If He's Sending You Mixed Signals, This Is What He Actually Means

Photo: Marko Cvetkovic / Shutterstock
man and woman talking

He spends hours flirting with you — and then goes days without replying to your texts.

He stares at you from across the room — and then he walks by without a glance in your direction.

RELATED: If He Sends These 20 Mixed Signals, He's Not Relationship Material

He makes you feel like it’s only a matter of time until he becomes your boyfriend — and then he makes you wonder if you’re ever going to hear from him again.

You can’t figure out exactly how he feels about you, because he acts differently every day. You never receive the same reaction twice.

But those mixed signals aren’t a good thing. It rarely means that he’s unsure about you. That he’s torn between asking you to be his girlfriend and continuing the single life.

Mixed signals mean that he’s only willing to go halfway. He’ll talk to you, but only when he’s lonely and doesn’t have anyone else to text. He’ll give you all of his attention, but only on the days that it doesn’t inconvenience him.

Mixed signals mean that he cares — but not enough. Not enough to give you what you deserve.

You’ll never get all of him because he’s only willing to give you scattered pieces of himself. He doesn’t want to reveal too much, because that would signal something serious, and he’s not ready for that. He only wants you around for an ego boost. For some temporary happiness.

Yes, if it makes you feel any better, he does like you. He thinks you’re pretty and you’re interesting and you’re fun to be around. But he doesn’t like you with the same intensity that you like him.

After all, mixed signals mean that you’re a backup plan. There might not be any other girls he’s putting before you, but he’s putting other pieces of his life before you. He’s putting himself before your relationship.

RELATED: 22 Normal Things I Wish Guys Didn't Take As A Mixed Signal

And really, there isn’t a relationship, even if it feels like there’s been one budding. The truth is, he’s never going to be your boyfriend. He’s been leading you on, even if it wasn’t his intention.

But that’s okay. You don’t need to keep guessing how someone feels. You don’t need to keep interpreting the texts that pop onto your phone. You don’t need to keep questioning where you stand.

You deserve someone that doesn’t make you wonder. Someone that makes their feelings for you obvious by paying you compliments putting in effort and admitting that they want to be with you.

You deserve someone that has nothing to hide. Someone that will look you in the eyes and ask you on a date. Not someone that gives you a last-second invite to hang out at their apartment. Not someone that asks you to dinner and then cancels on you. Someone that takes you on an actual, authentic date where you swap childhood stories and kiss on the sidewalk.

And you shouldn’t have to wonder what that kiss means. Or what a text means. Or even what sex means. You should have your answers, because he should give them to you without restraint, without hesitation.

He should let you know how he feels, always, without falling into the pit of playing games.

So quit questioning what his mixed signals mean because, in reality, they mean nothing. They mean you should move on.

RELATED: The SECRET To Decoding His Mixed Signals—It's Easier Than You Think

Holly Riordan writes about love, loss, and anxiety.

This article was originally published at Thought Catalog. Reprinted with permission from the author.