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Man Encouraged To Dump Fiancée After She Blames His Family For 'Ruining' Their Wedding Plans

Photo: Marjan Apostolovic / Shutterstock 
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A man is facing a difficult decision after his wedding fell through due to his family’s requests.

Now, his fiancée is resentful toward his family for taking over their big day and does not want her or her future husband to have any sort of relationship with them. 

So, he's asking if he should let go of his fiancée to keep his family, or if he should tell his family to back off since they did not respect their wedding rules. 

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His fiancée blames his family after they were forced to change their entire wedding plans due to their requests. 

Sharing his story to the UK-based parenting website, Mumsnet, he asks other forum users who he should sacrifice cutting contact with. 

He revealed that he and his fiancée have always dreamed of their wedding being in Portugal since they were young. They also wanted their big day to be “child-free.” 

When the man shared his wedding plans with his family, he claims that “all h–l broke loose.” 

“My mother said she was not coming, my other family members said I was silly and stupid and should rethink as my brother and two sisters have really young kids, all under three,” he wrote. 

While the man and his fiancée arranged babysitting and accommodations for the children to be looked after during their wedding, his family members did not budge and refused their offer. 

This meant that their wedding plans had to completely change.  “We are now getting married on our own abroad and having a UK party for family,” he shared. 

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Ever since this all transpired, the man’s fiancée has been resentful toward his family. 

“My wife-to-be feels my mum has ruined the best moment/time of her life, and she will never get this back, something she has always dreamed of and my family has ruined for her,” he wrote.

“She has so much anger towards my family and even though my family has said sorry and that they would make it work, it was already ruined for us.” 

The man has expressed to his family how much they have hurt his wife-to-be and how it has put a strain on their relationship. 

“I am now arguing every day with my partner and my relationship with my family is at the lowest it has ever been,” he wrote.

“I feel like I really have no option but to be a punching bag for everyone to express how they feel, if I speak to my family my partner gets angry as it’s always wedding related, if I don’t speak to my family the relationship gets worse.” 

He added that his mother contacts him three to four times a week to discuss the upcoming wedding, which only upsets his fiancée further. 

The man feels useless at what to do at this point, as he is in the middle of his loved ones. 

“Does my partner need to calm down and realize I could lose all my family over this and work together to sort it, or do my family need to back off and realize they have ruined everything and give us space for now?” he asked other users. 

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Some users encouraged the man to break up with his fiancée. 

“For the love of God, dump her. The control she is showing is off the scale and not proportional to the argument,” one user commented. “It seems that she is trying to isolate you from your family and this will only get worse.” 

“Think very carefully before you get married. This is a preview of how your life will be - imagine family Christmasses, having children and visiting grandparents, big birthday celebrations- they’re all going to be fraught with anxiety,” another user pointed out. 

“Google 'narcissist' and then make good your escape,” another wrote. 

Others pointed out that the original wedding plans posed a problem from the start, given that man’s close relatives have children. 

“It wasn’t the most sensible plan to expect your family to go to a wedding abroad when they’d all have to leave their young kids at home!” one user wrote.  “It was obviously going to upset people!” 

“A child-free wedding abroad when your three siblings all have children under three, was never a good idea, surely?” another user noted. 

“Realistically you were a bit naive to think there’d be no fallout from essentially excluding/making it very difficult for three of your siblings and their children, your nieces and nephews,” another user shared. 

However, others believed that the man’s family should not have dictated their wedding plans. 

“Your fiancé needs to back off and forgive but your family also needs to realize they’ve ballsed up, and upset your partner and they need to shut up to allow things to begin to heal,” one user commented. 

“It sounds like you should have stuck to Portugal and they could feel their feelings, either come if they wanted or not,” another added. “Maybe your partner feels you’ve put them and their feelings over hers and that’s why she’s unhappy- I would be too; you need to support her as your future wife.” 

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Megan Quinn is a writer at YourTango who covers entertainment and news, self, love, and relationships.