Why You Should Stop Trying To Be An Extrovert (When You're Really An Introvert)
Who says you should change to make everyone else feel comfortable?!
Being an introvert can be challenging.
You enjoy being alone and having a small group of friends. Because of this, you sometimes struggle to meet new people. Even when you do, you find yourself constantly having to defend the way you behave. This frustrates you because you clearly accept people for who they are, introverts and extroverts alike, but no one wants to accept you.
People who have type A personalities (extroverts) don’t understand you. They tell you that you need to loosen up. They want to know if you are always this quiet. They ask why you are so shy and why you hide certain parts of yourself from the world.
Without always realizing it, they are basically trying to tell you that you should be more like them. You should be loud, outgoing, the life of the party.
People tend to surround themselves with people who are similar to them, because it is familiar. Familiarity is comfortable.
Being an introvert with a type B personality, when you’re in a crowd of people, they often feel uncomfortable. As you start to sense this, you try to change yourself to fit in with them. You go to parties you know you will dread. You say things you know you don’t mean. You agree to things you know you don’t believe in.
While the people around you begin to relax, you begin to become unhappy. You are steering away from what makes you unique and since you struggle to share your feelings, you are stuck crying on the inside. Accepting who you are is already hard enough, so why would being like someone else make things any easier? It sucks pretending to be someone you aren’t simply for the sake of others. So, no matter what, don’t pretend.
Here are a few reasons why you should stay true to yourself, even if it makes other people uncomfortable.
1. Different is good.
You were meant to stand out! If you were the same as everyone else, then there would be no room for growth. You wouldn’t be able to challenge other’s opinions and have them challenge yours. Because you are an introvert, you pick up on more than most people ever care to notice. Your observant nature allows you to see the good, the bad and the ugly.
You use this to your advantage when choosing who to associate yourself with, and this will prevent you from being in a lot of sticky situations. When you choose to stay true to yourself and accept that you are different, you inspire others to do the same. In doing so, you possess the power to make change. It only takes one person to make change, that person is you.
2. The right people will love you.
Changing yourself to get validation from others will only result in you receiving the short end of the stick. You will end up surrounded by people who don’t genuinely care about you and who will only spend time with you to get what they want. You deserve better.
The people who are truly your friends will never ask you to be someone else. They will love every bit of you and think that your personality brings balance to the group. These will be the relationships that you cherish forever. You won’t just fit in, you will belong. You will feel comfortable opening up without fear of being judged. The relationship will be mutually beneficial, as you use your strengths to help your friends and they do the same for you.
3. You won’t be truly happy.
You will become miserable after spending so much time trying to be someone you aren’t. It's already bad enough to feel like the odd one out, but it’s even worse to still feel that way even after you’ve tried so hard to fit in. You find that no matter how much you change, someone will always have a problem. You will always make someone uncomfortable. Either way you have this constant feeling of not being good enough.
Happiness comes from within.
That being said you won’t ever be truly happy if you aren’t being yourself: doing what you love and being around people you love. This is when you will feel most at ease and that energy will be transferred onto others.
4. People being uncomfortable has nothing to do with you.
Most of the time, when you make others uncomfortable, it is because they are unsure about themselves. As an introvert your presence speaks volumes without you having to say a word. You come off as the mysterious person that people want to know more about.
People seem to approach you differently. It is not always stated, but when people see this they wonder what it is about you that draws this reaction from others. Acknowledging that you make them uncomfortable forces them to think about why they feel this way around you. In the bigger scheme of things, it forces them to think about how people might view them and how they might prefer to be treated.
View this as a good thing. When people start to look inside of themselves instead of focusing on others, more good than harm can come out of it.
So, when you start to feel the need to fit in, think about why you are perfect just the way you are. Take pride in being an introvert. Stay true to yourself and watch how you inspire others to do the same.
Alexis George is a writer who covers love, relationship advice, astrology and personality topics.