Why We Do What We Do In Relationships

Photo: TiTi Lee, cottagecorelife / creationsbyapuruh, and davideangeliniphotos via Canva
happy man

We spend so much of our lives trying to figure out why we have certain coping strategies, or why we do what we do in a relationship.

To me, it almost always comes back to one thing:

We’ve given our power away (or feel as though it was taken).



The way we deal with the pain of thinking we’re powerless — but knowing in our soul that we are not — is to get addicted to stuff and chase power and significance through things outside of ourselves.

Your power doesn’t live outside of you. You won’t find it through the latest marketing gimmick. It will not come from trying to look younger. It will not come alongside more muscles or more money.

be more than just enoughPhoto: yaruta / Getty Images Pro via Canva

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It is innate. And the work is to remove the thoughts/feelings/beliefs/choices that keep sending the message to you that you’re “not enough.”

Even in the pursuit of “enough-ness”: forget being “enough.”

Be all of it. Be more.

If your bigness threatens others, that is not your invitation to get smaller, it’s their invitation to rise. Stop accommodating other people’s limitations by making them yours. Forget that.

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You are on this planet to become your best and highest self. You're here to live a life that makes you and those around you happy. You're here to serve and share love.

You cannot do that if you continue to avoid your purpose and your truth, and then try to numb that pain of not answering the call with temporary BS that keeps you asleep.

Wake up. Stop hitting snooze on your mother-effin heart. Be big. Live big. Love big.

And know, you can never run from your truth or your power (they live in the same place!), so you best listen to your soul and honor that it knows the way. You just have to drive the car.

Trust. Trust. Trust. And love.


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Mark Groves is a Human Connection Specialist, founder of Create the Love, co-author of Liberated Love, and host of the Mark Groves Podcast. Mark's work bridges the academic and the human, inviting people to explore the good, the bad, the downright ugly, and the beautiful sides of connection.

This article was originally published at Mark Groves' substack. Reprinted with permission from the author.