Your Parents Raised You Right If You Avoid Saying These 11 Phrases At Work
While some of these things may be true, there is a proper time and place. Read the room.
Dean Drobot / Shutterstock While some things are okay to say in a casual setting, they don't belong in a professional environment. Whether you are new in your career or an experienced professional, the way you speak can shape how others perceive you.
People who were raised with respect, self-awareness, and emotional intelligence steer clear of any phrases that would cause their professional peers to view them in a negative light at work. They avoid using them because they have grown up in a home filled with emotional maturity and respect for others. People who choose not to say these things have the kinds of values that help them thrive.
Your parents raised you right if you avoid saying these 11 phrases at work
1. 'That's not my job'
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Refusing to help with a project, shutting down any possibility of collaboration, or believing that you are "too good" for particular tasks can make you seem uncooperative. Even at times when a task falls outside of your job description, you can express a willingness to help or respectfully redirect someone to the right person.
With that said, there are places of employment that take advantage of an employee's willingness to go above and beyond while never compensating them fairly. On the job, you should not consistently be performing duties outside of your job description. On a project, this is called "scope creep", a situation where the project's requirements or deliverables have shifted. It should be called out in an appropriate manner, ideally to HR.
2. 'I don't get paid enough for this'
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Let's be real. A lot of people are overworked and underpaid at work. The company either doesn't have the budget to pay or doesn't value the workforce they have created. But even if that is true, announcing to everyone within earshot that you don't get paid enough to do your job is not the best way to get what you are worth.
While this phrase can create negativity around you and resentment toward you, even considering saying it points out a need for constructive dialogue with your employer. To prepare, compare your salary to industry standards for your job, years of experience, and geographic location. If your pay falls below the median, you might be underpaid. Address it privately with your manager or supervisor, and escalate it to HR if they don't take action. Remember that some companies will refuse to make it right, no matter what evidence you have. In that case, you have to know when it's time to move on to new things.
3. 'We've always done it this way'
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A telltale sign of a person who is unwilling to evolve and do better is their claim that something has always been done in a particular way and doesn't need to be changed. They are satisfied with the status quo and see no need to fix what isn't broken. This phrase shuts down innovation and keeps people from changing with the times.
But good parents raise children who are open-minded, agile, and growth-oriented. Instead of stopping creativity in its tracks, they are curious about the possibilities and always ready to learn something new. Being a long-tenured employee at an organization is only a benefit if you are viewed as an asset, not a liability. Being open to change is the best way to raise your value.
4. 'I'm just here for the paycheck'
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I'll be the first to admit that I've said this before at work. In my younger years, it even came back to bite me when my supervisor quoted what I had said to colleagues. Adulting is knowing that while honesty has its place, saying out loud that you truly don't care about the work you are doing sends a clear signal that you might not be the best fit.
The most valuable lesson I've learned is that money isn't everything. I'd take less to do something I love to do than get rich off something I despise. This phrase shows a lack of passion and purpose. Employers and coworkers alike appreciate people who care about their contributions and are not just clock-watching. The most rewarding thing you can do is make an income while making an impact.
5. 'No offense, but...'
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If someone starts a statement with "No offense, but..." prepare to be offended. This idiom is intended to minimize their culpability in how you feel about what they have to say. It usually precedes something very offensive that could have been better left unsaid. If you have to qualify a comment with this, you are probably letting your intrusive thoughts win.
If you are a person whose parents helped you to develop strong interpersonal skills, you know how to provide feedback in a way that is respectful and constructive. You don't need a disclaimer to hide your disdain because you can reframe negative thoughts into words that inspire and encourage.
6. 'That's above my pay grade'
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Telling someone that a task is above your pay grade is just another way of saying that it is not your job. Again, you are saying that you are not paid enough to do what is being asked of you. It comes off as dismissive and, in some cases, lazy if you are being asked to do something that might grow and stretch you professionally.
Stretch goals are intended to push people beyond their normal limits. They are intentionally hard because they require you to be innovative and to strive for more. However, if this stretching is just a way to save the company money by getting free labor out of you, it is not in good faith and should be addressed accordingly.
7. 'I didn't sign up for this'
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To be fair, most professional engagements come with a contract or job offer that clearly lays out the scope of your work. So, there may be things asked of you that you literally never signed up for. It's important to remember that every job description or consulting agreement cannot possibly encompass all aspects. They usually require some flexibility within reason.
In those cases, saying that you didn't sign up for a particular task suggests that you are unwilling to adapt, and that assumption can damage your professional reputation beyond repair. As long as it's reasonable, flexibility can set you apart from the average professional.
8. 'It's not my fault'
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There will be some things that happen in your professional life that you are truly not to blame for. But it's not about what you say, but how you say it. Whining that something is not your fault shows a level of immaturity. Instead of discussing where things went off the rails in a productive manner, you have chosen to remove yourself altogether.
People who have been reared with accountability don't have to throw other people under the bus to show that they are not responsible for something negative that occurred. They can acknowledge issues in a way that fosters collaborations, teaches valuable lessons, and pulls a team together instead of ripping them apart.
9. 'This might be a stupid question, but..."
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The only stupid question is the one that goes unasked. People who are not confident lead with this statement before seeking knowledge. They are afraid of being judged for not knowing, so they undermine themselves before they can even ask. To the person on the other end of the interaction, they seem unsure and weak.
If you had a healthy upbringing, you are comfortable asking anything that piques your curiosity. Your parents did a wonderful job of making you feel comfortable enough to speak without being judged. Research suggests that people who ask questions tend to be more successful in every part of life.
10. 'You should have...'
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It's easy to judge someone's actions after they have already taken place. Hindsight is always 20/20. Many people do this to seem smarter than their peers without actually having to test their knowledge. It's a way to pass judgment when you have not taken on any risk. But finger-pointing does nothing to help. It just makes you seem like a pretentious know-it-all.
If your parents taught you anything, one of the most valuable lessons should have been how to move beyond past mistakes instead of dwelling on them. Instead of redlining every error, you offer solutions and collaboration. You are solutions-oriented and dedicated to getting the whole team across the finish line.
11. 'I'm too busy'
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Sure, there will be times that you are much too busy at work and don't have the bandwidth to put another thing on your plate. But this phrase can sound dismissive of other people's priorities. The way that you respond to a demand on your time and energy can make or break a professional relationship.
A better and more productive response would be something like, "I am at full capacity right now, but would love to help. Let's find a time to delegate this and get you the support you need." And just like that, you have become an asset instead of a liability. You didn't even have to do the work to be considered part of its success.
NyRee Ausler is a writer from Seattle, Washington, and the author of seven books. She focuses on lifestyle and human interest stories that deliver informative and actionable guidance on interpersonal relationships, enlightenment, and self-discovery.
