Truly Admired People Usually Do These 11 Things That Normal People Can’t Figure Out
Beauty Stock | Shutterstock Many people dream of being respected by those around them, and who can blame them? It's human nature to want to belong, to feel like people want you around. For many people, it's also human nature to desire status and be admired among our peers. The thing is, truly admired people know that they need to work hard, but they also need to be authentic in order to earn the respect and admiration of others.
If you've ever looked at someone whom others seem to naturally respect and admire, you've probably noticed a few things they have in common. Not just their positions of authority or markers of status, but qualities that run deep and inspire them to do a few things that normal people simply cannot figure out.
Truly admired people usually do these 11 things that normal people can’t figure out
1. They are shamelessly confident
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There's nothing more admirable than someone who's comfortable in their own skin. They feel no need to dim their light or pretend to be less than they are. That doesn't mean they boast however, as truly confident people don't need to prove anything to anyone.
They also don't need to dominate others. Researchers who studied various types of pride, which is strongly related to confidence, reported that pride that is hubristic by nature is often shown by the need to be seen as the boss, the most impressive, or dominant. People with authentic pride, however, have a strong sense of self and no need to prove they're the best.
When someone is authentically confident, they do away with their fears of rejection or expectations. Instead, they learn to love themselves, which makes it easier to express and experience joy. Other people end up admiring them, as they are attracted to their inner light.
2. They're overwhelmingly positive
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Truly admired people are positive and it seems like just part of their nature. This positivity isn't just expressed through words, it shows up in their behaviors and their overall energy. They smile a lot, which research has linked smiling to increased social perceived attractiveness, as well as a signal of intellect and trustworthiness.
While it may seem like admired people are just naturally positive, they often work hard to make sure their energy serves them well. They are aware that complaining doesn't serve them well, and often pay attention to their body language to avoid slumping or crossing their arms in ways that may put people off.
These habits help highly admired people grow a positivity practice. Whether that's through writing gratitude journals, meditation, or simply reminding themselves to smile, that positivity grows and spreads outward and people love it.
3. They're not afraid of what others think
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To be admired requires you to do what's right and not worry about what most others might think. Understandably, this is a lot easier said than done because people often crave approval. In fact, our need for approval runs so deeply that, according to an experiment, individuals are likely to switch their test answers just to conform to their group's opinion. And when we look at the conversations around peer pressure or the bystander effect, it makes a lot of sense.
Truly admired people aren't immune to what everyone thinks, however. When they receive criticique from someone they trust, they take it to heart. After all, they don't want to hurt others or cause harm, and if someone believes they are acting immorally, they'll listen and promise to do better.
But random people who just want to judge them? They have no interest.
4. They show kindness, even to strangers
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The greatest thing about admirable people is their ability to be kind, no matter what. Whether it's a friend or a stranger, they treat others with respect and dignity. And this inspires others to do the same.
It's important to note that being kind doesn't always mean being accommodating or "nice" in surface ways. Kindness sometimes also means setting boundaries, offering thoughtful critique and simply saying "no" when something doesn't feel right.
Admirable people know that true kindness does a service to humanity. People who fake kindness or are nice in order to get something they want or to appease others are much less likely to be truly admired.
5. They show their love as well as speaking it out loud
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Actions speak louder than words, and most people would probably agree. That being said, words are not meaningless.
Here's the thing that truly admired people know: telling someone you care about them reminds them that they are important, but showing them through acts of service, consistency and accountability proves it.
Ultimately, love and care are best conveyed when words and actions match. Admirable people are considerate towards others and find ways to show appreciation with small gestures without expecting anything in return.
6. They walk away in the face of disrespect
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The worst feeling is being disrespected by someone else, but truly admired people know better than to take the bait. They don't lower themselves to the disrespectful person's standards, but they also don't sit around and wait for more disrespect.
Admirable people don't argue unless there's a very important reason to do so, and if they do, they try to keep the intensity at the "discussion" rather than "fight" level. As trial lawyer and professor Craig B. Barkacs MBA, JD says, "You don't fight for or defend your viewpoint, but you don't sacrifice or betray it either."
Adding to his advice, Barkacs continued, "It's not that you're not committed to your viewpoint, but at the same time, you're either not willing to risk damaging the relationship, or the fight just doesn't seem worth it." So, guess what? Walking away is more than okay and anyone witnessing the event will admire the one who walks away instead of fighting all the more.
7. They're humble when they succeed
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If someone wants to be truly admired by others, it's important to stay humble. According to the researchers mentioned in point number one, above, who studied pride, noted that authentic pride is motivated entirely differently than hubristic pride. People with authentic pride are more likely to have a purpose in life, a motivation that is bigger than them.
Hubristic pride, however, was found to be motivated by a need for public recognition or even adoration, like a desire to be famous or influential. That's why you can tell a lot about a person from how they win or what they do when something goes their way.
According to Berkeley's Greater Good project, "Nascent research suggests that this lovely quality is good for us individually and for our relationships. For example, humble people handle stress more effectively and report higher levels of physical and mental well-being." And that may be why so many people in their 80s and 90s are so well-admired!
8. They're loyal to their values
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There are certain values or morals you should never compromise on. And if you want to be admired, sticking to those ethics is a must. This is something truly admired people not only believe, it's something they live.
For example, if they've promised themselves to never spread gossip, they'll either find an excuse to leave the room when others are gossiping or they'll never never repeat a word of what they've heard. Even more profound, they'll likely remind themselves that not all things people say about others are true, and simply ignore whatever gossip they've heard.
Admired people stay true to their values, even when they're unpopular. People who are petty may mock this or even feel uncomfortable in the shadow of someone who stays true to themselves, but someone with such strong values won't let that dissuade them.
9. They keep their emotions in check
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It's tough to keep it together when you're going through a difficult time, but people who are truly admired find a way to make sure that their emotions don't cause them to diverge from their values. That doesn't mean they push away their feelings. It's just the opposite, in fact. Admirable people have done the work to learn how to feel their emotions, process them and then manage them.
When we process our emotions rather than wallow in them, we allow them to have an impact, but we don't allow them to hijack our systems. People who process their emotions in a healthy way are less likely to take their discomfort or pain out on someone else, which is something a truly admired person should never do.
To avoid this, truly admired people find ways to cope. If meditation isn't working, for example, they may explore new ways of managing, even if it includes something like hypnosis. This may sound wacky, but it's actually a clinically proven technique and the point is to find a way to ground yourself back to reality, which is of high value to people who are admired by others.
10. They don't hesitate to take charge if needed
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People are drawn to confidence, but even more to those who are willing to take the lead and guide others. That's why truly admired people will rise to the occasion when leadership is needed, especially if the person in charge is causing harm.
Normal people may find this overwhelming or intimidating, and the highly admired person likely felt that way at one point, too. What makes the admired person special is their willingness to push past that fear and dive into a leadership position, taking charge when it will benefit others.
The other difference between normal people and admired ones is that the latter don't need to take charge. They can sit back and relax and even follow the lead of a competent leader when it aligns with their values. It's not about ego, it's about making a situation more peaceful, more productive and overall better for everyone involved
11. They feel fear and do the brave thing anyway
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As civil rights leader Nelson Mandela and former president of South Africa wrote in his book, Long Walk To Freedom, "I learned that courage was not the absence of fear, but the triumph over it. The brave man is not he who does not feel afraid, but he who conquers that fear."
Those words hit deep, not just because they inspire us, but because they come from someone who is truly admired around the world, someone who had so much integrity that he will be in history books as long as any of us live. He made real change in his country and inspired generations of others to work for justice around the world.
You and I are unlikely to ever be admired in the way Mandela was, but we can still be inspired to do things that feel scary or overwhelming, especially when they benefit others. Doing so is one of the biggest traits shared by admired people have in common, something normal people simply can't figure out.
Marielisa Reyes is a writer with a bachelor's in psychology who covers self-help, relationships, career, family, and astrology topics.
