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Was it a petty move?
By Megan Quinn — Written on Mar 17, 2023
A woman’s dream wedding day took an unexpected turn after she realized that her husband’s ex-girlfriend, who was invited to the celebration, turned up wearing the dress she was meant to wear to their own wedding before they called it off. Her husband’s ex claimed that she wore the dress since it fit the theme of the wedding, and did not understand their dismay.
Now, the woman is wondering if her feelings are valid since she was the one who encouraged her guests to arrive in their “fanciest” dresses.
The theme of the woman’s wedding was ‘ballroom’ so her husband’s ex-girlfriend wore her own wedding dress.
Sharing her story to the subreddit thread, r/TrueOffMyChest, the 30-year-old bride asked other users if she brought the situation on herself. She began her post by revealing that she recently married her 27-year-old husband in her dream wedding ceremony. There was only one part of the day she says ‘left a sour taste in her mouth.’
Growing up, the woman says that she always dreamed of an extravagant princess, ballroom-themed wedding. When she sent her invitations out, she encouraged her guests to wear the “nicest things” they owned, even if it meant they would “outshine” her. “I even went as far as telling the married women to wear their wedding dresses,” she admitted. “I didn't care about being outdressed. Instead, all I wanted was to fulfill the aesthetic in my head that I had for the wedding, which included everyone else looking nothing less than extravagant.”
The guest list included the woman’s husband’s ex-girlfriend, who she calls “Kate.” Kate and her husband dated in high school and were engaged for a short period of time before mutually deciding to call off the wedding. Although, they remained good friends afterwards.
While the woman shares that she is not the biggest fan of Kate due to her being gossipy and does not agree with the woman’s career choices, she still made the cut to the big day. Kate married her husband, “Jarold” the previous year.
“On a teacher's salary Kate wasn't able to afford the most luxurious wedding dress out there, but I always had the impression she was happy with it,” she wrote. “Kate does have another wedding dress from when she was going to marry my husband that her dad paid for (who has unfortunately passed now) which in terms of fanciness is a bit nicer, but obviously she didn't wear that dress to her own wedding.”
The woman assumed that Kate would wear the dress she wore to her and Jarold’s wedding. Instead, she arrived in the dress she was meant to wear to the woman’s husband’s wedding. “When I saw her I immediately went ‘what the f–k,’ but decided to just drop it because I didn't want a conflict on our wedding day,” she wrote. “My husband, however, was also confused on why she wore that one and asked her about it without me even having to tell him I was uncomfortable.”
Kate claimed that she wore the dress so that she would fit the ballroom theme of the wedding since she insisted that it was the nicest thing she owned. "Well, your wife wanted such a big princess wedding. I thought I'd wear this one because it follows the theme more, don't tell me she's upset about it, she's the one who said come in your nicest clothes and this is my nicest dress,” Kate reported to her ex.
The woman is wondering if her uneasy feelings are valid.
“I feel like I'm not allowed to be upset even though I am, and I know this is my fault, but the whole thing has really left a bad taste in my mouth,” she wrote. “I would've never been okay with her wearing that one if I'd known she was going to, and I feel like she should've asked.”
Some Reddit users validated the woman’s feelings and believed that Kate was trying to make a point by wearing that particular dress to her wedding.
“OP [original poster] is perfectly justified in feeling upset and bothered by this blatant disrespectful behavior,” one user commented. “Kate planned to do this to make a point. I think it failed, but your husband needs to talk to her about how disrespectful and ignorant her actions were to wear the dress she was going to wear at their wedding. She found a loophole and took advantage as a dig at you.”
“I’m sure Kate thought she was showing OP’s husband what he was missing. He’s more likely thankful he dodged a bullet,” another user wrote. “I’d say this backfired bc I’m sure anyone who recognized the dress probably thought she had lost her mind.”
Other users expressed their sympathies for Kate’s current husband, who most likely felt just as awkward.
“I feel sorry for Kate's husband. Kate sat next to her husband, in a wedding dress intended for her first wedding, and then told her ex it was the nicest thing she owned,” one user pointed out.
However, other users did not see the issue and were quick to remind the woman of her expectations for her guests.
“I mean, you said yourself that this dress fit the theme better and you told guests wedding dresses were acceptable so I really don’t see the problem,” one user commented. They also reminded her that she beat Kate regardless of what she wore to the wedding, since she was the one marrying Kate’s ex.
“Kate had to sit in the wedding dress she was supposed to marry your husband in and watch him marry you instead,” one user shared. “Someone took an L here and I don't think it was you.”
Megan Quinn is a writer at YourTango who covers entertainment and news, self, love, and relationships.