Photo: Diva Plavalaguna / Shutterstock
She had to stand up for herself.
By Nia Tipton — Written on Nov 19, 2022
A woman was left to defend herself from her fiancé's family after they continued to make disparaging remarks against her.
She posted the events that led up to the incident on the subreddit "r/AmItheA--hole" (AITA), a forum where users can seek advice and be told if they were in the wrong or not following an argument that has bothered them.
In her Reddit post, the woman explained that her fiancé, 33, comes from a "well-off family" while she, 29, grew up in a working-class household.
Her fiance’s family often calls her a 'gold digger' whenever they see that he has gifted her something.
While her fiance’s family are usually nice people, they often refer to her as being a "gold digger" who is after her fiancé's money.
"If he buys me something they'll go, 'oh Jason bought you that? You know what this looks like right?' And/or 'Wait, Jason paid for this? Only gold diggers make their partners pay for stuff all the time, just saying.'"
The woman noted that she finds these remarks "demeaning" and that her fiancé, Jason, never defends her to his family.
She pointed out that she couldn't even be a "gold digger" because her fiancé lost his job and has been unemployed for the past four months.
He has kept it a secret from his family, and she has been the one who has paid for everything while he's been out of a job.
During dinner with his family, her fiancé's mother made another belittling comment that set the woman over the edge.
While they were all eating, her fiancé’s mother saw that she was wearing a bracelet and asked if Jason had purchased it for her.
The woman said that he had, and that's when her future-mother-in-law said, "'Hmmm, wonder how much it costs?'"
"She then leaned back and said, 'You know I remember when my brother was dating this gold digger woman...she'd receive expensive stuff like this bracelet here for her birthdays,'" her fiancé’s mother told her.
The woman was left stunned at the remark and immediately jumped to her own defense, saying that she "was not a gold digger" at all.
"She threw her hands up and went, 'I mean...if the shoe fits....' while laughing awkwardly."
When the woman looked over to her fiancé to see if he would help, he only shook his head in response, which only further angered her and caused her to tell his mother that he was actually unemployed.
His entire family was shocked at the news while Jason simply "froze but looked so angry."
The woman's fiancé 'blew up' at her after they left the dinner.
After the two got in the car after the debacle, Jason "had a rage fit" and started yelling and lashing out at the woman for telling his family he didn't have a job anymore.
She rebutted, saying that she wouldn't have had to if he had defended her himself.
"I said that he sat by and let his mom [continuously] imply that I was a gold digger, but he said that they never outright called me a gold digger so it was all in my head."
He told her that she had no right to tell his family about his "unfortunate circumstance" just to "get back at his mom."
"His parents went on about how disappointed they were and now as a result, he got disinvited from Thanksgiving," she added. "[He] kept saying I screwed him over so badly when he was just an innocent bystander."
A majority of people who commented on the woman's Reddit post agreed that she was NTA (Not The A--hole).
"I think you should uninvite your fiancé from your wedding," one user wrote. "He doesn’t have your back."
"He’s willing to lie to his family for months to protect his reputation (he’s going to be willing to lie to you, too) and this won’t be the last time he blames you for the faults and actions of himself and others."
Another user wrote, "I have to ask, do you see a future with this guy? He has no loyalty to you and is content to sit by and let his family disrespect you."
"This guy was happy to watch his family be cruel to you for months without challenging it or sticking up for you when he knows full well that you’re currently the breadwinner," a third user chimed in.
Nia Tipton is a writer living in Brooklyn. She covers pop culture, social justice issues, and trending topics. Keep up with her on Instagram and Twitter.