Wine Condoms EXIST And Winos Are Gonna LOVE 'Em

wine condoms

Safe sex, safe wine.

Who says getting drunk is stupid?

Because wine condoms are proof that sometimes when you get wasted, genius strikes. 

Yes, I said wine condoms.

But you don't put these rubbers on a penis. These condoms are designed to slip over the neck of your wine on those evenings you've had just enough of the bottle's contents to make searching for the cork impossible. 

You slip the wine condom over the bottle's neck the way you would slip a condom over a penis. Except less awkwardly and with less sensual lip-biting, because you are interacting with a wine bottle and not a penis you are hopefully about to get freaky with.

Wine Condoms

You just KNOW wine condoms were invented when some poor drunk soul put an actual condom for a penis on her wine bottle and then called it a night. 

This product really begs an important question, too. Are there other things in my life that I could be using condoms for? 

If they weren't covered in spermicide and/or lube I would have no problem using a condom to carry about like, my spare quarters on those days I'm trudging to the laundromat. There's something sort of cutely medieval about a tiny satchel of coins, no?

The options don't just stop there either. Can't find your shower cap and terrifying of damaging that amazing new blowout? 

Pop a condom on your head. 

Wine Condoms

Run out of plastic wrap and need something to cover up that bowl of leftovers? Why, this condom will provide the perfect air tight seal! 

Who knew that something we use to keep a penis from spurting out baby-making fluids into our vaginas could serve so many other purposes? 

Not me, that's for sure. 

Other uses for a condom other than penis protection? Make a stress ball! Fun! 

The wine condom will be a great treat to present your drunken friends on a whim. Better yet, use the first one without telling her and see how long it takes her to put together the pieces when she wakes up and spots a sexy black condom on last night's bottle of vino. 

Wine condoms: the gift that keeps on giving and also makes you think about a penis. What's not to love