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Give yourself a break!
By Christine Schoenwald — Written on Dec 04, 2017
When you’re too hard on yourself, you can be blind to some of your best traits and qualities, even when your horoscope tells you. People who are self-critical tend to zero in on their failures and what they haven’t accomplished rather than what they have. They don’t celebrate their successes nearly enough.
They’re obsessed with their mistakes and can dwell on them for a very long time. Mistakes are great because we not only learn how to improve upon the thing we screwed up, but we also learn about ourselves.
But when you hang on to your mistakes, it prevents you from moving on and stagnates you. You don’t feel good about yourself and it’s difficult for you to accept compliments because you think people have ulterior motives. When you’re overly critical of yourself, you tend not to treat yourself well because you think you don’t deserve kindness and care.
When you’re hyper-critical, you tend to dismiss your ideas. You feel that they’re not good enough or even worth considering when they might actually be brilliant. Being hard on yourself means having impossibly high standards and not treating yourself with compassion when you don’t reach them.
It’s hard to stay positive when you’re so hard on yourself. Instead of beating yourself up, try to appreciate all the good things that make you who you are. And you can do that through astrology and what the stars have to say about the most self-critical zodiac signs, ranked from most to least.
1. VIRGO (August 23 - September 22)
Of course, when it comes to being overly hard on yourself, Virgo is at the top of the list. You're self-critical to the point where you almost always overthink your actions — not just the mistakes that you might make, but your past failures and faux pas.
Your standards are so high for yourself that it borders on self-abuse. You really need to let up and allow yourself to be good enough. You may not be perfect but you're damn good if only you could see it.
2. CAPRICORN (December 22 - January 19)
Capricorns are so hard on themselves that they'd probably be mad for ranking number two on this list. When you put so much pressure on yourself to be better and work harder than everyone else, it can be damaging.
Capricorns have many admirable qualities and they don't have to be perfect for other people to like them. But being liked by other people isn't the real problem, it's being liked by themselves. If they'd relax a little, they might be able to see how amazing they really are.
3. LIBRA (September 23 - October 22)
Libras want to be liked, and they figure that the best way to be liked is to be without flaws. In other words, they're constantly setting themselves up for failure.
Libras try to appear calm and charming so that no one sees their self-doubt and negative feelings about themselves. The truth is, most people do like them and it's not because they're perfect or they never make mistakes; actually, people like Libras because of their humanity, not their supposed perfection.
4. AQUARIUS (January 20 - February 18)
Aquarians put a lot of effort into appearing as if they don't care what other people like about them, but in reality, they care way too much. There's a split between how they want to be accepted for being nonconformists and wanting to fit in.
Sure, they love to be independent, but they can't help going to that place where they think they're alone because there's something wrong with them. Aquarians need to stop worrying so much and just embrace their eccentric selves.
5. SCORPIO (October 23 - November 21)
Scorpios thinking is that if they're critical of themselves first, then it will take the sting out of when people are finding fault with them later. The problem with this plan is that Scorpios are much more critical of themselves than other people and that level of negative self-judgment is damaging, not protective.
When you don't believe that you're worthy of love, it can lead to jealousy and paranoid behavior.
6. CANCER (June 21 - July 22)
When Cancers are hard on themselves, it's usually the result of a relationship that didn't work out. Cancers assume that it was something they did or lacked, and they spend hours, if not longer, trying to figure out how they failed.
They don't seem to realize that sometimes it's nobody's fault and it's not because someone was lacking in any way, it just wasn't meant to be.
7. LEO (July 23 - August 22)
The last thing that Leo wants is a witness to when they're being hard on themselves. It's not that they think being self-critical is a sign of weakness, they just don't want to share their most vulnerable moments with anyone they don't trust implicitly.
When something didn't turn out in the way that Leo wished it had, they will think about how they could have done it better and what they could do in the future to prevent it from happening the wrong way again. Leos have high standards for themselves, they just don't want other people to be aware of them.
8. GEMINI (May 21 - June 20)
When a Gemini is hard on themselves, it's usually because they feel they failed someone in some way and they're eaten up by guilt.
It doesn't even have to be anything that huge or controllable; if Gemini feels that something they did upset someone else, they'll emotionally beat themselves up. They want to be the very best version of themselves for the people they love.
9. PISCES (February 19 - March 20)
For a sign that is so sensitive, Pisces are not that self-critical. They're hard on themselves if they didn't finish a project or they were late for work five days in a row, but anything having to do with their character or their self, not so much.
Pisces are very empathetic and they're able to be compassionate with themselves — they strive to be better each day. They try not to beat themselves up as that would get in the way of their creativity.
10. ARIES (March 21 - April 19)
Aries are much too busy to dwell on their mistakes and failings. They will focus their negative feelings on new challenges and conquests.
Aries believe they prove their worthiness every day and if other people don't see it, that's their problem. If Aries thought too much about how they fail, they'd never do anything, and what would be the point of that?
11. TAURUS (April 20 - May 20)
Taureans have already done the work and have very healthy self-esteem. They tend to not worry about what they did wrong or what other people think of them. They try to learn whatever it is they needed to learn and move on.
Taurus is patient and they know that change takes time. It's pointless to be too self-critical since they like the way they are right now. If someone wants to work on themselves so they're worthy enough for Taurus, that's cool.
12. SAGITTARIUS (November 22 - December 21)
What do Sagittarians hate more than anything? Being tied-down. What does being overly critical of one's self do? It can make you immobile and afraid to act, especially if you have to overthink every action before you do it and that's not something that a Sagittarius individual goes for.
Sagittarius has a healthy sense of self and they don't want to spend too much time thinking of woulda, shoulda, or coulda when they could be out experiencing new things.
Christine Schoenwald is a writer, performer, and teacher who loves writing and performing personal narratives. She's had pieces in The Los Angeles Times, Salon, Woman's Day, Purple Clover, Bustle, and is a regular contributor to Ravishly and YourTango. Check out her website or her Facebook page.