11 Subtle Ways People Reveal Their True Character Without Even Realizing
iona didishvili | Shutterstock Getting a person to reveal their true character isn't as simple as we may think. People hide who they are or don't express themselves for fear of judgment. However, it all relates back to the little things people do that speak to who they are, often without even realizing.
Luckily, there are ways to tell who a person really is without them having to explain it themselves. Their everyday actions and reactions are great indicators of how genuine they are.
11 subtle ways people reveal their true character without even realizing
1. The way they treat service staff
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If someone is rude or inconsiderate to workers, especially service or wait staff, it's a good indicator that this person lacks empathy. However, if they're kind and compassionate to service staff members, they're likely a compassionate person who has empathy for others.
According to research, having empathy is associated with life satisfaction, overall well-being, and self-efficiency. In contrast, disrespecting people in working service is an indicator of a narcissist. Because narcissists need power and control, they tend to be quick to demean others as a way to "put them in their place."
If a person treats wait staff poorly, consider it a major sign that their true character is opposite of their outward persona and the way they portray themselves to others.
2. How they react during stressful situations
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People often reveal their true character during times of stress. If someone explodes in anger due to a little bit of pressure, they might be an unstable person who has simmering rage. On the other hand, a person who is able to handle stressful situations and keep a cool head indicates composure and likely high emotional intelligence.
Emotional intelligence is a gift, overall. Studies have shown that emotionally intelligent people are better equipped to handle stressful situations, compared to emotionally immature people. Additionally, emotional intelligence can increase happiness and self-esteem in a person's relationship.
3. How they manage their time
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How a person manages their time can tell you a lot about their true character. It can indicate whether they are responsible, disorganized and even if they might have ADHD. While ADHD isn't a character trait, it can certainly influence how people see them.
People who always run late are often seen as irresponsible and inconsiderate of other people's time. However, arriving on time consistently signifies a care for others and a need to represent themselves in a positive light.
These individuals understand that once someone has an impression of a person, they will be hard-pressed to change their mind. While this isn't always fair, as people make mistakes, research backs this up, claiming that it takes much longer to reverse someone's bad impression than it does for them to form a good impression.
4. How well they listen
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A person who lacks basic listening skills most likely has a self-centered personality, and they way the interact with you when you need to talk can reveal a lot about their true character. They don't care to learn about others due to their focus on their own issues or simple lack of empathy.
In contrast, people who take time to listen to others are both eager learners and open-minded. Research has found that people's ability to listen increases their background knowledge, vocabulary, and reading comprehension. Additionally, highly intelligent people tend to be more open-minded to the opinions of others.
Being around someone who doesn't listen is frustrating, but it reveals a whole lot about who they are as a person deep down.
5. Their ability to respect boundaries
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Respecting other people's boundaries is a sign that someone is considerate and cares for those around them, and that is a major sign of their true character. They understand the importance of boundaries and are aware of their actions, making sure others aren't uncomfortable.
As one study found, respect predicated relationship satisfaction better than scales measuring avoidance or their partner qualities. Respect impacts a person's self-esteem and overall well-being, so someone who can't respect boundaries or another's wishes is likely not the person they portray themselves to be.
6. Their level of self-awareness
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The ability to be aware of one's surroundings points to the capacity to step outside of one's comfort zone. In everyday life, people get so caught up in their own problems that they neglect those around them. This leads to unconscious actions that show a lack of care and consideration.
However, people who are kind and show care for their surroundings tend to experience a boost in their happiness and well-being. And showing kindness and compassion has been shown in research to lead to improved physical health by lowering blood pressure.
Someone's level of self-awareness indicates the type of person they truly are, so it's important to pay attention.
7. The way they talk about others
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The way people talk about others indicates if they're a secure person or not, which can reveal a lot about their character. If someone is positive, they're likely secure with themselves and aren't easily threatened; however, those who spread rumors and lies, or are mean to others without reason, are likely insecure.
Insecurity is oten negatively associated with self-control, life satisfaction, and low levels of hope. Insecure people spend a great deal of time talking negatively about others; they also can't control their negative thoughts, leading them to lash out. That is one big reason to be on the lookout for how people talk about others.
8. The way they treat animals
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If a person disrespects or harms an animal, they usually have no empathy or compassion. Many may also consider them to be bad people. Unfortunately, people like this believe their actions are justified, thinking along the lines of "animals aren't human beings, so it doesn't matter."
But not showing respect or concern for animals isn't just wrong, it also gives people a bad name and negative perception from those around them.
This connection isn't just speculation. Studies show that animal cruelty is directly associated with domestic violence. That's not to say that people who dislike animals are violent people, but the connection is still there. People who disrespect animals aren't just rotten people, they may also be dangerous, which is a strong reflection of their true nature.
9. Their work ethic
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A person's work ethic reveals their level of dedication as well as a lot about their true character. People who work hard likely aren't careless with their tasks and tend to do their utmost best. On the flip side, people who are not hard-working have a reputation for being lazy. Most view them as uncaring or unmotivated, which is a fairly valid point.
Psychiatrist Neel Burton M.A., M.D. says that lazy people have a lack of motivation and have no desire to complete their tasks. Through this, they fall behind, making everyone around them frustrated, as they have to do double the work. Their willingness to let other people clean up after them and solve their problems says a lot about who they are.
10. How they react to other people's success
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The way someone reacts to other people's success reveals how secure or insecure they truly are. Being able to celebrate and remain genuine exposes a secure person who doesn't need much reassurance. However, belittling remarks, aggressive comments, or stealing the spotlight shows their true character, and it's not pretty.
This type of behavior leads to consequences like destroying relationships with others. It's important to be wary of people who can't be happy for another's success, and could indicate that they secretly have poor character.
11. How they react to their own mistakes
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One big way people reveal the true nature of their character without even realizing is in how they react when they've made a mistake or hurt someone's feelings. A person who has a strong character may feel regret and may even be annoyed or angry at first, but they'll be angry at themselves, not others.
In contrast, a person of poor character may dig in and try to deny their mistake or lash out at someone else in response. This person probably feels ashamed, which often leads to anger and blame when a person doesn't know how to take accountability. That's why mistakes and errors are such a powerful indicator of who someone is, and a great place to look when you're trying to learn more about someone's character.
Marielisa Reyes is a writer with a bachelor's in psychology who covers self-help, relationships, career, family, and astrology topics.
