Sex

I Tried The 'Seesaw' Position And It Rocked Me Like A HURRICANE

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J was randy. Good thing I was, too. We had been trading sexy texts all day. I'll leave the specifics up to your imagination, but suffice it to say, I was moister than a Jamaican rum cake. We were going to try the "seesaw" position later that evening, and both of us were already feeling pretty excited about it like two little kids stoked to go to Disney World and ride Space Mountain.

If the "seesaw" was as potentially thrilling as it looked, hopefully both of us would be taking a ride to outer space right at home.

Apparently, this sex position makes one's vaginal canal tighter than a virgin's and allows for deeper penetration (men with penises on the smaller side and ladies dating them, take note), so we were both excited to try it and explore new depths, so to speak. Plus, I had been practicing my Kegels so I was positive my vagina would be extra-tight. More friction for both of us — win/win.

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J dimmed the lights and put on Van Halen's "1984," a good album to get laid to. There's a time and a place for the sweet melodies of "Everlong" (acoustic version, of course) or other such romantical-ness, but we figured a sex position that required the flexibility of a yogi wasn't one of them. We would save Luther for something more intimate. We got the party started with some requisite making out.

"Time to put all that yoga to work!" J said excitedly.

I eagerly swung my legs back. I quickly realized why you never seen this position in porn; it might possibly be the most unflattering position for a woman ever. While you may impress him with your flexibility — with your legs behind your head — your stomach will undoubtedly look like a series of jelly rolls. Even Gisele wouldn't look pretty in this position.

The good news is, despite what the Victoria Secret catalog might make you believe, most men couldn't really care less.

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J quickly pounced on me. It felt like he had direct access to my G-spot, exploring previously unchartered territory.

"Holy sh*t!" I exclaimed.

"God that does feel good," J remarked.

"Do I feel tighter?"

"Like an industrial strength elastic," J replied.

"You're so sweet babe!"

I wasn't sure if J really meant it or was just saying that to be choice, but I would take it. He kept going at it, and for a change neither one of us wanted to switch positions. We finished up, pleased with our evening activities, and soon crashed.

Needless to say this was a sex position to revisit. Ladies, if you find this position uncomfortable, I'd recommend a pillow underneath your butt to help your legs go back. Not that I tried it; it just seems potentially easier if you're not the most flexible.

All in all, I'm pretty sure my yoga teacher would be proud of me. I'll never look at plow position the same again.