The 4 BEST Adult Coloring Books (And By Adult, We Mean ADULT)

sexy adult coloring books

There's definitely an art to sex.

When I was a riotous youth, my guilty pleasure were really guilty.

I would stay out too late screaming along to music at bars with my friends and drinking gold-fish bowl sized goblets of Scotch to recover from online dating.

I would wake up in the mornings after sex with a stranger clutching an empty bag of potato chips next to some guy whose name I only remembered because drunk Becca had the foresight to write his name on his own forehead. 

Luckily, I have mellowed with age, and while I still love a good scotch, it's usually in a sensible glass and followed rapidly by bedtime.

These days my guiltiest pleasures are spending too much money on Etsy, working on novelty cross stitch projects, giving my cat new middle names (currently, it's Tyrese), and coloring in adult coloring books. I don't mean adult like "yeah man, pass the crayolas, I GOTS to color in this dong, ASAP!"

I mean adult like, not for children. 

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Adult coloring books are the shit. It's just that simple.

Show me a woman who would not enjoy ditching online dating and sitting down with some Real Housewives on the background, a glass of wine at the ready, and a beautiful coloring book to play with and I will very much show you a liar. 

Adult coloring books are zen, they are soothing, and they are artistic in their own way.

You're putting color where there was nothing before, and unlike other fancy lady hobbies like getting your makeup done or taking elaborate bubble baths, when you're done for the day you have a finished product to show for it! I am all about finished products, y'all.

Plus you don't have to be good at art to be successful at adult coloring books. In fact, I got so good at coloring (in the lines and everything) that I became convinced I could draw. I went to a still life studio class and I am delighted to report that I have never been more wrong.

Coloring is not drawing. It is coloring, and that's all, and that's FINE.

I even found out there's a service that will MAIL you new books and colors right to your door! (Coupled with Amazon Prime, I now never have to leave the house.) 

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So, while we're at it, here's a look at some of my current favorite sexy adult coloring books:

1.  The Kinky Coloring Book

You know what's awesome? Kinky sex. You know what's even more awesome? A truly "adult" adult coloring book of the kinky variety. Get on this. 

2. Genital World: Anti-Stress Art Therapy for Busy People with a Sense of Humor
Do you love penises, vaginas, and hate boredom? Then boy do vagina+coloring+book">we have a coloring book for you! Decompress and color your world with genitals! There's someting for everyone in here, provided the people in your life really love dicks and vulvas. 
3. Coloring for Grown-Ups: The Adult Activity Book
Love sex, love awkward situations and love laughter? Then this is the coloring and activity book for you! It's aimed at the misadventures of the average millenial, but you don't have to be a mill to love this book.
4. Coloring Book: Sex Positions
The cover of this coloring book might look tame, but that's only because it is frowned up in polite circles to have books featuring double penetration on the front cover. If you like your coloring books with a side of raunch, this one is for you.