Woman Who Never Got To Wear Her Dream Wedding Dress After Fiancé Passed Is Told She's 'Selfish' For Not Giving It To Her Sister

Is she wrong for not letting her sister borrow the dress?

Bride Orione Conceição / Pexels

A 28-year-old woman made a post on the subreddit r/AmITheA--hole to ask for unbiased opinions after a situation involving a wedding dress that her sister wanted to wear left her feeling guilty.

The woman explains that her fiancé got into an accident at a bachelor party and passed away when she was 15 weeks pregnant with their son.

Her husband didn’t leave many sentimental items behind, aside from a wedding dress that he picked out for her. “He said that when he imagined our wedding, he imagined me in a dress like that one,” she writes.


She planned on keeping the wedding dress until her child was old enough to wear it one day, yet doubts that her now 4-year-old son will ever want to wear it.

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Her sister is getting married and asked if she would be able to wear the dress for her wedding. 

She goes on to explain that her 25-year-old sister called to ask if she could wear the dress because she is getting married in the fall.

Since she chose it and planned on passing it down to her son, she explained to her sister that she was uncomfortable with letting her wear it.


Her sister responded with confusion, explaining that using the dress for her wedding would do it more justice than storing it in a box – waiting for her son to wear it one day – which she doubted he ever would.

“She said that she doubted my son would ever actually wear the thing and that I’m doing my fiancé an injustice by letting the dress he picked sit in a box collecting dust,” she writes. “I told her again that I wouldn’t be letting her borrow it and then hung up.”

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Her mom called her selfish for not letting her sister borrow the dress.

Their mother called to say that her sister was hurt “because she had her heart set on the dress,” and wanted to share this special moment with her.


She explains that she told her mom she would be more than willing to go dress shopping with her which could be their special moment.

“My mother told me that I’m being selfish and that I should be happy that someone will actually get to walk down the aisle in my dress. Still though, I told her I wasn’t changing my mind,” she explains.

She ended the post with “I’m not really second guessing my decision but I am feeling a little guilty about it,” asking Redditors for their opinion on the situation.

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Redditors agreed that she was not in the wrong for wanting to keep such a sentimental item.

“The dress is yours. Even if it’s only there for you to look at or hold or keep in your closet and will never be worn again. It’s a connection to the man you were so close to marrying and the life you had planned together. Your sister is not honoring you or your fiancé by guilting you into letting her wear it. Quite the opposite,” one says.


Others pointed out that the dress still holds a sacred memory, and even if the woman's son never wears the dress, he will be grateful to remember his father by it one day.

“Your son will appreciate it so much, because it’s clear it means so much to you, you’ll tell him the story of his dad picking it out for you and he’ll grow up knowing your love story. You’ll be able to tell him material things didn’t mean much to your fiancé and that’s why you don’t have more, and that’s why you wanted to save it for him,” another Redditor writes.

“He won’t care what the item is. All that matters is you’re saving it for him. That you want him to have something to connect him to his dad. That is so beautiful.”


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Maddie Haley is a writer for YourTango's news and entertainment team. She covers pop culture and celebrity news.