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16 Important Questions To Ask A Guy Whose Anger Gets Out Of Control

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16 Questions To Ask Your Boyfriend Or Husband & Find Out If His Anger Is A Sign Of Mental Health Issues
Self

The reasons may be deeper than you think.

Not all men develop adequate anger management skills by the time they reach adulthood, but the good news is that there are some specific questions to ask your boyfriend or husband if he often exhibits intense anger.

Doing so is important not only because his temper can take a serious toll on you and your relationship, but because it could be a sign of he struggles with deeper mental health issues, in particular, one known as "Irritable Male Syndrome."

For years I insisted I wasn’t angry. I’m a nice guy, ask anyone. Well, anyone who doesn’t know me very well and accepts the façade I grew up wearing.

But those who know me the best, including my wife Carlin, know the truth.

I was a nice guy and I am a good man, but I also have a lot of anger.

Are you the wife of an angry man with a short fuse? Do you get triggered by his anger? Does your partner's anger cause problems in your relationship?

If you answered "yes" to any of these questions, your husband may be suffering from Irritable Male Syndrome.


RELATED: ‘Man Periods’ Are Real —​ How To Know If A Guy You Love Has Irritable Male Syndrome


Irritable Male Syndrome can occur at any age, but is most prevalent in young men and in men over 40. What's more, the men who have it often aren’t aware of the extent of their anger.

Sure, everyone gets angry at times — and men are no exception. We are all human, and we all respond to unfair treatment and other injustices. We also react to frustration, criticism, and threat, whether justified or not.

But with Irritable Male Syndrome, the level of a man's hostility in response is causing problems for the man, his family, the community, and the world at large. ​


RELATED: 7 Times Your Guy's Anger Is Actually A Major Cry For Help


Here are 16 questions to your boyfriend or husband if his anger often seems out of control and is taking a toll on you and your relationship.

Note: This questionnaire was designed by researchers at Harvard University.

True or False ...

1. At times I feel like swearing.

2. At times I feel like smashing things.

3. I often can’t understand why I’ve been so irritable and grouchy.

4. At times I feel like picking a fistfight with someone.

5. I easily become impatient with people.

6. I am often said to be hot-headed.

7. I am often annoyed when someone tries to get ahead of me in a line.

8. I have at times had to be rough with people who were rude or annoying.

9. I am often sorry because I am so irritable and grouchy.

10. It makes me angry to have people hurry me.

11. I am very stubborn.

12. Sometimes I get so angry and upset, I don’t know what comes over me.

13. I have gotten angry and broken furniture or dishes when I was drinking.

14. I have become so angry with someone that I have felt as if I would explode.

15. I’ve been so angry at times that I’ve hurt someone in a physical fight.

16. I almost never lose self-control.

For questions 1–15, each "true" scores one point. For question 16, "false" scores one point.

The higher a man's total, the higher his anger level.

If you and your partner are being honest with yourselves, you both probably already know whether or not anger is a problem in your relationship.

Sometimes, just recognizing that anger is a problem can help men, as well as the women who love them, take positive action toward overcoming Irritable Male Syndrome.

And at other times, it can be a signal that you need help.


RELATED: How To Talk To A Man Who Has Serious Anger Issues (And Keep Yourself Safe)


Jed Diamond is a licensed psychotherapist with a Ph.D. in International Health and a Licensed Clinical Social Worker.

This article was originally published at menalive.com. Reprinted with permission from the author.

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