11 Things That Instantly Reveal Someone Was Forced To Grow Up Too Fast
Because growing up fast does, in fact, leave marks.
kaanturker / Shutterstock Most people who have met me are shocked to find out how old I am, even on the phone. The truth is that it’s not just my looks. It’s the way I talk and my attitude, often switching between sounding a lot older and a lot younger than I am.
The truth is that I grew up a bit too quickly in many ways. And just like the way I talk clues people in, there are several other things people do that instantly reveal that someone was forced to grow up too fast. This is often a matter of “it takes one to know one.” Don’t believe it? Watch for these signs next time you’re around someone you think may have seen a bit too much, too soon.
These are 11 things that instantly reveal someone was forced to grow up too fast
1. They act 'old' all the time
stacey newman from Getty Images via Canva
While most people can take a break to goof off or joke around, this individual is not doing that. They’re straight-faced, maybe even a bit crotchety. This isn’t always easy to spot, but when you see a 20-year-old who acts like a mom of eight, you’ll notice it.
This can actually be a sign of trauma. The person in question behaves that way because they literally can’t relax. They have likely been taught that they must be strong and responsible, or else face consequences.
2. When a child is around, they automatically go into caretaker mode
Tatsiana Volkava from Getty Images via Canva
This is a weird sign I noticed that happens a lot with children who have been parentified. In other words, children who grow up too fast are forced to act like the primary caretakers of others while they, themselves, are still developing.
They often don’t know how to say no to people or how to stop acting like a parent, even when others ask them to take a break.
Speaking of…
3. They people-please or struggle with healthy boundaries
Goran13 from Getty Images via Canva
Parentification is one of the most common ways that people end up “growing up too fast” in our society. It also happens to be one of the signs of a highly toxic family dynamic where children are taught to be responsible for their parents’ feelings.
If you struggle to say no, especially to older people, that may be a warning sign that you’ve grown up too fast. You’re used to being treated as an emotional bandage or the “glue” that comes with a family.
4. When they’re young, they know or discuss things they shouldn’t
SDI Productions from Getty Images via Canva
This is a sign of growing up as a result of inappropriate trauma, if you get my drift. However, it can also be a sign that they have responsibilities that aren’t appropriate for their age.
For example, a 14-year-old shouldn’t be the one talking about tax filings.
5. They always seem a bit on edge
prathan chorruangsak via Canva
Does the person in question seem to be a bit jittery? Maybe somewhat easily startled or easily angered? Unsurprisingly, growing up too fast tends to cause people to fall into one of two buckets: the emotionally over-regulated and the emotionally under-regulated.
The underregulated people tend to be the ones who have serious anxiety as a direct result of the things they experience. Simply put, the trauma is affecting them now rather than earlier on.
6. They’re hyper-achievers
olia danilevich via Canva
A common “flavor” of growing up too fast is Hurried Child Syndrome, which occurs when parents basically browbeat their kids into being model A+ students, no matter what the cost.
Adults who were “hurried children” were often shipped from study program to study program, never given a chance to rest. Parents put so much pressure on them that they were forced to grow up fast.
Unsurprisingly, this means they are often afraid of failure. Psychologists note that perfectionism run amok is a common issue among the hurried children of today.
7. You have to drag them to try anything new
Prostock-studio via Canva
When you’re given the opportunity to try a new thing or go for a challenge, does your friend join in? Because people who grew up fast often had to have the world on their shoulders, they generally don’t like making mistakes.
So, new challenges where they don’t know how to handle things? They’re not going to like that. Not a bit!
8. Despite everything, they have an extraordinary sense of resilience
irynakhabliuk via Canva
We often hear that “kids are more resilient than you expect,” but people who grew up too fast often take it to the next level. Things that would annihilate other people often won’t seem to budge them that much.
Even if they do shake, that shake doesn’t last long. They bounce back surprisingly well because they’re over-regulated.
9. They have little tolerance for immature behavior
Andrea Piacquadio from Pexels via Canva
As someone who has many friends who grew up as “hurried children,” I noticed this to be one of the most telling signs of a person who has grown up too fast. They’re constantly demanding a high level of intelligence from those around them.
This is the result of years of being told they’re not enough. It’s part projection, part anger at seeing others get leeway they never had.
10. When they see kids acting like kids, they can’t understand it
Ronald Plett from Pixabay via Canva
Have you ever seen a Hurried Child interact with actual children or teenagers? They don’t understand the idea of “playing pretend,” nor would they often understand the need to act rebellious at a rock concert.
It’s not that they are jealous or even annoyed sometimes. They just don’t get why it’s even fun.
11. They occasionally give a hurt look at toys, children, or people laughing
triloks from Getty Images Signature via Canva
Have you ever seen a person who always wanted something but never quite got what they asked for? It’s pretty brutal, really. You can see the longing they have in their eyes when they think no one is looking.
Sadly, you can’t rewind time to get a decent childhood. You can, however, work on building an adult life that allows you to experience those things.
Ossiana Tepfenhart is a writer whose work has been featured in Yahoo, BRIDES, Your Daily Dish, Newtheory Magazine, and others.
