Women Who Are Only Pretending To Be Happy With Their Lives Say 11 Phrases Quite Often
kudla | Shutterstock Life isn't meant to always be rainbows and sunshine; in fact, there are bound to be times where we're forced to feign happiness just to get through a tough experience. Women, especially, are often taught to suppress their feelings and divert their anger, which can actually create not just mental health issues, but physical ailments as well. And it doesn't just show up in their behaviors, but the language and words they choose to use.
Women who are only pretending to be happy with their lives say certain phrases quite often that are meant to throw concerned loved ones off their trail. Unfortunately, their attempts to hide their sadness about where they are in life can only last so long before someone notices.
Women who are only pretending to be happy with their lives say 11 phrases quite often
1. 'I'm fine, really'
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As much as they may try, women who are pretending to be happy with their lives will constantly say they're fine, or that nothing is wrong. It doesn't feel good to lie, but those around her don't leave her much of a choice. Feeling like she has the weight of the world on her shoulders, she's unable to express how she truly feels.
Whether it's because she's viewed as the go-to therapist friend or has been shut down whenever she's tried to be vulnerable, women who can't express themselves suffer in silence. But it's crucial to seek help at the end of the day.
2. 'I should be happy'
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Just because life is going well doesn't mean people are going to be happy about it. Despite the family they have or the dream career they've attained, happiness isn't measured by these things alone. Feeling guilty for feeling this way, women pretending to be happy say "I should be happy" quite often.
Deep down inside, she knows she's blessed. Having her dream life, she does her best to push her unhappiness to the side. Unfortunately, if someone isn't living their fullest potential, no amount of money or support will ever make these thoughts go away.
3. 'Other people have it worse'
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Back in the day, whenever children complained, parents would remind them that other people had it worse. Shaming their children for feeling anything but happy, many kids grow into adults who internalize that unhappiness. And now, as adults, they continue to repeat it to themselves as a way to pretend they're actually happy.
For women, being taught to shut their emotions down means they don't know how to process their emotions and belittle themselves instead. This isn't helpful, as licensed marriage and family therapist Amy Smith explained, "There is always someone who has experienced something worse than we have. But that does not mean that our pain is not valid." While women can't help how they were raised, seeking help as an adult is crucial.
4. 'It is what it is'
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Life won't always work out the way people expect it to. No matter how perfect someone is or how detailed their plan is, the journey to happiness is not linear. While this may be true, it doesn't mean women can't grieve loss or failure of their own creation. Because it's perfectly okay to feel sadness.
Even if others put them down for feeling this way, women are human beings who deserve to process their pain the same as everyone else. Unfortunately, for those who have been taught to hide that unhappiness, they may tell themselves "it is what it is" in order to deflect.
5. 'I'm just tired'
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Whether it's at their job or from being a parent, burnout can become inevitable if someone doesn't stop it in its tracks. If a woman is truly going through it but doesn't want to reveal too much, she may pretend to be happy by using a phrase like "I'm just tired."
The truth is that it isn't physical exhaustion that's got her down. Feeling unsupported and isolated, she's exhausted because she's carrying the weight of the world on her shoulders. And feeling unsupported can lead to chronic depression, which can only make her situation worse.
6. 'Everything's perfect'
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In an ideal world, life would be perfect without any issues. From having the perfect marriage to being paid enough to afford basic necessities, enjoying life without worry is the dream for everyone. Unfortunately, reality is often bleaker than movies make it out to be.
Whether it's being afforded no job opportunities or entering into a difficult dating pool, life isn't as simple as we once thought. For women, this unhappiness can manifest as her telling herself that everything is perfect. While positive thinking has incredible benefits, she's struggling inside and needs someone to let her be vulnerable.
7. 'I don't have time to think about that'
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When a woman is living in survival mode, she rarely has time to put herself first. So focused on everything going on around her, she'll tell herself and others "I don't have time to think about that" as a way to deflect how she feels inside. Sometimes, keeping yourself busy to distract from the drama feels like the best option.
However, as clinical psychologist Dave Carbonell explained, when we use distraction to stop thinking about something, it can actually make things worse by letting our unwanted thoughts become more persistent. So, while it may be uncomfortable, finding the humor or silver lining is a lot more productive than avoiding the inevitable.
8. 'I'm just overthinking it again'
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There's nothing worse than overthinking, and it's something that can drive a person mad. While some women may overthink things like their daily duties or how they responded to a text, it shouldn't become a habit, as it can become quite toxic.
Their intuition is screaming at them to pay attention, and overthinking could be the thing that pushes them further from happiness. Scared to confront the life they've been living, they find some level of comfort in overthinking things, even if it's not good for them.
9. 'That's just how life is'
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While women may have expectations for the way their lives should go, the universe has a way of surprising them. But rather than embrace that disappointment and move on from it, women who are only pretending to be happy with their lives tell themselves this is their reality, and that's how life is, period.
In their eyes, they're being productive with their feelings. Rather than sulking in the corner, they choose to look at the bright side. But while choosing to look at things from this perspective can be helpful, pushing aside their feelings isn't. Because being emotionally avoidant has negative impacts on our relationships, as well as our mental and physical health.
10. 'I just need to stay positive'
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Making the most out of a bad situation is admirable. Whether it's picking herself up after a disappointment or learning from her mistakes, viewing life from a positive lens is always a good habit to develop. Unfortunately, while being optimistic is important, women who are only pretending to be happy tend to be toxically optimistic.
Never wanting to be negative or view a situation realistically, they live in denial. And while they have the best intentions, forcing themselves to be happy never works out. Rather than processing and preparing themselves, they remain toxically optimistic, denying reality until it bites them.
11. 'Everyone feels like this'
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If they grew up in a toxic household, women may think it's normal to feel so emotionally dysregulated. Watching their parents live such unhappy lives but pretending otherwise, they've learned to survive by pushing their real feelings down and acting like they're happy instead.
From faking smiles to shrugging off their underlying emotions, these women refuse to embrace how they feel. In the moment, it feels easier to live life staying surface-level, but if they aren't careful, they can get stuck in that mindset of rumination.
Marielisa Reyes is a writer with a bachelor's degree in psychology who covers self-help, relationships, career, family, and astrology.
