

It might be with people or when you're alone, working, being with your family, out on a weekend activity, doing a hobby, or at home reading.

Talk about this while you look at your friend snapping photos.

Make sure your friend is aware of the camera so you are in the frame. But mostly, they should maintain eye contact and be genuinely connecting with you as you answer these questions.

It is most important that you are thinking about and talking about what you love. They can ask you more questions to make it a light conversation, too.

Have your friend hold the camera near their face, but not over their eyes, and not in a position where you have too much attention on it.

You want to forget the camera and forget about dating as much as possible.

3. Take lots of photos, then select and edit the best ones.

Take a lot of photos! Maybe 50 or more.

Have your friend snap one photo after another without much attention to them. Have them do it quietly and subtly so you can ignore the camera or phone. Continue to maintain a conversation and eye contact.

Afterwards, go through the photos. Most of them will be ridiculous. Your eyes will be closed or your mouth will be open in a weird way.

But then a few of them will be amazing. You’ll be radiating the best of you —the you that is engaged, alive, passionate, and authentic.

Select one of the best, crop it if needed, and show a close-up of your face and eyes in the first or primary photo of your online dating profile.

Photos that show the real you draw in people who are genuinely interested in getting to know the best, deepest, and truest version of you.

It can feel scary to be so seen, but you are worth it. You are worth being with someone who wants to be with the authentic you.

So, include a few of these photos in your dating profile. This will allow potential dates to see and feel the real you.

Follow this online dating advice to attract the best dates and create the relationship of your dreams. You might even meet your soulmate online!

RELATED: 5 Critical Things You Need To Do To Make Your Dating Profile Pop

Laureli Shimayo is a matchmaker and conscious dating coach who matches people based on their eyes. Learn more at Thrive Types and Dating Patterns And Purpose.

Sign up for YourTango's free newsletter!