The Kind Of Flirting He Loves, Based On His Personality Type

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How To Flirt With Each Myers Briggs Personality Type

Flirting is a natural part of romantic interaction. It's also very important, because it's a good indication that someone likes us (and a good way for us to let that certain someone know that we like them). People usually use flirting as a way to communicate interest in another person and wanting a deeper relationship with that person. 

Although flirting is seen as fun and playful, it's actually a lot more complicated than that. People flirt in many different ways. Flirting can include written or verbal forms of communication. Body language can also indicate flirting. It can happen openly or be more subtle. Some are natural flirters and there are others who may feel a little awkward about the whole thing or just prefer to be more subdued when it comes to their flirting techniques. 

Also, depending on your personality, you can be attracted to a specific kind of flirting, while another kind may totally turn you off. While some people love showy displays of affection, there are others who appreciate the more understated approach to it. What you like can all come down to your specific Myers Briggs personality type. Each type has their own style of flirting as well as what kind of flirting style that they prefer from another person. 

So how do you know how to flirt with that special someone you've got your eye on will like best? Here's the kind of flirting he will absolutely love, based on his personality type.


An ISTP is a very physical, spontaneous person. Hardly the traditional type when it comes to love, he prefers to live in the moment and craves fun, carefree connections. It's not surprising that this type likes physical flirtation, because they're physical people in general. They like to be engaged in physical activities all the time and physical touch is a huge, important part of their romantic relationships.

An ISTP doesn't go for pick-up lines, but they will be tuned into body language cues. Actions such as a small touch on his arm or the batting of your eyelashes will immediately gain his attention. Physical flirting may be the boldest kind of flirting, but an ISTP loves someone who is confident when it comes to flirting and just dives right in.

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This type has a hard time with the act of flirting. They're sensitive individuals who aren't usually willing to open up to a possible romantic encounter right away. However, this isn't to say that he doesn't want love in his life and that he's not up for some gentle flirting. He just wants you to be the one to do the talking.

Something that's really great about this type is that they're amazing listeners, so they'll be interested in anything you tell them about yourself. They'll take it all in — and they'll remember it, too.

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This type is naturally playful, so they like to keep their flirting that way, too. Relationships are lighthearted and joyful for an ESTP, so some playful flirting will definitely draw him in. 

Similar to this type's view on life, flirting is just for fun. It's a no-strings-attached kind of situation. There are no hidden intentions with an ESTP — they simply find flirting to be fun. So, playful teasing and cheesy little jokes are the way to go. An ESTP is always ready to laugh and smile, so a flirter who can laugh along with him is certainly his type.

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They're chameleons when it comes to flirting. An ESFP is so free-spirited that he just goes with the flow when it comes to the art of flirting. 

This type changes their minds a lot, so they can easily attract someone by adapting their flirtation style to that particular person. In other words don't be afraid to be you and be as quirky and spontaneous as you want to be, because this guy loves a woman who is comfortable with who she is and has her own unique style of flirting.

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He prefers traditional values and the conventional type of dating, which means that his ideal flirting style will also be conservative. He's not big on pick-up lines or playful teasing but will respond better to a more reserved flirtation method. He gravitates towards the polite style of flirting — the kind that's based on proper manners and non-physical communication. This shows an ISTJ that a potential romantic partner desires the same type of stable, traditional connection that they do. 

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This type can be incredibly shy, especially in romantic situations. However, despite their shyness, an ISFJ is most comfortable when they can just be themselves. So although they'll feel nervous when flirting, you know that they'll always be honest with you. In turn, he will appreciate the same honesty in your flirting style.

He really goes for flirting that's tender and sweet, but also very open. The best part about flirting with an ISFJ is that you know that you can be yourself with him always.

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When an ESTJ flirts, they're in no rush. They like to take things slow and steady, which is a testament to their desire for stable, long-term commitments. However, they're also surprisingly energetic and passionate people. As much as they like an honest conversation, they also don't mind some light physical contact. Lightly touching his arm or covertly brushing up against him will be sure to get his heart racing.

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Perhaps you've been yearning for the chivalrous days of dating before modern methods like apps came along. Where are all the men who are into this conventional approach to love? Well, he's out there! Turns out, he's an ESFJ.

ESFJs are true old-fashioned gentlemen types. They follow traditional rules when it comes to dating. He adheres to the traditional flirting style as well. You can expect him to prefer that old-school type of courtship with good manners, character, and behaving in a ladylike or gentleman-like fashion.

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This type flirts in a genuine and straightforward way. They have no time or use for playful flirting styles. They want to sense that there's the possibility of having a true connection or else they feel as if they're wasting their time.

He'll respond best to the sincere flirting style. In order to keep an INFJ's attention, you have to display a sincere interest in them and they will show you that same integrity right back.

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10. INFP

An INFP is passionate and romantic with an imagination to rival any other type. It isn't difficult for them to get lost in their romantic fantasies, so flirting with this type is a very exciting and unique prospect.

Since INFPs are such creative daydreamers, you can be as quirky as you want to be with your flirting. He'll absolutely love it. They enjoy a flirter who isn't afraid to indulge their romantic sides with tender words, little kisses, and even some sentimental poetry. Why not? Anything's possible when you have the imagination of an INFP.

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11. ENFJ

This type tends to wear its heart on its sleeve when it comes to love. An ENFJ lays out all of their emotions on the table. When he finds someone he likes, he's always willing to go all in. Flirting is almost like an art form for an ENFJ. They're eager to please and have no problem being showered with that same affection right back.

When flirting with this type, you really get the full experience. They love affectionate flirting methods but also desire an emotional connection. 

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12. ENFP

This type was born to be a flirter. They're simply irresistible. People are instantly drawn to an ENFP's natural charm and warm personality. 

However, being a natural-born flirter can come with its downsides. An ENFP has had to learn to separate different kinds of flirters and will always gravitate towards someone who's willing to make a sincere attempt at connecting. Although he loves to flirt since it comes so naturally to him, he really goes for someone who shares his true desire for a deeper, more romantic type of flirting style.

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13. INTJ

This may be the trickiest type to figure out when it comes to flirting. INTJs live their lives by a certain set of rules and logic. Everything must be analyzed and determined with exact precision. Compatibility is obviously very important to an INTJ, so skip any kind of playful flirting around them. They won't respond to that style as they believe it to be a waste of their time. However, they're far from the old-fashioned type as they strongly dislike chivalry, so the traditional style of flirting won't work for them either. 

So, then how should you attract an INTJ? Although they come off as really intense, this type does want to have a good relationship be a part of their lives.

He will only respond to flirting that's straightforward and to someone who makes it crystal clear what their goals, ambitions, and passions are in life. An INTJ will always lean toward someone who shares in their stoic delight for planning and evaluating every little detail, including in the process of love and dating.

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14. INTP

Romance is super exciting for an INTP and it tends to bring out their playful side. This type is comprised of intellectuals, so witty word-play and engrossing conversations are all a part of their flirting style and will immediately grab their attention.

The written flirting style is the best way to go. Since INTPs love words so much, sweet texts, emails, or little notes will make their hearts race. And if you really want to get serious in your flirting, some passionate poetry will definitely not hurt. While most types might consider it cheesy, an INTP never takes words of affection lightly. 

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15. ENTJ

An ENTJ has a natural alpha personality. They're enthusiastic about love and enjoy taking the lead when it comes to relationships. This type can appear intimidating to flirt with for some people, but its just an instinctive part of who they are. 

Despite their powerful presences, ENTJs actually like someone who offers a lighter touch when it comes to their flirting style. It's sort of an "opposites attract" situation with this type. Since their personalities are so fiery and dominating, they need someone who will help to balance out these qualities. A gentle approach to flirting is the kind he'll fall hard for.

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16. ENTP

ENTPs are anything but boring, meaning that flirting with one is sure to be an exciting, one-of-a-kind experience. It's true to this type's personality to always be looking for new ways to improve and grow, so their flirting style will change throughout time. They like to keep things fresh and fun, so you can be as eccentric as you want with your flirting. 

Flirting with him is a blast because you'll never know what quite to expect. One day, he could use the old-school, traditional approach and the next he could be sending you some playful, steamy texts. Bringing a certain wit and fearlessness to your flirting style is ideal since he likes to change it up and won't be able to resist someone who's able to keep up with the challenge of switching their flirting techniques.

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Sloane Solomon is a YourTango editor and writer who covers pop culture, lifestyle topics, and love and relationships.