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Don't get it twisted.
By Bob Alaburda — Written on Nov 08, 2022
If there's one true stereotype about men, it's that they don't do subtlety. Dropping hints or sending mixed signals can kill your chances with a guy.
When you're crushing hard on a dude, being direct is your best bet. But it can be tough. Self-doubt can cause you to overthink it.
Or, maybe you're sending mixed messages without even realizing it.
Here are seven ways you're sending mixed signals to him (without even realizing it):
1. Playing hard to get
This is based on the theory that men are hunters and women are our prey. That, like a predator, we will chase anything that runs.
I suppose it's up to you to decide if you want to attract someone who thinks that way, but otherwise, you'll get much further by not thinking of us in the same light as the cheetah at the local zoo.
2. Inviting him out with friends
Is he just one of your friends, or something more? Inviting him out with your friends says you don't want one-on-one time, or you think of him as just a friend (cue Biz Markie).
3. Ignoring him in a group
This is basically numbers 1 and 2 combined, and it's a double whammy. Starving him for attention isn't going to make him want you more; it's only going to make him find someone else who will give it to him.
4. Trying to make him jealous
The myth "we want what we can't have" isn't true when it comes to people. Unrequited love and affection are super painful to deal with. This is like the female version of "negging." Be above that.
5. Talking about your exes
Maybe you THINK you're subtly implying you're available, but all he hears is your fixation on another man. The point of breaking up is to move on, so what are you waiting for?
6. Waiting for him to make the first move
Sometimes you have to grab a bull by the horns. In a perfect world, no one would have to make the first move; you'd just meet in the middle naturally. Generally, two people can tell if they're interested in the other.
If you're waiting for him to go out on a limb before you show any interest at all, you're asking for a leap of faith ... and that's how you fall flat on your face.
7. Always hanging out, but never being the one to make plans
Not being proactive tells him you're not as excited to be together as he is, and therefore, you probably don't see him as anything more than a friend.
Someone who has a crush definitely has those butterflies in their stomach and is looking for any excuse to spend time with that person. Find an excuse.
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Bob Aladura is a writer for YourTango who focuses on love, relationships, and dating.