11 Things Smart People Notice Instantly When They Talk To A Low IQ Person
Those with high intelligence have a way of noticing when they're interacting with someone who isn't on their level.
GaudiLab / Shutterstock The best conversations we have with people are the ones that feel both stimulating and lighthearted. They're the ones that continue to flow because both people are extremely curious and genuinely interested in picking each other's brains. However, there are things smart people notice when they talk to a low-IQ person that make it feel like, no matter how many different topics they bring up, they keep hitting invisible walls or barriers of some sort. Maybe the other person isn't as engaged in the interaction, or they're just having a hard time keeping up.
Individuals with higher cognitive abilities approach conversations differently because their brains not only process information at a faster rate than those with a low IQ, but also because they're driven to interact with people who are just as curious as they are. While intelligence is just one part of what makes someone interesting, there are other factors that play into the kind of person someone is. Characteristics like kindness, passion, humor, and creativity are just as important and valuable as having a high IQ. But if you've ever walked away from a conversation feeling overly tired and perhaps even confused, it's likely played some role.
Here are 11 things smart people notice instantly when they talk to a low IQ person
1. They have a limited vocabulary
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Those with high levels of intelligence can quickly tell when someone they're talking to might not have the right words to express themselves. People with limited vocabulary often rely on using the most basic and everyday words and phrases to convey their point, to the point where the conversation can end up feeling repetitive. Things might be described using basic words like "good" or "bad." When discussing their day, they might say it was fine, rather than providing more detailed descriptions with specific words.
Of course, it's hard to have extensive knowledge of words and vocabulary when we're in the middle of a literacy crisis. According to the National Assessment of Educational Progress (NAEP), in 1984, 35% of 13-year-olds reported reading for fun "almost every day." In 2023, the figure was down by 14%, and 31% of respondents said they never read for fun at all.
When those with high IQs interact with others who can't find word choices outside of one-word answers like that, it can end up feeling as if they're just stuck in this flat and uninteresting conversation. Because they usually have a repertoire of extensive vocabulary, conversations are never surface-level, but with people who don't, it can end up feeling like that.
2. They lack self-reflection
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One of the clearest signs that a smart person can sense when speaking with someone who has a low IQ is the fact that they severely lack self-reflection. Highly intelligent individuals are always looking at themselves and questioning their own beliefs, choices, and opinions, especially when interacting with others. Those who lack the same self-reflective abilities will almost never ask themselves or think about why they are the way they are, or even what they could be doing wrong that might be affecting others.
"Self-reflection isn't a one-time event. It's a continuous process, a lifelong journey of understanding ourselves and our place in the world. It's about recognizing our strengths, acknowledging our weaknesses, and striving to become better, stronger, and more resilient," explained psychotherapist Ilene S. Cohen.
Instead, they tend to live in their own little worlds and view their beliefs as something that's fixed and can never be challenged. It can make conversations feel quite rigid when someone is not open to hearing the opposite of what they think because they're simply stuck in their own world.
3. They become defensive quickly
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When an individual struggles with their critical thinking skills or just feels insecure in their ability to communicate effectively, especially when speaking to someone with a higher IQ than they have, even the most gentle prodding can make them feel threatened. Because of that, they may end up getting a bit more defensive instead of seeing questions being thrown at them as a way to clarify and really hone in on what they're saying and the opinion they're trying to get across.
"Defensiveness acts as a barrier to healthy and constructive communication. It prevents the building of trust, understanding, and empathy in relationships. By recognizing the impact of defensiveness and actively working to be less defensive, we can create a more open and supportive environment that fosters connection and growth," pointed out licensed therapist John Kim.
Most of the time, it's just this natural instinct to protect themselves, especially when they start to feel as if they're being judged. Smart people have a way of noticing the defensiveness up front because of how quickly the other person wants to just shut down the conversation or even double down on what they're saying.
4. They interrupt without adding anything new
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Smart people can sometimes sense when a good conversation feels like it's not going anywhere, especially when someone with a lower IQ than they have constantly interrupts but doesn't quite have anything new to add. They might enter the conversation with a bit of eagerness that suggests they have all these new ideas and points to offer. Still, in reality, they end up just repeating what someone else has said or making a throwaway comment that doesn't align with anything that has been discussed.
"Most of us are uncomfortable with pauses and what we may consider awkward silences. But in those pauses, we can reflect on the meaning of what a person has just said. Try to keep your mind from wandering during those moments of silence; there may be significance behind the pause itself," encouraged positive psychology life coach Caren Osten.
It's as if people who constantly interrupt would rather be heard than actively participate in the discussion. It ends up becoming clear that they're really not processing anything that's being said to them and are more interested in waiting until there's a lapse of silence to speak, when they really should just be actively listening.
5. They're uncomfortable with uncertain things
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Smart people, when conversing with someone who has a lower IQ than they do, can tell when that person becomes uncomfortable with questions they don't have a perfect answer to. Those with high intelligence become fascinated by researching and discovering answers to things they may not have known before. It doesn't intimidate them or make them feel frustrated.
Therapist Nicole Whiting explained, "Embracing uncertainty is more than a philosophical ideal; it's a practical approach to living a full and meaningful life. By acknowledging the illusion of control, nurturing our creative instincts, and welcoming curiosity, we can transform the unknown from a source of fear to a wellspring of growth."
People who shy away from uncertainty and find it uncomfortable usually try their best to wrap things up instead of questioning them or trying to get to the bottom of them. For the most part, it's because they don't find things they don't know intriguing at all. It leaves conversations with them feeling quite stunted instead of fulfilling, especially when they're so quick to dismiss the idea of learning.
6. They assume disagreement means automatic conflict
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There's a difference between a healthy disagreement and an actual conflict. Those with high intelligence are aware that having conversations with people who have differing opinions doesn't mean it has to be a disrespectful kind of dialogue. Through disagreement, people can learn, question, and even come to different conclusions if the opposing side they're hearing makes sense and is something they ultimately agree with.
"In particular, facing the need to argue with a close other can be energizing and motivating—the topics that bring about arguments remind us of what is important to us, from our core values to our goals for a given day. Arguments also give us the opportunity to think about and voice how we feel about our relationships and 'who we are' as friends or dating partners," explained interpersonal communication expert Jennifer A. Samp.
However, for those that might have a lower IQ, they can feel as if challenging questions means they're not being respected. The discussion can quickly turn tense instead of being an opportunity to further their understanding about a certain topic.
7. They don't notice when they contradict themselves
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Those with a lower IQ might struggle to notice when their statements contradict each other in conversation. It's not that they're trying to be inconsistent, but that they lack the ability to reflect on their ideas and the reality that two things can be true at once.
When in conversation, smart people are used to asking themselves if what they're saying makes sense, but when someone doesn't have the ability to pause and really reflect on their belief, they end up noticing the lack of self-awareness. Conversations with individuals who can't see how their contradictions end up making things more confusing can be quite exhausting and feel as if you're going around and around in circles.
8. They struggle with nuance
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People who only think in black and white and never look at the grey area think that either something is completely wrong or completely right. However, that's not how life works. Nuance exists, and having this rigid mindset that everything is only one way or another means you're missing out on valuable conversations and opinions.
Those with high intelligence are aware that some things are just extremely complex, and it's better to veer away from the black-and-white thinking because it means you'll end up missing out on the real insight into things. Conversations with those who can't see that can feel quite frustrating because these individuals simply refuse to see anything outside of themselves and their own thoughts.
9. They see learning as something to finish
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We never stop learning. It doesn't matter if it's been years since we've sat in a classroom; education truly never stops. Those with high intelligence not only recognize this, but they also embrace it. They are always eager to learn more because it means they're growing as individuals and expanding their worldview. However, people with low IQs may view learning as something they can finish and never have to do again.
The problem with this mindset is that it does them a disservice. In conversations, they may become impatient with people who constantly dig into and question topics they are already familiar with. Learning is an ongoing process, and when someone sees it as being static instead, especially around smart people, it hints that they would rather stay informed about the bare minimum than grow.
10. They rarely cite sources
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When smart people converse with those who may have lower IQs than they do, they quickly notice that many of the topics they discuss lack concrete evidence to support them. Those with high intelligence thrive on having the appropriate research to back up what they're saying, rather than simply stating, "I saw it somewhere online." It makes it hard for smart people to tell when in conversation with those who rarely cite their sources, whether they're sharing something grounded in evidence or just a rumor they saw on a random blog.
It can quickly turn a thoughtful interaction into something that you have to take with a grain of salt because you're unsure if what you're hearing is even true. If you're discussing things that sound complex, it's always good to have some source to pull from, even if you aren't aware of what it may say verbatim.
11. They need everything spelled out
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Some people may struggle to follow conversations unless every little point and detail is laid out for them, step by step. For smart people, they find the most enjoyment and fulfillment in conversations that leave space for nuance and may contain layers upon layers.
When someone is unable to pick up on that, the conversation often loses its depth for them, especially if that person always requires constant clarity about every detail. Because high IQ individuals truly enjoy stimulating and layered conversations, it can feel as if they're being forced to dilute that part of themselves when talking to people who need everything spelled out.
Nia Tipton is a staff writer with a bachelor's degree in creative writing and journalism who covers news and lifestyle topics that focus on psychology, relationships, and the human experience.
