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This is how to recognize the people who are meant to stay in your life forever.
By The Mind's Journal — Last updated on Aug 15, 2023
By Mykh Goldstein
In life, it is the small gestures that are the most important. Thanks to the internet, we have multitudes of people we can be friends with. With all these advancements, it only seems natural that we keep even our most personal relationships displayed on the internet.
However, there is something we need to think about. Besides those who are related to us by blood and marriage, do we actually give importance to even a few of the many friendships we’ve gathered online?
Technology has advanced a great deal in an effort to bring human beings closer to each other and at times it succeeds. It has even managed to save lives. But there are also times when spending life behind an electronic screen can make us feel devastatingly lonely and makes us ask, what is friendship?
According to Psychology Today, friends are instrumental when it comes to fighting loneliness, decreasing anxiety, and improving physical health. Though online friendships can help as well, human beings need something more to survive. We need our human connections to feel genuine.
So how can we figure out who knows how to be a good friend "IRL" (in real life)?
Luckily there are always indicators, some of them very subtle. They’ll show you that some of your friends are always there for you, helping you out. While getting messages can make you happy, those words also need to be backed by actions that cannot be performed in front of a screen.
These are the signs of true friends you should look for so that you can be sure that people mean it when they say they love you. All of us should be working on doing these things because they are only normal ways to show another person how you feel about them.
Here are 6 simple ways to tell which friends genuinely care about you IRL:
1. Who surprises you with a visit?
YourTango and Ford Motor Company teamed up in 2020 to do research and found that more than half the volunteers in their study felt very cared for when their friends dropped by for surprise visits. Think about your loved one’s expression when you last visited them. Even if you message each other all day every day, it will never match up to the real thing.
Research has also proven that being around those we care about makes us happier and contributes to our well-being.
2. Who tells you exciting things over the phone rather than just sending a text?
Having an entire conversation in emoticons is a lot of fun and most of us feel smart when we can convey complicated news using only them.
While that’s fun, studies have shown that the majority of people, even in this day and age, like it when they hear good news over a phone call and they can shout out their praise from their side. It is really adorable when you’re chanting out your congratulations over the phone to the friend you got drunk with in college.
3. Who invites you for weekend getaways?
More than half the grown-ups on this planet are forever looking to make memories while doing some amazing things. Staying in and ordering food online is definitely a lot of fun but imagine yourself getting into your car, playing some good music, and driving off to wherever you want to go. It’s a great feeling, yeah?
Another thing you should keep in mind is that loneliness will take you to an early grave so stay in touch with the people you love. Go out and have incredible experiences with whatever is in your budget.
4. Who focuses their full attention on you?
Doing a lot of things at the same time can make you feel productive but at the same time, it is also stressing you out. Shut down your PC, turn off your phone, and just go out. When you’re having a conversation, be it virtual or in real life, the other person should be fully focused on you. This shows you how much importance they give to your relationship and you should also reciprocate.
Don’t do something bizarre like staring at them without pausing to blink. Just put away whatever it is you’re doing and be invested in the conversation.
5. Who tells you that they love you?
We have some friends who have been there for as long as we can remember. They’ve grown up along with us and been there for all the important moments. They know all our secrets and we’d trust them with our lives.
But do we take the time to let them know how much we love them? If you love someone or if someone loves you, be it romantic or platonic, you should be vocal about your feelings. While it is necessary to also treat them in a loving manner at all times, it just makes it all the more meaningful when you meet their gaze and let them know how much you love them.
6. Who is there for you when you're in trouble?
Life is unpredictable and you never know when it is going to trip you up. If you’re in a tough spot or you know someone else who is, work on building up a support system that will be there for those who are struggling.
Posting on Instagram can make you feel nice for a while but sometimes it would help a lot more if they actually answer their phone. Be there when someone needs help and expect the same from your own friends. Soothe their worries, make sure that they eat well, and stay till they climb back out of their pit.
Keep your friends in touch in real life.
This becomes harder after people have started families of their own and they’ve moved away but do your best. You can all change each other’s lives if you just make that extra effort. The world itself would be a better place if we could all learn to stay connected to each other.
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Mykh Goldstein is a writer, artist, blogger, and former contributor to The Mind's Journal.
This article was originally published at The Mind's Journal. Reprinted with permission from the author.