11 Tricks Of People Whose Lives Get Better Every Single Year, That Miserable People Overlook
Little loops of misery become lifelong habits — if you let them.
Rafa Barros | Pexels I've given a lot of time and energy to what people think all my life. It made me depressed and attracted even more disrespect. It never felt good, so I did everything possible to learn about not caring. But it never worked, so I shifted my perspective.
Turns out, some people just seem to get better with age — and it has nothing to do with how apathetic they are. It's not that life hands them fewer problems; it's that they've figured out a handful of relatively simple tricks that keep them moving forward instead of staying stuck in the same old-same old. Meanwhile, miserable people often overlook these very achievable habits, leaving them frustrated and stagnant year after year.
Here are 11 tricks of people whose lives get better every single year that miserable people overlook:
1. They know not caring is not being anti-social
It’s about accepting reality and being okay with it. When we’re okay, we are happier, which benefits the people around us.
2. They don't take themselves so seriously
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Self-esteem is something you’ve made up in your head. Use your common sense, but don’t allow your need to look perfect to pollute your joy.
The American Psychological Association cautioned that "As awareness has grown about mental health crises in young people, researchers and clinicians are increasingly flagging achievement culture as one contributing factor. Cultivating a drive to succeed is important for providing a sense of purpose, meaning, joy, and well-being. But when people feel like they can’t ever live up to expectations, the pursuit of perfection can become detrimental to mental health, leading to disconnection from an internal sense of self-worth."
3. They make others feel good and more empowered
This takes the attention off you, and you’ll be less self-conscious, too.
Findings from a 2021 study demonstrated that self-serving bias tells us that it's easy to blame others for one's failings. Even if you do your best to be kind and considerate, you might still be judged by others. Remembering that people often behave the only way they know how is essential.
4. They know that every human is weird and insecure in their own way
No exceptions. No exceptions. We are all connected in our individual strangeness, and this basic fact is soothing.
"If you are judging, doubting, shaming, or even hating yourself, you are probably not fully aware you are doing it. When you take this first step and consciously realize you are doing it, you will also become aware of how you are doing it, when you are doing it, and why you are doing it," advised couples counselor Pernilla Lillarose.
5. They accept that they will offend people
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No matter what stance you take, some people will be offended. Accept this, speak with heart, and learn to be okay with the reality that people will dislike you.
Life coach Carolyn Hidalgo suggested, "If guilt or shame has crept in when you are being yourself, it means you’ve allowed someone else’s “right way” to override your own sense of your true self. There’s a why behind their disappointment, anger and judgment of how you “should be” according to their ideals that is coming up against who you believe you are."
6. They know self-consciousness reduces performance and flow
The antidote to self-consciousness? Stop trying anything. You don’t need a clever mindset. You need to relax.
7. They act the part
Lean into the part of you unaffected by other people’s opinions of you. You can find that side of you. You need to be open to the idea that this part of you exists.
8. They don’t care that they don’t have all the answers
No one knows everything. So stop preplanning. Let it flow. Let your creative wisdom rise when you need it.
9. They treat their body and mind well
You can’t be at ease in your skin when you treat your body like garbage and continually feel like trash. You must do what you can to feel good and maintain a stable mood.
"Feeling comfortable in your skin is to feel confident and good about who you are. It’s easier said than done. To say it’s simple is to ignore and invalidate every bit of anxiety that shows up when you’re faced with something new or a repeat of something awkward and uncomfortable. Being comfortable in your skin takes practice. It’s humbling, and it means facing your anxiety more times than you may imagine," advised life coach Caroline Maguire.
10. They are okay doing absolutely nothing
Too many self-proclaimed experts talk about all this stuff you need to think about when you’re in the moment. That gets you out of the moment. Relax and focus on being where you are.
According to a 2021 study, the fears associated with what others think of you are misguided. "Results suggest that social anxiety is associated with unfavorable, unstable self-views that are linked to compromised well-being. The time we assume others spend passing judgment is more than they actually do.
11. They stop taking every single one of their thoughts seriously
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Thinking about what’s ‘wrong’ with you or how scary other people are makes it worse.
People are not scary. Your thoughts are. So ignore them and face up to people because pssst: they're just as scared as you.
Alex Mathers is a writer and coach who helps you build a money-making personal brand with your knowledge and skills while staying mentally resilient. He's the author of the Mastery Den newsletter, which helps people triple their productivity.
