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Got grudges?
By Emily Francos — Written on Aug 02, 2020
We all hold grudges many times in our life. It's sometimes very difficult to let go sometimes.
Sometimes it takes time, or apologies, or you may just let it go, but everyone handles their hurt in different ways.
You just have to do what is best for you — and what's best for you may depend on your personality type.
What Myers-Briggs personality types hold grudges?
While some Myers-Briggs personality types seem to be able to brush things off right away, others tend to hold on to their hurt and take their sweet time forgiving and forgetting.
ENFJ
ENFJs sometimes hold grudges. They usually hold a grudge when they have to be near anyone they do not like. They will try to be nice because they don't want to be seen as rude.
But they only hold a grudge when someone does them wrong in a major way. They don't hold grudges for little things.
They are leaders and ENFJs like to inspire others to be the best they can be. They believe that everyone should be their authentic self. As a genuinely caring person, they like the idea that they can help others become better versions of themselves.
ENTJ
ENTJs value trust, and when their trust is broken, then they can hold a grudge. They only hold grudges as a way of protecting themselves from being betrayed again.
They are very dominant people and they can be relentless. So, if they feel challenged, then they will do whatever it takes to come out on top. They don't handle emotional situations well and they can overpower the other person's feelings when they try to protect themselves from being hurt.
ESTP
ESTPs can hold a mean grudge. But when they hold a grudge, it usually means that they still care about the person who has committed the wrongdoing.
The ESTP must stop caring for them to not hold a grudge anymore. And if their trust is betrayed, they will struggle to forgive anyone who hurts them.
ESTPs make direct impacts on the environment around them. They often get caught up in the moment with passion and can sometimes overpower someone else's needs and wants.
INFJ
INFJs will forgive to a certain extent and they will give their loved ones many attempts and chances to change until someone gets fed up with the way they are acting.
Once they have had enough, INFJs will remove that person from their life completely and permanently. They cut these people out of their life because they don't want to be hurt or used anymore.
INFJs have that part of themselves that know when they need to step back and take care of themselves. They try to avoid confrontations in any way possible. They just never want to hurt someone.
ISTJ
ISTJs truly hold a grudge when they are deeply hurt. They will remove this person from their life immediately. It's also hard for ISTJs to trust so they have a hard time letting someone in, so once they do and they are hurt, then they have an even harder time trusting people when they are betrayed.
ISTJs are very calm, practical, and reasonable for the most part in their daily life. But they can be a bit judgmental and hard on themselves. They often feel responsible for lots of situations. So, when something fails that they are a part of, they blame themselves.
So, with a grudge, they probably blame themselves a lot of the time for letting themselves get hurt.
ESTJ
ESTJs also hold really strong grudges even though they want to forgive. And they may forgive (eventually), but they may not trust that person ever again.
ESTJs are very strong-willed people and they don't give in at all. But this can come off as being super stubborn and judgmental. But they have to do what's best for them to take care of themselves.
ISFJ
ISFJs do not like negativity but they can hold some major grudges. They are willing to forgive though if the person who has wronged them apologizes and makes amends. But it takes a lot for an ISFJ to really let things go.
They are very loyal to the point when they are hurt. They hide their feelings but once they reach the point where they have had enough, they will not back down.
INTJ
INTJs don't necessarily hold grudges but they will cut people out of their lives if they are not loyal or worth their time. INTJs want people around them that they can trust and connect with on a much deeper level so they can remove people from their lives who they do not benefit having in their life.
INTJs are very open-minded people. But once they are hurt, they can hate someone with such a passion that they will not be able to shake for a long time.
ESFJ
ESFJs try not to hold grudges because they would prefer to let things go. But, ESFJs can inadvertently hold grudges without even realizing sometimes. They may not even understand their own feelings. They must face these feelings to be able to overcome their grudges.
ESFJs are very loyal and they have a strong sense of duty, but when they are hurt, they become vulnerable and reluctant to change. This is how they become defensive and protect themselves from being hurt again.
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Emily Francos is a writer who covers relationships, pop culture, and news topics.