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Does it mean your relationship is over?
By Unwritten — Written on Jan 08, 2019
By Tylia Flores
In almost every relationship, meeting the family is one of the major milestones.
You know things are getting more serious when he offers to introduce you to his parents or have lunch with his grandmother. Although I haven’t always had the best track record in relationships over the years, I have met many of my ex-boyfriends’ family. Some of them were nice; others, I just didn’t hit it off with for one reason or another.
So, what happens when you don’t like your boyfriend’s fam?
It’s a sticky situation in any relationship, and it can create serious consequences for your future together.
For starters, family is a forever thing.
He’s not going to see his relatives differently just because you don’t get along with his mother. If you really want to continue the relationship but don’t hit it off with his parents and siblings, be prepared for a circus full of monkeys or fisticuffs. No matter how much you love each other, his kin just aren't leaving the picture.
Furthermore, you may find that the relationship you have with his relatives ends up impacting your relationship with him, too.
I know from first-hand experience that being with somebody whose family you don’t like can create a huge rift in your relationship. Instead of enjoying sweet, happy moments with your boyfriend, you will be constantly worrying about interacting with his relatives.
You’ll find yourself avoiding any situation where you might have to simply say “hi” to his parents.
As a result, you miss out on many intimate times with your boyfriend and his family.
In my experience, the constant battle between my opinions and my ex’s familys' ended up making me feel unworthy of being with him.
Finally, you may find that it is impossible to stay with your boyfriend if you don’t like his family because they hold different values or morals. For example, my parents raised me to always push through obstacles and arise to challenges I faced.
With one of my ex-boyfriends, though, I quickly learned that this was not how his family handled tough times. Anytime he had a problem, I encouraged him to work through and pushed him to reach his full potential.
This caused many fights because he had set his mind to doing things his way, and he wasn’t willing to see my point of view. Of course, his family agreed with him, which caused even more tension between us.
When you’re trying your best to build a life together and investing so much into a relationship but his family doesn’t like you, the relationship can actually become toxic. Eventually, you lose the spark you had with the person and no longer enjoy your time together the way you used to.
So, here’s my advice to anyone who’s currently going through this situation: If you don’t hit it off with his family, you may need to think long and hard if you should continue the relationship.
Family is forever, and no matter how far away they are, his family will impact your relationship. Not getting along with his family can literally make or break your relationship. It’s a long road full of tension and heartache if you can’t handle his closest relatives.
Tylia Flores is a writer who focuses on lifestyle, health, wellness, and relationships. You can find more of her love and dating content by visiting her author profile on Unwritten.
This article was originally published at Unwritten. Reprinted with permission from the author.